The Colbert Report

Cookie Monster

Season 4 • 06/19/2008

Cookie Monster betrays Americans by abandoning cookies for fruit.

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Watching

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02:34

The New Smurfs Movie
The Colbert ReportS4

If Stephen is going to play any Smurf in the new Smurfs movie, it'll be Ballsy Smurf.
06/18/2008
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05:34

Junot Diaz
The Colbert ReportS4

Stephen asks Junot Diaz how he won the Pulitzer if he wasn't born in America.
06/18/2008
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04:42

The Word - Lexicon Artist
The Colbert ReportS4

Using language to turn failed policy into ideals that transcend debate is the best way to get people to think of John McCain as transcen-presidential.
06/18/2008
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00:29

Intro - 6/18/08
The Colbert ReportS4

How can John McCain distinguish himself from President Bush? Here's one way: don't get elected president.
06/18/2008
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02:56

Sean Hannity Loves America
The Colbert ReportS4

Way to go, Sean Hannity. Stephen doesn't know where you find the courage to call America the greatest, best country God has ever given man on the face of the Earth.
06/19/2008
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06:02

Bishop N.T. Wright
The Colbert ReportS4

Stephen tells Bishop N.T. Wright his idea of heaven is getting a harp, drinking a mint julep and asking Ronald Reagan questions.
06/19/2008
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00:40

Stephen's Missing Peabody
The Colbert ReportS4

Did Cookie Monster eat Stephen's Peabody?
06/19/2008
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00:32

Intro - 6/19/08
The Colbert ReportS4

Sean Hannity professes his love for America. Sorry, Sean. Stephen's married.
06/19/2008
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02:28

Make McCain Exciting Challenge - The Secret of McCain's Brain
The Colbert ReportS4

With John McCain's head severed, it will fit more easily up George Bush's butt.
06/19/2008
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00:59

Shout Out - Peabody Awards
The Colbert ReportS4

George Foster Peabody wins the coveted Stephen T. Colbert Award for excellence in recognizing excellence.
06/19/2008
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05:10

Cookie Monster
The Colbert ReportS4

Un-American fruit is now the number one snack for children under six, and Cookie Monster's to blame.
06/19/2008
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06:08

Barbara Ehrenreich
The Colbert ReportS4

Stephen wants you to buy Barbara Ehrenreich's book so she gets super rich and has to swallow her words.
06/23/2008
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04:44

Tip/Wag - Barack Obama
The Colbert ReportS4

Stephen flip-flops on flip-flopping and gives Senator Obama a tip of his hat for proving he's a regular politician after all.
06/23/2008
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00:35

Intro - 6/23/08
The Colbert ReportS4

There is racial progress in South Africa. Stephen hopes this means he can start buying blood diamonds again.
06/23/2008
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03:00

WristStrong Anniversary
The Colbert ReportS4

After Stephen's traumatic wrist injury, he pledged that he would never again break a fall with his hands.
06/23/2008
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00:12

Sign Off - Time for Stephen to Watch
The Colbert ReportS4

Stephen hopes you've enjoyed watching him. Now he's going to watch you.
06/23/2008
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03:06

Oil Crisis
The Colbert ReportS4

Yes, we need offshore drilling, but what about off-porch drilling?
06/24/2008
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01:44

Hollywood Face Violence
The Colbert ReportS4

Shame on Will Smith for hurting other people's faces. His face already has the unfair advantage of being amazingly handsome and stunningly symmetrical.
06/24/2008
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00:28

Intro - 6/24/08
The Colbert ReportS4

Should we solve the oil crisis with offshore drilling? Stephen says any excuse for a preemptive strike on the ocean.
06/24/2008
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06:08

Will Smith
The Colbert ReportS4

Stephen asks Will Smith if he supports Barack Obama because he secretly wants to play him in a movie of his life.
06/24/2008
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03:53

The Word - Bleep
The Colbert ReportS4

Thank you, George Carlin. Few people have done more to repress what other people can say.
06/24/2008
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