Lights! Camera! Reenaction!

  • Season 1, Ep 2
  • 09/23/2015

When a television show host asks to film a reenactment of one of Dazzle's arrests, Dazzle takes his involvement in the production way too far.

Hey, kid!

Stop it.

Na-na na-na-na!

You can't shoot me!

- I'm underage!- Dazzle, come in.

Bike theft in progressin the southwest alley.

Put your clammy hands togetherfor Moonbeam City's

top sky dancer,Odyssey!

[cheering]

Cool rave, chill buzz,dirty beats.

The only thing that couldruin this vibe

is if I start questioning it.

Uh-oh, I just questioned it.

What if I had a panic attackright now?

That could happen.

Okay, just breathe, relax.

Oh, God.

I need some air!

Society made me this way!

I'm the productof a broken fam--ah!

I'm not high, I swear.

Please don't call the cops.

- Arrest him, Dazzle.- Whew!

You're under arrestfor 13 counts

of whatever you did.

Mama Mia.

That's some spicy justice.

Welcome to Crimezappers.

I'm retired Police SergeantVex Mullery.

Join me as I go waist-deep intothe seedy underbelly of crime

in Moonbeam City.

[overlapping chatter]

Shut your damn mouths!

Vex Mullery is talking!

It's every family's worstnightmare: getting murdered.

But here's the storyof one family pooch

that would be doggoned to seeher masters stabbed to death.

July 17th, 10:30 P.M.

The Petersen family doesn'tknow it,

but a desperate stranger lurks.

Luckily, the family mutt Shastahas a bone to pick

with this boneheaded killer.

[dog snarls]Ow!

(Vex)In the end,the dogged tenacity

of this mangy bitchsaved the day.

[applause]

We could learn a lotfrom Shasta.

You're doggone right we could.

Ah!Vex Mullery!

Crimezappersis my favorite show!

Didn't you ever getmy fan letters

or the death threatsafter you didn't respond

to my fan letters?

Thank you, son,but I'm not here for you.

I'm here for him.

Would you let us reenactthe bust

of that bicycle-thieving punkfor our program?

Oh, that was nothing.

We're all heroeswhen you think about it.

But yes, my answer's yes,and yes, I will gladly serve

as your on-settechnical consultant, yes.

Or you don't have to comeat all.

No, I insist.Just send a car for me.

I was involvedin the arrest too.

Yeah, that's cute, Legs,but it's Dazzle we want.

(Hudson)[as Dazzle]Sorry it had to be this way.

Also, you should knowI'm your father.

Daddy,forgive me stealing bike.

Keep going!It's just locusts!

Should we chase after the set?

No.The desert is now our set.

[intense electronic music]

(Dazzle)All right, Hudson!

When we cut the wheel loose,you run like hell...

because it will crush you!

Why is it so big?

It's forced perspective.

It's gonna look normal sizeon camera.

Now, crew,this goes without saying,

but please do not fightthe rebels during the take.

I know you're in a violentstruggle for your homeland,

but I need your hustle, okay?

Lights, camera, actualizethe events from the script!

[screams]

[groans]

Oh, no!Money!

I mean, Zephyr,I didn't mean to crush you.

No feelings of hardness,my friend.

Your reenactment is only workof value I ever produce.

Promise me two things.[coughs]

You will finishthis reenactment,

and you will bring Zephyrback to life!

Unless they discover a curefor crushed body,

I can only promise the first.

This true.

There's blood in the streets.

Don't forget to buy.

[groans]

All right, let's clear thiscorpse and go right away.

Big smiles.Why aren't we shooting?

[gunfire]

Zephyr is dead!

The cruelest among us will nowfill the power vacuum!

Stop shooting each other!

Save your ammo for the rebels!

[helicopter blades whirring]

[gunfire]

Hudson!Jump on the Novak-cam!

(Vex)April 5th, 10:00 P.M.

These candy kids raida liquor store

like it's a candy store,

but they have no ideawhat's in store for them.

[gun clicks]

Oh, yoo-hoo!

[hip-hop music]

♪ Listen up, punk,let me tell you what's up ♪

♪ You're gonna eat crapand that's what's up ♪

♪ You may thinkthat stealing is cool ♪

♪ But it's not as coolas ku-u-ung fuuuuu-woo ♪

Eat crap!