A Burden's Burden

  • Season 1, Ep 2
  • 04/14/1999

In order to teach responsibility, Flatpoint High's health teacher gives each girl a real baby.

Today we're going to be talkingabout reproduction

and its consequences.

In order for you to know whatit's like to take care of a tenpound baby

each of you will be takingcare of

a ten pound baby.

First up: Jerri Blank!

Jerri: But I've had plenty ofbabies!

Just none I've carried tofull term.

Come get the baby, Jerri.

Ugh, I don't understandthe point of this.

The point, Jerri, is for youto learn a valuable lesson.

Which is?

Well if I told you the lessonyou wouldn't be learning it

I'd be teaching it.

Alright, moving right along:P - O - V - E - R - T - Y,poverty.

(Bell rings)

Jerri, where's it going tosleep?

Jerri: Sleep?

Yeah, what are you going to feedit?

Jerri: Feed it?

How much is it worth?

Jerri: Seventy G's on the blackmarket, twice that if the eyesstay blue.

Onyx: So, look who's a singlemother.

I think it's wonderful thatCoach Wolf is giving awayinfants

to you people.

Rub some vitamin E into itsskull; helps close fontanel.

Jerri: That's good to know.

You can learn more at thelibrary.

Jerri: I'll go there now.

(Laughing)Oh that's a good one.

Oh listen, take a hike, bubbles,here comes my old lady.

Alright? I'll check ya later.

Tammi: Hi Jerri.

Hey there, Copperhead. What'dyou bring the baby for, huh?

Tammi: What do you mean?

I thought you and I were havinglunch today.

Tammi: What am I supposed to dowith the baby?

I was hoping on some uh, someJerri time, you know what I'msaying?

Tammi: Not really. Listen,Jerri, can you take Diz for me?

I've got gym next period.

Jerri: Look, Simi and I arehanging out next period. Ok?

We're gonna play some Liar'sPoker.

Tammi: But I thought we weresupposed to share theresponsibility-

Jerri: No, I don't- hey, look, Idon't wanna fight. I dont wannafight about this, alright?

Subject closed. Hmm? Alright?Hmm?

Tammi: I'm gonna go get somemilk for the baby.

What, and I don't get thirsty?Huh?


Where were you?

Tammi: What?

I'll repeat the question: Whattook you so long?

Tammi: Uh, I was getting-

Don't lie to me, Tammi. I sawyou right over there, talking toJimmy Goosey.

Tammi: I just said 'Hi'.

Oh, really? Is that how they say'Hi' in Whoreville?

Tammi: Jerri, I don't wanna havelunch. I'm just gonna take Dizand go for a walk.

Jerri: Yeah?

You're taking my child nowhere.Clean it up.

(Baby crying)

Tammi: What?

I said, clean it up.

Tammi: You are frightening thebaby.

Oh for crying out loud, will youshut that thing up?!

I'm sorry. Hmm? So sorry, huh?Look at my little lamb.

What are you so frightenedabout, huh? I'd never hit you.I'd never hit ya. Huh?

I just got this temper, ya see?I get so frustrated when yadon't listen.

Huh? Ya understand? Huh? I needyou to say that you understand.

Tammi: I understand.

Alright, Just leave the babywith Daddy and go get yourselffixed up, alright?

Come on.


What are ya looking at?!

I am so glad you're here!

Tammi's in there and she came upwith some crazy plot with - KimLuck!

Blackman: Yes, we apprehendedhim at the Tasty Shake. I wasbuying myself a footlong.

Did he, uh, did he say anything?

Oh yes, plenty. But all in thatunintelligible jabber of his.

Jerri: Anyway, uh, Kim Luck andTammi tried selling Dizzy to theuh, to the black market.

I'm so glad you caught him,'cause Tammi's in there now andI think she's high!

She expects me to run off withher! I'm so glad you're here,Principal Blackman.

Jellineck: What's all thecommotion out here?

Blackman: Noblet, Jellineck, I'mglad you got my message.

Noblet: Message?

Tammi: Principal Blackman, thankthe lord you're here! Jerricooked up some crazy plot

with Kim Luck to sell Dizzy tothe black market!

Blackman: I'm sorry, Tammi. Thatstory sounds pretty flimsy thesecond time around.

Noblet, Jellineck - cart themaway.

Blackman: And the baby goes backto mother.

Jerri: I'm thrilled. I'll suremiss Tammi, though. It's a loteasier being a single mother

when I was the father.

Wolf: What's that, Jerri?

Jerri: I was just saying that

it's easier being a singlemother, when I was neithersingle nor the mother.

Wolf: That's the lesson, Jerri.Congratulations.

Nobody's ever learned the lessonby day three.

Blackman: You must beexceptionally unfit formotherhood.

Jerri: I like to think so.

Wolf: Well let's take this babyback and pass him on to someother students

who I hope are as equally unfit.

Jerri: Daddy!

Blackman: Go on home, JerriBlank. You've had a long day.

But one thing strikes me as odd:Why would Tammi call us, ineffect,

alerting us to her evil deed?

Jerri: To taunt you with hercrime?

Blackman: Works for me.Goodnight!