The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

Intro - Beating up Santa

Season 5 • 12/06/2000

Jon beats up Santa.

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01:00

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
Intro - Joke Elves

Jon Stewart catches the joke elves in the studio having a sex party.
12/05/2000
00:12

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
Moment of Zen - Fighting Weight

Dick Cheney hasn't hit his fighting weight yet.
12/05/2000
02:18

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
This Just In - Haute Beef Injunction

Blood sausage may be rendered unappetizing as mad cow disease spreads across Europe.
12/05/2000
04:47

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
In Cold Sap

What kind of a person could make use of a dead tree? A carpenter perhaps?
12/06/2000
02:08

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
Headlines - Shell on Earth

The world's oldest tortoise celebrates its 170th birthday by dancing on the hare's grave, very slowly.
12/06/2000
02:04

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
Headlines - Eleven Large

Eleven freshman senators are welcomed to the Senate, including Hillary Clinton.
12/06/2000
00:16

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
Moment of Zen - Jingle Bell Rock

Rudy Giuliani, Al Roker and others sing at Rockefeller Center.
12/06/2000
02:35

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
Back in Black - Jail Time

The Daily Show won't pay to dry clean Lewis Black's suit, but will pay a cameraman overtime to film his release from prison.
12/06/2000
04:44

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
Chris O'Donnell

Not a single person was lost during the eight months of shooting Chris O'Donnell's new movie.
12/06/2000
00:57

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
Recap - 12/6/00

Jon recaps today's stories and previews tomorrow's Stephen Colbert piece.
12/06/2000
01:02

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
Intro - Beating up Santa

Jon beats the crap out of a Santa on the street ringing a bell.
12/06/2000
00:16

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
Moment of Zen - Fingernails

The man with the longest fingernails in the world takes them out of their special bag.
12/07/2000
02:42

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
Sexy Underwear

Dave Attell runs down the hottest gifts for the holiday season, mainly sexy lingerie for women and fruity underwear for men.
12/07/2000
00:53

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
Intro - 12/7/00

Jon teases at a stock market report from Stephen Colbert and appearances from Marlon Wayans and Dave Attell.
12/07/2000
01:31

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
This Just In - Not Wheels

Defective scooters are the subject of a massive recall, prompting a consumer product safety spokesman to tell us what we already know.
12/07/2000
04:32

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
Marlon Wayans

Marlon Wayans talks about his new film "Dungeons & Dragons" and how pretending a tennis ball is a dragon is like playing with yourself.
12/07/2000
04:38

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
Invested Interests

Stephen Colbert takes a bath in a stock tip from his wife and asks students at The Thomason School how best to ethically enhance the value of Starmedia.
12/07/2000
02:34

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
Headlines - Elector Complex

The Republican-controlled Florida state government calls a session in order to uphold the Constitution, not to engage in partisan politics.
12/07/2000
01:16

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
Headlines - Nail-Safe

The man with the longest fingernails in the world prepares to cut them off and sell them, most likely to the owner of the world's largest unopened envelope.
12/07/2000
01:46

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
This Just In - Indecision 5761

This guy, Ehud Barak, only had one project on his plate -- no wonder his constituents are angry.
12/11/2000
01:04

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
Courting Disaster - Supreme Court Junkies

Among the lucky few allowed to view the Bush v. Gore Supreme Court proceedings were Mike Teavee, Violet Beauregarde, Veruca Salt and Augustus Gloop.
12/11/2000
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