The Colbert Report
Season 5 • 12/02/2009
How are the troops supposed to know what to do in Afghanistan if Obama doesn't say the word "win"?
The Colbert ReportS5 Gold, Frankincense and Mars - Guy Consolmagno
Brother Guy Consolmagno explains why the Vatican accepts the possibility of alien life.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sherman Alexie
Sherman Alexie criticizes digital technology for taking away the local celebration and appreciation of books.
The Colbert ReportS5 Better Know a Made-Up District - Connecticut's 42nd
Connecticut's 42nd District is located in the middle of the River Styx and is represented by Brad Pitt's character from "Fight Club."
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 12/1/09
The Catholic Church searches for life on other planets, and Sherman Alexie discusses his book, "War Dances."
The Colbert ReportS5 U.S. Army Chain of Command
By sending 30,000 more troops to Afghanistan, President Obama must be unfamiliar with the chain of command.
The Colbert ReportS5 Cheating Death - R.J. Reynolds, Genzyme & Bionic Bottom
R.J. Reynolds hopes to make money off of quit-smoking aids, Genzyme pills contain trash, and a man regulates his bowel movements via remote control.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 12/2/09
Barack Obama sends 30,000 troops into Afghanistan, and Craig Watkins overturns old convictions with DNA evidence.
The Colbert ReportS5 Craig Watkins
Craig Watkins tries to bring back credibility to the criminal justice system by overturning wrongful convictions.
The Colbert ReportS5 Deployment Figures
President Obama's speech to send 30,000 troops to Afghanistan was missing passion and a certain word.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 12/3/09
Tiger Woods says he's sorry, Stephen has Olympic fever, and Janet Napolitano isn't securing the homeland.
The Colbert ReportS5 Tiger's Tale
Tiger Woods didn't realize that cheating is a sacred institution between one man, one woman and one other woman.
The Colbert ReportS5 Skate Expectations - Skeleton Team Tryouts - Zach Lund
Zach Lund gives Stephen the history of skeleton racing before helping him try out for the Olympic team.
The Colbert ReportS5 Janet Napolitano
Janet Napolitano discusses America's border security and explains why she doesn't believe in the color-coded terror alert level.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Welcome Sean Julien
Stephen welcomes the newest member of the Colbert Nation, Sean Julien.
The Colbert ReportS5 Skate Expectations - Skeleton Team Tryouts
Stephen isn't attending the Vancouver Olympics just to ombud -- he's going as a member of the U.S. Olympic team.
The Colbert ReportS5 Tip/Wag - Jonas Brothers, Fox News & Japanese Burger King
The Jonas Brothers promote the Xbox 360, Fox News enforces a new accuracy pledge, and Japanese Burger Kings sell a Windows 7 Whopper.
The Colbert ReportS5 Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - Tongue-Eating Parasite
Scientists discover a parasitic fish off the coast of New Jersey that survives by eating and replacing the host's tongue.
The Colbert ReportS5 Bill T. Jones
Bill T. Jones describes how Fela Kuti fought against the Nigerian government with his music.
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