The Colbert Report

Cookie Monster

Season 4 • 06/19/2008

Cookie Monster betrays Americans by abandoning cookies for fruit.

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Watching

02:34

The Colbert ReportS4
The New Smurfs Movie

If Stephen is going to play any Smurf in the new Smurfs movie, it'll be Ballsy Smurf.
06/18/2008
05:34

The Colbert ReportS4
Junot Diaz

Stephen asks Junot Diaz how he won the Pulitzer if he wasn't born in America.
06/18/2008
04:42

The Colbert ReportS4
The Word - Lexicon Artist

Using language to turn failed policy into ideals that transcend debate is the best way to get people to think of John McCain as transcen-presidential.
06/18/2008
00:29

The Colbert ReportS4
Intro - 6/18/08

How can John McCain distinguish himself from President Bush? Here's one way: don't get elected president.
06/18/2008
02:56

The Colbert ReportS4
Sean Hannity Loves America

Way to go, Sean Hannity. Stephen doesn't know where you find the courage to call America the greatest, best country God has ever given man on the face of the Earth.
06/19/2008
06:02

The Colbert ReportS4
Bishop N.T. Wright

Stephen tells Bishop N.T. Wright his idea of heaven is getting a harp, drinking a mint julep and asking Ronald Reagan questions.
06/19/2008
00:40

The Colbert ReportS4
Stephen's Missing Peabody

Did Cookie Monster eat Stephen's Peabody?
06/19/2008
00:32

The Colbert ReportS4
Intro - 6/19/08

Sean Hannity professes his love for America. Sorry, Sean. Stephen's married.
06/19/2008
02:28

The Colbert ReportS4
Make McCain Exciting Challenge - The Secret of McCain's Brain

With John McCain's head severed, it will fit more easily up George Bush's butt.
06/19/2008
00:59

The Colbert ReportS4
Shout Out - Peabody Awards

George Foster Peabody wins the coveted Stephen T. Colbert Award for excellence in recognizing excellence.
06/19/2008
05:10

The Colbert ReportS4
Cookie Monster

Un-American fruit is now the number one snack for children under six, and Cookie Monster's to blame.
06/19/2008
06:08

The Colbert ReportS4
Barbara Ehrenreich

Stephen wants you to buy Barbara Ehrenreich's book so she gets super rich and has to swallow her words.
06/23/2008
04:44

The Colbert ReportS4
Tip/Wag - Barack Obama

Stephen flip-flops on flip-flopping and gives Senator Obama a tip of his hat for proving he's a regular politician after all.
06/23/2008
00:35

The Colbert ReportS4
Intro - 6/23/08

There is racial progress in South Africa. Stephen hopes this means he can start buying blood diamonds again.
06/23/2008
03:00

The Colbert ReportS4
WristStrong Anniversary

After Stephen's traumatic wrist injury, he pledged that he would never again break a fall with his hands.
06/23/2008
00:12

The Colbert ReportS4
Sign Off - Time for Stephen to Watch

Stephen hopes you've enjoyed watching him. Now he's going to watch you.
06/23/2008
03:06

The Colbert ReportS4
Oil Crisis

Yes, we need offshore drilling, but what about off-porch drilling?
06/24/2008
01:44

The Colbert ReportS4
Hollywood Face Violence

Shame on Will Smith for hurting other people's faces. His face already has the unfair advantage of being amazingly handsome and stunningly symmetrical.
06/24/2008
00:28

The Colbert ReportS4
Intro - 6/24/08

Should we solve the oil crisis with offshore drilling? Stephen says any excuse for a preemptive strike on the ocean.
06/24/2008
06:08

The Colbert ReportS4
Will Smith

Stephen asks Will Smith if he supports Barack Obama because he secretly wants to play him in a movie of his life.
06/24/2008
03:53

The Colbert ReportS4
The Word - Bleep

Thank you, George Carlin. Few people have done more to repress what other people can say.
06/24/2008
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