The Colbert Report
Sign Off - Thanks, Elvis Costello
Season 5 • 11/19/2009
Elvis Costello promises to come back and do a song with Stephen.
Intro - 11/17/09The Colbert ReportS5
Congress cracks down on child labor, Stephen profiles California's 12th district, and Malcolm Gladwell talks about his new book.
Malcolm GladwellThe Colbert ReportS5
Malcolm Gladwell tries to get people to see connections between their own worlds and worlds outside of theirs.
The Word - Grand Old Pity PartyThe Colbert ReportS5
Fact checking and opposition research are the same thing to Sarah Palin because she knows the facts are out to get her.
Eggo Waffles Shortage AlertThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen puts America on Waff-Con Four and calls on President Obama to open the strategic waffle reserves.
ThreatDown - Quetzalcoatl, Santa Claus & Canadian Groin KickersThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen refuses to apologize to Quetzalcoatl, Santa Claus could make you sick, and a Canadian woman kicks strangers in the balls.
Norah JonesThe Colbert ReportS5
Norah Jones doesn't like her fans enough to get caught snorting coke in her underwear.
Intro - 11/18/09The Colbert ReportS5
Sarah Palin has a 400-page book, "2012" takes the world by storm, and Norah Jones talks about her famous father, Indiana.
Tip/Wag - U.S. Speedskating Team, NY Lottery & William PhillipsThe Colbert ReportS5
The U.S. Speedskating team wins at the World Cup, the New York Lottery goes upscale, and a fifth grader refuses to recite the Pledge of Allegiance.
Stephen Shakes His MoneymakerThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen liquidates his investments and injects them into his ass after the Senate introduces a tax on plastic surgery.
Celebrating the AK-47 - John PikeThe Colbert ReportS5
John Pike talks about the popularity of the AK-47 as the Russian designer celebrates his 90th birthday.
Sign Off - Thanks, Elvis CostelloThe Colbert ReportS5
Elvis Costello will come back and do a song with Stephen when he gets his voice back.
Intro - 11/30/09The Colbert ReportS5
Copenhagen hosts an environmental summit, Stephen talks to an advocate for nuclear disarmament, and Cevin Soling says schools have turned into prisons.
Amateur Hour at the White HouseThe Colbert ReportS5
Joe Biden crashes President Obama's state dinner to get on "The Real Housewives of Delaware."
Cevin SolingThe Colbert ReportS5
Cevin Soling says public schools have been transformed into prisons because of an overdependence on security.
Something Is Melting in Denmark - Dan EstyThe Colbert ReportS5
Dan Esty believes President Obama will bring a change in spirit to the United Nations Climate Change Conference.
Better Know a Lobby - Ploughshares FundThe Colbert ReportS5
Joseph Cirincione plays "Sanction, Bomb, Marry?" with Iran, Pakistan and North Korea.
Gold, Frankincense and Mars - Guy ConsolmagnoThe Colbert ReportS5
Brother Guy Consolmagno explains why the Vatican accepts the possibility of alien life.
Sherman AlexieThe Colbert ReportS5
Sherman Alexie criticizes digital technology for taking away the local celebration and appreciation of books.
Better Know a Made-Up District - Connecticut's 42ndThe Colbert ReportS5
Connecticut's 42nd District is located in the middle of the River Styx and is represented by Brad Pitt's character from "Fight Club."
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