The Colbert Report
Season 5 • 11/09/2009
The Republicans will kill the health care reform bill and the murder weapon will be Joe Lieberman.
The Colbert ReportS5 Tip/Wag - Rush Limbaugh & Us Weekly
Rush Limbaugh has no clue about who will beat Barack Obama in 2012, and Us Weekly judges celebrities' kids on their appearance.
The Colbert ReportS5 William Bratton
William Bratton works to take the American police force model to emerging democracies and post-conflict nations.
The Colbert ReportS5 Cheating Death - Swine Flu Scam Detector & Vaxaconda
The Prescott Swine Flu Scam Detector exposes fake treatments, while Vaxaconda prevents kidney failure and rodent infestations.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Donate to U.S. Speedskating
Don't forget to donate to the U.S. Speedskating team.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Poison Gas
You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here -- Stephen's flooding the studio with poison gas.
The Colbert ReportS5 U.S. Speedskating Team Takes Gold
Thanks to the Colbert Nation, the U.S. Speedskating team wins the gold at the World Cup.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 11/9/09
The House passes a health care bill late Saturday night, and Stephen ignores Thomas Campbell's suggested donation request.
The Colbert ReportS5 Better Know a District - Delaware's At-Large - Mike Castle
Congressman Mike Castle doesn't believe Delaware should allow people to marry chickens.
The Colbert ReportS5 Thomas Campbell
Thomas Campbell explains to Stephen why people come to see art at the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
The Colbert ReportS5 Trouble, Coverage
The House Democrats pass health care reform while Republicans are at home watching Wanda Sykes' new show.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - You Can't Take It With You
You can't take it with you, but you can lick it so no one else takes it when you're gone.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 11/10/09
The Iranian revolution celebrates 30 years, and Stephen assumes Maria Shriver's new charity is California.
The Colbert ReportS5 Barney Frank Is Not a Great Outdoorsman
Just because Barney Frank authored a bill to legalize medical marijuana doesn't mean he could recognize a pot plant.
The Colbert ReportS5 Maria Shriver
Maria Shriver feeds Stephen Lovin' Scoopful, her new ice cream that benefits Special Olympics.
The Colbert ReportS5 Iraniversary - Karim Sadjadpour
Karim Sadjadpour describes Iranian math superstar Mahmoud Vahidnia's unprecedented act of challenging Iran's supreme leader, Ayatollah Khomeini.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Stephen's Fight With Christopher Caldwell
The show went well except for the violent fistfight Stephen had with Christopher Caldwell that had to be edited out.
The Colbert ReportS5 Christopher Caldwell
Christopher Caldwell says unassimilated Muslim immigrants have disrupted European relations between ethnic groups and the sexes.
The Colbert ReportS5 Grover the Hill
America's most insidious socialist brainwashing program, "Sesame Street," celebrates its 40th anniversary and introduces Pox News.
The Colbert ReportS5 Goldman Sachs Does God's Work
Despite collecting the highest salary on Wall Street, Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein never forgets he's a blue-collar guy doing God's work.
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