The Colbert Report

NASA Lasso

Season 9 • 04/11/2013

NASA unveils an exciting plan to nudge away an asteroid.

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04:16

The Colbert ReportS9
Anthony Weiner's Comeback

After withdrawing from public life to spend more time with his penis, ex-congressman Anthony Weiner is ready to stick it back in.
04/10/2013
03:14

The Colbert ReportS9
Navy Laser Technology

America now has a laser canon that can do anything from scorch a fast-attack boat to dazzle the enemy with a nonlethal burst.
04/10/2013
06:47

The Colbert ReportS9
Shane Smith

VICE co-founder Shane Smith discusses his journalism adventures in Taliban-controlled areas, North Korea and labor camps.
04/10/2013
00:07

The Colbert ReportS9
Sign Off - Laser Tag

Stephen blasts America's enemies with dollar lasers.
04/10/2013
06:28

The Colbert ReportS9
Tip/Wag - Gun Edition - United Nations, Senate Republicans & Video Games

The NRA lobbies against a U.S.-backed gun treaty, Senate Republicans fail to filibuster background checks, and Democrat Joe Manchin blames video games for gun violence.
04/10/2013
04:38

The Colbert ReportS9
America's Pot-astrophe - Nick Gillespie

Reason.com's editor-in-chief discusses the war on drugs, "Reefer Madness" and drug sentencing reform.
04/11/2013
05:20

The Colbert ReportS9
Cass Sunstein

Obama's former Regulatory Affairs Administrator describes government health and safety nudges, like the USDA's "MyPlate."
04/11/2013
03:03

The Colbert ReportS9
Times Square Mascots Ban

A Cookie Monster mascot shoves a toddler to the ground in New York City, so big government butts in with fun-stomping regulations.
04/11/2013
00:06

The Colbert ReportS9
Sign Off - Goodnight

Stephen flings a WristStrong band.
04/11/2013
04:27

The Colbert ReportS9
America's Pot-astrophe

Stoners will soon demand the civil right to marry their Mary Jane, and Republicans surrender their values for the youth vote.
04/11/2013
03:19

The Colbert ReportS9
NASA Lasso

Rope is the most advanced technology NASA can afford to fight Earth's space enemies.
04/11/2013
00:05

The Colbert ReportS9
Sign Off - Goodnight

Stephen says goodnight.
04/16/2013
07:40

The Colbert ReportS9
Tip/Wag - Brood II Cicadas, Sexcereal & GOP Internet Memes

Scientists predict a plague, Canada makes the world's most passionate cereal, and the NRCC redesigns its website.
04/16/2013
02:07

The Colbert ReportS9
Intro - 4/16/13

What the Boston Marathon terrorists really don't get is that they attacked an unshakable group of people who run 26 miles until their nipples are raw on their day off.
04/16/2013
04:48

The Colbert ReportS9
Rollie Eggmaster

One product provides an answer to the question, "How can I make my breakfast fit more snugly into my colon?"
04/16/2013
05:55

The Colbert ReportS9
Caroline Kennedy

"Poems to Learn by Heart" author Caroline Kennedy encourages people to steal her book with their minds.
04/16/2013
01:53

The Colbert ReportS9
Ricin Letters & Boston Bombing Suspects

Someone tries to poison Obama, and a major breakthrough occurs in the reporting of all the things people don't know yet about the Boston bombings.
04/17/2013
04:14

The Colbert ReportS9
Bitcoin Plunge - Adam Davidson

The host of NPR's "Planet Money" describes what shady people do with bitcoins.
04/17/2013
05:56

The Colbert ReportS9
Alan Cumming

Alan Cumming discusses Broadway's production of "Macbeth," set in a psychiatric unit.
04/17/2013
00:07

The Colbert ReportS9
Sign Off - Goodnight

Stephen hides behind a cowboy hat.
04/17/2013
05:42

The Colbert ReportS9
"Accidental Racist" Song

Brad Paisley is so committed to kick starting a dialogue between blacks and whites that he starts one mid-song with LL Cool J.
04/17/2013
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