The Colbert Report
Intro - 3/21/06
Season 2 • 03/21/2006
Tonight: Japan may have won the World Baseball Classic, but we can still kick their ass at Sudoku.
Connie ChungThe Colbert ReportS2
Connie Chung went back to work because her husband, Maury Povich, was sick of her being around the house all the time.
Intro - 3/20/06The Colbert ReportS2
Tonight, Stephen raises the alert from brown to grizzly, Hollywood tries to destroy America and, hopefully, Connie Chung doesn't reveal what keeps romance with Maury alive.
Movies That Are Destroying America - Post-Oscar Wrap-UpThe Colbert ReportS2
The pageantry of the Oscars is over, and all we're left with is horrible, horrible movies.
The Word - Stop ItThe Colbert ReportS2
The vernal equinox was last night, and now even the weariest among us feels a stirring within at the world's rebirth -- which bring us to tonight's word: stop it.
War in Iraq - Third AnniversaryThe Colbert ReportS2
For the war in Iraq's third anniversary, Stephen thought it would be nice to get a cake in the shape of the prophet Muhammad.
World Baseball ClassicThe Colbert ReportS2
Japan defeated Cuba 10-6 to win the World Baseball Classic -- we won! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!
The Word - Eat ItThe Colbert ReportS2
Expensive tests for mad cow disease make corporations sick, and nothing tears Stephen up more than the thought of a sick corporation.
Steve KroftThe Colbert ReportS2
Does Morley Safer makes Steve Kroft run and get him cigarettes on the set of "60 Minutes"?
The In-Box - CorrectionsThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen loves getting e-mail from viewers -- even corrections sound like love letters.
Employee Performance ReviewsThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen had scheduled employee performance reviews for after the show, but decides to go ahead and conduct them on-air.
Intro - 3/21/06The Colbert ReportS2
Tonight: the early symptoms of mad cow disease, which include short term memory loss, and the early symptoms of mad cow disease, which include short term memory loss.
Dan SenorThe Colbert ReportS2
Former Coalition Provisional Authority spokesman Dan Senor is conservative on national security but liberal on neckties.
Sign Off - Thank You, AmericaThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen wants to thank America for watching -- not the viewers at home, but the government.
Advice for Jennifer AnnistonThe Colbert ReportS2
Jennifer Aniston is moving from Hollywood to Chicago, and Stephen has some advice for her: head to the Wiener's Circle at Clark and Wrightwood and get a francheesy.
Better Know a District - California's 27th - Brad ShermanThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen's interview with Representative Brad Sherman, whose district contains a large portion of the porn industry, is interrupted by a pizza delivery guy.
The Word - I Am the Great and Powerful OzThe Colbert ReportS2
By firing teachers who claimed to have credentials they didn't earn, Miami schools are sending their students the wrong message -- don't get caught.
Intro - 3/22/06The Colbert ReportS2
Tonight: Florida teachers take a break from having sex with their students, Stephen explores California's fightin' 27th and the Iraqis are really using their newly-built hospitals.
Sign Off - The Reason for the HearthThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen knits a scarf for America by the fireside and offers a few words on the meaning of the hearth.
Home, Hearth, Heart and Heartland - This Land Is Your LandThe Colbert ReportS2
American values are going right down the toilet -- and not one of those modern, low-flow, sissy toilets, either.
Intro - 3/23/06The Colbert ReportS2
Tonight: Stephen celebrates American values, teaches the White House Press Corps some manners and learns how John Kasich dares call himself Bill O'Reilly's replacement.
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