The Colbert Report
Season 9 • 01/09/2013
The paleontologist pinpoints shared DNA among people, plants, rocks and Jupiter.
The Colbert ReportS9 Bin Laden Film Controversy
Since America is long overdue for a thorough investigation into its use of torture in movies, the Senate Intelligence Committee goes after "Zero Dark Thirty."
The Colbert ReportS9 Chris Kluwe
Chris Kluwe explains the punter's role and reiterates his support for pro-gay Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo.
The Colbert ReportS9 Postage Price Hike
The USPS Forever Stamp goes up by one penny, which proves the government can't do anything right.
The Colbert ReportS9 Sign Off - VACSA-TERN
Stephen sips on the blood of the young and admires himself in the mirror.
The Colbert ReportS9 Intro - 1/8/13
Science finds the key to a long, healthy life, "Zero Dark Thirty" stirs up controversy, and NFL punter Chris Kluwe discusses gay rights advocacy.
The Colbert ReportS9 Gun Control Backlash
Schools work armed officers into their prom themes, and former NRA President Marion Hammer knows that outlawing assault weapons is just another form of discrimination.
The Colbert ReportS9 Intro - 1/9/13
America considers gun control, a troubling food addiction surfaces, and paleontologist Neil Shubin finds the missing link between sea and land creatures.
The Colbert ReportS9 Idaho's Walled & Armed Community
An exciting real estate opportunity boasts family shooting ranges, a firearms factory and safety from federal thugs.
The Colbert ReportS9 Sign Off - McGnaw the Gluten-Free Beaver
Stephen says goodnight and gnaws on McGnaw's piece of wood.
The Colbert ReportS9 Thought for Food - Wheat Addictions
America gets hooked on a new substance that's just as addictive as crack: a loaf of bread.
The Colbert ReportS9 Neil Shubin
The biological scientist shares his book, "The Universe Within: Discovering the Common History of Rocks, Planets, and People."
The Colbert ReportS9 Roadside Sofa Boning
A 46-year-old man is arrested for having sex with a couch, so public schools start teaching safe sex with plastic slipcovers.
The Colbert ReportS9 Benjamin Gibbard
The lead singer of Death Cab for Cutie discusses his relatively universal solo album, "Former Lives."
The Colbert ReportS9 Obama's Failed Second Term
President Obama is turning out the way white males wanted him to, and Jack Lew's sloppy signature will make America's currency a laughingstock.
The Colbert ReportS9 Tip/Wag - HAPIfork & Kevin Garnett
A consumer technology keeps people from consuming, and Kevin Garnett dishes out some Hefty brand trash talk.
The Colbert ReportS9 Stephen Colbert's Double Barrel Blam-O-Rama - Guns as Civil Rights Victims
Martin Luther King, Jr. understood that the root of all oppression is lack of firepower while Ted Nugent has long been an inspiration for the civil rights movement.
The Colbert ReportS9 Stephen Colbert's Double Barrel Blam-O-Rama - Silver Bullets & Video Games
Vice President Joe Biden prepares his recommendations for gun control, while video games, along with Oscar nominees like "Lincoln," glamorize gun violence.
The Colbert ReportS9 Sign Off - Pocketbook Constitution
Stephen reads up on the U.S. Constitution.
The Colbert ReportS9 Piers Morgan
Piers Morgan, who comes from a place without the Second Amendment, quietly points out England's low gun murder rates.
The Colbert ReportS9 Stephen Colbert's Double Barrel Blam-O-Rama - Piers Morgan & James Yeager
British journalist Piers Morgan drives on the wrong side of the barrel, and Tactical Response CEO James Yeager protests Obama's upcoming gun grab.
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