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The Colbert Report
Goodnight, Daisy
Season 5 • 04/23/2009
Stephen tells Daisy goodnight.
More
Watching
00:35
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 4/22/09
President Obama returns from the Summit of the Americas, and Stephen looks forward to making fun of Ira Glass' glasses.
04/22/2009
02:03
The Colbert Report
S5
"The Price Is Right" Goes Green
Stephen bids less than a dollar on environmentally friendly prizes.
04/22/2009
05:33
The Colbert Report
S5
Summit of All Fears
Esteban Colberto believes Barack Obama has bigger plantains to fry than the Summit of the Americas.
04/22/2009
05:32
The Colbert Report
S5
Where and When Is Stephen Going to the Persian Gulf? - Qatar
Alcohol and pornography aren't allowed in Qatar, but they didn't say anything about O'Doul's and the Talbots catalogue.
04/22/2009
00:12
The Colbert Report
S5
Never Go to Bed Angry
Don't go to bed angry. Stephen will do that for you.
04/22/2009
05:14
The Colbert Report
S5
The Word - Brunt Double
Until we can all agree on whom we should be angry at, tearing each other apart is the best plan we've got.
04/23/2009
00:39
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 4/23/09
Who is to blame for the economic crisis? If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, the ducks probably did it.
04/23/2009
03:27
The Colbert Report
S5
Illegitimate Grandson of an Alligator
Have you heard the rumor that Bill Posey's grandmother had her alligator baby out of wedlock?
04/23/2009
05:47
The Colbert Report
S5
Elizabeth Bintliff
Elizabeth Bintliff brings along Daisy the Cow to promote Heifer International, an organization that delivers livestock to developing countries.
04/23/2009
04:26
The Colbert Report
S5
America Does Not Swear On Camera
Shepard Smith swearing on camera isn't something one gets away with like torture.
04/23/2009
00:10
The Colbert Report
S5
Goodnight, Daisy
Stephen bids goodnight to Daisy the Cow.
04/23/2009
02:04
The Colbert Report
S5
Days of Swine and Doses
The swine flu virus contains a little something from pig, bird and human -- just like Stephen's paella recipe.
04/27/2009
06:58
The Colbert Report
S5
Shout Out - Kids Edition
Stephen promises never to eat Ewok, provides some child-safe Nazi footage and raises the competition on donorschoose.org.
04/27/2009
03:36
The Colbert Report
S5
The Decemberists
Colin Meloy describes The Decemberists' latest album by listing influences Stephen's never heard of.
04/27/2009
01:43
The Colbert Report
S5
Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - Fir Tree Lung
Christmas trees are supposed to warm the cockles of our hearts, not infest the alveoli of our lungs.
04/27/2009
00:31
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 4/27/09
Swine flu rages, and The Decemberists stop by and officially sell out.
04/27/2009
02:11
The Colbert Report
S5
A Rare Correction - Stephen Eats an Ewok
Stephen wasn't completely honest when he said he'd never eat an Ewok.
04/27/2009
04:15
The Colbert Report
S5
Daniel Gross
Daniel Gross urges rich cable TV personalities to buy steaks, cigars and whiskey.
04/28/2009
01:36
The Colbert Report
S5
Arlen Specter Contracts Donkey Flu
Republicans tried to fight off donkey flu, but their white cells weren't strong enough.
04/28/2009
00:12
The Colbert Report
S5
No Animals Were Harmed
No animals were harmed, but after the credits roll, all bets are off.
04/28/2009
00:33
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 4/28/09
Stephen learns what it takes to be a foreign correspondent, besides a pad, a pencil and an anti-American bias, and drinks are on Daniel Gross.
04/28/2009
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