The Colbert Report
Eating the Distance - The Brad Sciullo Story Pt. 1
Season 5 • 10/01/2009
Brad Sciullo sets out to eat a 15-pound burger to prove that anything is possible.
Sign Off - Goodnight, GrammyThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen says goodnight to his grammy.
Send Your Medical Bills to Max BaucusThe Colbert ReportS5
Senator Max Baucus will pay for your medical bills from the $3.2 million he's received from the health care industry.
A Pace OdysseyThe Colbert ReportS5
NASA begins assembling Stephen's treadmill so America's famously fat astronauts can get trim in space.
Richard DawkinsThe Colbert ReportS5
After offering evidence for evolution, Richard Dawkins wants to see the evidence for God.
ThreatDown - Environmentalists, Kang Lee & Mountain Pine BeetlesThe Colbert ReportS5
Environmentalists target soft toilet paper, Kang Lee exposes the lies parents tell kids, and mountain pine beetles prevent us from shooting bears.
Intro - 9/30/09The Colbert ReportS5
Stephen has an update on his space treadmill, and he'll evolve Richard Dawkins' book into tiny shreds of paper.
Francis CollinsThe Colbert ReportS5
Francis Collins informs Stephen that it's going to take time for stem cell research to give him crab claws.
Najibullah Zazi Threatens Beauty SuppliesThe Colbert ReportS5
Suspected terrorist Najibullah Zazi threatens America's unregulated use of beauty supplies.
Sign Off - New SlangThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen introduces some new slang into the teen lexicon.
2016 Olympics in Chicago - George WendtThe Colbert ReportS5
George Wendt and Stephen trash talk Rio de Janeiro, Madrid and Tokyo for competing against Chicago's 2016 Olympics bid.
Eating the Distance - The Brad Sciullo Story Pt. 1The Colbert ReportS5
Competitive eater Brad Sciullo wants to prove anything is possible by finishing a 15-pound hamburger called "The Belly Buster."
Arne DuncanThe Colbert ReportS5
Secretary of Education Arne Duncan wants longer school hours so American students can compete with the rest of the world.
Eating the Distance - The Brad Sciullo Story Pt. 2The Colbert ReportS5
Brad Sciullo's training regime of drinking, vomiting and trout prepares him to conquer "The Belly Buster."
Americans for Prosperity Cheer Chicago's FailureThe Colbert ReportS5
The conservative group, Americans for Prosperity, cheers when they hear the news of Chicago's failure to host the 2016 Olympics.
Intro - 10/5/09The Colbert ReportS5
President Obama proposes a longer school year, and Arne Duncan could only get a job as a secretary.
The Word - Learning Is FundamentalThe Colbert ReportS5
As a fifth grader and small businessman, Andy Gellman has to think about how longer school hours will affect the economy.
John DarnielleThe Colbert ReportS5
John Darnielle discusses his cheerfully desolate song lyrics and his respect for suicidal mountain goats.
Formula 401: A Star Is BornThe Colbert ReportS5
Your baby can look like whichever celebrity Stephen impersonates while creating Formula 401: A Star Is Born.
New Swine Flu Vaccine DropsThe Colbert ReportS5
The swine flu vaccine shoots straight to the top of the vaccine charts, blowing away Japanese encephalitis.
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