East/West Bowl Rap

  • Season 3, Ep 302
  • 09/25/2013

Two women prepare to fight outside a club, and the Valets wonder why people mess with the Batmans.

- HEY, JADINKALAGE?

- YEAH, L'CARPETRON?

- CHECK OUT LEOZ.

I WONDER WHATHE'S DREAMING ABOUT?

- HE IS PROBABLY DREAMINGABOUT WHAT WE IS GONNA DO

TO THE TEAM FROM THE WEST.

- I WONDER.

- ♪ T'VARIUSNESS

♪ T-KING FOR SHORT

♪ I'M A BAD MAMMA-JAMMA

♪ AND AN AWFUL SPORT

- ♪ SMOOCHIE-WALLACE

♪ YOU CAN CALL ME TYROIL

♪ RAPPIN' UP RUSHESLIKE ALUMINUM FOIL ♪

- ♪ MCCRINGLEBERRY

♪ I'M VERY SCARY

♪ IF I GOT THE BALLYOU BEST BE WARY ♪

- ♪ L'CARPETRON DOOKMARRIOT

♪ I LOVE THE BALL SO MUCHI WANNA MARRY IT ♪

all: ♪ 'CAUSE THE EASTERNSCHOOL'S ♪

♪ GONNA BEAT THE FOOLSFROM THE WEST ♪

- OH, YEAH.

all: ♪ WHERE FOOTBALL'SCONCERNED ♪

♪ WE GONNA SHOW YOUTHAT WE ARE THE BEST ♪

- ♪ WE ARE THE BEST

- ♪ I'M IBRAHIM MOIZOOS

♪ AND MY RHYMES ARE CLEANLIKE MY NAME IS DR. SEUSS ♪

- ♪ PROBINCRUZ III

♪ THEY CALL ME "THE PROBE"

♪ I CAN INTERCEPT BALLS

♪ WITH MY EARLOBE

- ♪ SHOWER-HANDEL

♪ THAT'S MY NAME

♪ POWER CANDLE SOUNDS THE SAME

- ♪ WITH JACKMERIUS - ♪ D'SQUARIUS

- ♪ AND JAVARISON-LAMAR

- ♪ FLACKAWAXA PLAYS SAX AND

♪ D'MARCUS PLAYS GUITAR

all:♪ 'CAUSE THE EASTERN SCHOOL'S

♪ GONNA BEAT THE FOOLSFROM THE WEST ♪

- ♪ OKAY

♪ DON'T YOU KNOW

all:♪ WHERE FOOTBALL'S CONCERNED

♪ WE GONNA SHOW YOUTHAT WE ARE THE BEST ♪

- ♪ INDEEDY, WE ARE THE BEST

- [gasps]

IT MUST HAVE BEENALL A DREAM.

[gasps]

OR WAS IT?

- OH, IT'S ON.

- ♪ WHAT'S UP, Y'ALL

♪ IT'S JEFFERSPIN

♪ I'M THE BIG LEFT TACKLE

♪ GONNA HELP US WIN

- ♪ X-WING AT ALYSSIUSNESS

♪ I'LL USE MY FORCETO GIVE THE EAST DISTRESS ♪

- ♪ ALGERNON-SPLATTER'SWHERE IT'S AT ♪

♪ RUNNING THROUGH DEFENDERSAND PADDING MY STATS ♪

- ♪ Y'ALL KNOW ME

♪ I'M WASHINGBEARD

♪ CATCH SO MANY BALLSIT'S A LITTLE WEIRD ♪

all: ♪ 'CAUSE YOU KNOW WE GONNAWIN AGAINST THE EAST ♪

- ♪ LISTEN WHAT WE SAID

all: ♪ WE GONNA GETTHE MOST POINTS ♪

♪ AND THEY GONNA GET THE LEAST

- ♪ JUST TRYIN' TO CALM THEVOICES RUNNING THROUGH MY HEAD ♪

- ♪ BACK IT UP

♪ IT'S HARDUNKACHUD

♪ I HIT THE Q.B. AND MAKEA NOISE LIKE THUD ♪

- ♪ CAN'T BLOCK MEAND ALL OF THAT JAZZ ♪

♪ 'CAUSE Y'ALL DON'T WANT NONEOF THIS OZAMATAZZ ♪

- ♪ THE PLAYER...

- ♪ TJ AJ

- ♪ FORMERLY KNOWN...

- [screeches]

[construction noises]

- ♪ LOUITH

- ♪ AS MOUSECOP

- ♪ AND DONKEY TEETH

- ♪ I'M THE TOUCHDOWN MAN

♪ THAT'S GRUNDLEPLINTH

♪ BUT Y'ALL AIN'T READY

♪ FOR MY MAN DAN SMITH

- ♪ YO YO

♪ SMITH COMMA DANIEL

♪ OTHER KICKERS IN THE LEAGUEDON'T HOLD A CANDLE ♪

♪ CHEERLEADERS UP ONMY CHOCOLATE CROTCH ♪

♪ THOSE GODDAMNBABY COCKER SPANIEL ♪

♪ B.Y.U.WHY YOU BE ♪

♪ MAD 'CAUSE THE BITCHESWANNA GET WITH ME ♪

♪ GOT SWISHER SWEETSAND DUTCHIES ♪

♪ ROLLIN' ONNO OTHER TEAM CAN TOUCH THESE ♪

♪ HITTIN' FIELD GOALSBLUNTED ♪

♪ BEEN DRUNK WHEN I PUNTED

♪ BEEN LIKE A HUNDRED TIMES

♪ THAT I ALREADY DONE IT

♪ OH, [bleep]

♪ SEE THESE HATERSTHOUGHT I WAS PLAYIN' ♪

♪ STAYIN' AWAY FROM MY FACES

♪ WITH ALL THE BULL[bleep]THEY SAYIN' ♪

♪ BUT JUST REMEMBERWHO YOU TAUNTIN' ♪

♪ WHEN YOU TOSSIN'THOSE GAUNTLETS ♪

♪ I'M DAN SMITH AND THE WEST ISGETTIN' ROWDY LIKE MONSTERS ♪

[all cheer]

- I'M TELLIN' YOU, VINNY,

NO DISRESPECT TO YOURDEARLY DEPARTED GRANDMOTHER,

BUT MY AUNT MAKESA PASTA--FORGET ABOUT IT.

- YOUR AUNT LIVESIN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD?

SEEMS KINDA DANGEROUS.

- WHAT ARE YOU,MCGRUFF THE CRIME DOG?

COME ON, WE'RE LATE ALREADY.

- HEY, UH, YOU--YOU SAYSHE LIVES IN THIS HOUSE HERE?

- [bleep]'S THE MATTERWITH YOU, VINNY?

YOU'RE BEING RUDE.LET'S GO.

- I'M NOT TRYINGTO BE RUDE, IT'S--

THE LIGHTS ARE OFF.

MAYBE WE--LET'S COME BACK LATER. Y--

- HEY, SHE'S PROBABLYJUST TAKIN' A NAP

AFTER THE HUGE MEALSHE JUST MADE FOR US.

GO IN.

- I DON'T HAVE THE KEY.

YOU SHOULD GO IN FIRST.

- OH, MARRONE, SHE SAIDSHE'D LEAVE IT OPEN.

VINNY, STOP BEINGSUCH A STRUNZ AND GET IN THERE.

- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

- SURPRISE.

- WELCOME TO METTA WORLD NEWS.

IN SPORTS,I'D RATHER EAT MY HAND

THAN TO HAVE MY PENIS CUT OFF.

I'D REALLY HAVE TO BELIEVESOMEONE WAS GONNA CUT IT OFF,

BUT IF I DID,I COULD DEFINITELY EAT MY HAND.

I KNOW BECAUSEI HAD A DREAM WHERE I DID IT.

IT WAS HORRIBLE.

I ATE MY WHOLE HAND.

NOW THAT'S WHAT YOU CALL"RHETORIC."

WELL, THAT WRAPS UP METTA WORLD NEWS

FOR THIS WEDNESDAY,APRIL HURRICANE SLIPKNOT.

I'M METTA WORLD PEACE.

GOOD NIGHT.

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