When she's forced to do schoolwork that includes reading actual books, Gene plots to take Billie down.
- Sorry if this book report'snot very good.
I've been up lateworking hard on it,
but then also "School Ties"came on,
and that's one ofmy favorite movies,
which is surprising,'cause I don't like
anything school-related, butI love Jewish-themed movies.
- No, that's okay.
- Why are you interruptingthe book report?
- Oh, I didn't realize you...
Are you reading thatoff the page?
- Yes!- Oh. Sorry.
It was so conversational,I thought we were just talking.
- Okay, well now I lostmy frickin' spot.
- I'm sorry.- Just let me...
All flustered now.[clears throat]
I did my book report on
"Fear and Loathingin Las Vegas."
I liked it slash it wasconfusing as [bleep].
The book startswith Raoul Duke
behind the wheelof a convertible.
He realizes the drugs he took earlier are kicking in.
- They're kicking in,the drugs, yes?
- [garbled mumbling]
- Next to him sits his 300-pound attorney,
Dr. Gonzo, aka The Fat Samoan.
- They were headed to Vegas from L.A.
- Let's go to Vegas.
- And there were bats and stuff.
- I see two more.- I see bats.
- It's real. It's real.
- They're on their way to Vegas,
but they got derailed
because Lenny is like,
"Curley, what's up with your hand?"
- I like to keep my handnice and soft
so I can touch my girlfriend.
Aw, that feels gross.
Wait, who's Lennie?
- Me--sometimes, uh,Raoul Duke
calls himself Lennie.
- Got it.
- So they took off.
- This plane's going fast.
- I don't think planeswere invented yet.
- They continued their journey.
- Cow, cow, cow, cow.
- That's not a cow.That's a tire.
- It was much easier for them to get to Vegas
by taking the good ol' Mississippi River.
- We gotta catch thatriverboat.
- I agree with you.
- You catch anything?
- Just this minnow.
You want it?
- Nice minnow!
- And by that time, Dr. Gonzo was a free man.
- Gene!- Sup?
- Okay.Gimme that.
- Okay.- And get off my desk.
- Jeez. Demanding.
You with the stupid glassesin the front?
- How many of the booksthat I gave you did you read?
'Cause it feels like you readparts of all of them
without noticingthey were different,
and wove them into one story.
- Okay, CSI Miami,if you say so.
Or--any of the CSI'swould work.
- Didn't you notice thatthe names kept changing?
- Yeah, but I thoughtthey were, like, nicknames.
Like, how some people call me"Genie" or "Goosetits."
Really wish that onewould go away.
- How is thateven possible?
- Oh, guys said that my titslooked like goose beaks.
- I wonder if anyone'sever died
dying these tennis ballstheir classic
neon green color.
- That's how I wanna go,you know?
Like, doing somethinghella weird
slash sports related.
- I want to goin a fire tragedy.
- Speaking of, I needyour help.
We need to get Billie fired.
- No! Why?I mean, why, and--
- But, I thought youliked her.
- No, she's like,freakin' lame.
With, like, a capital "F"and a lowercase "L,"
'cause you only capitalize,like,
the first letterof the sentence.
- You do?
- Yeah, it's a thing.- You do?
- Why do I know that?
- I mean, I'm impressed.
I mean, it seems likeshe's taught you
some really cool things.
- Yeah, it's, like,the worst.
- What if you just,you know,
kept her around in caseshe has a crush
on one of your friends?
Mm...I don't haveany friends.
- I thought I wasyour friend.
[knock at door]- Gene?
- Don't come in,we're naked!
- No you're not, you're bothwearing terrible clothes.
- Maybe that's just whatour bare skin looks like.
- Oh, hi Billie.I didn't see you there.
- Hello, Chet.
- She knows I'm here.I can't stand it.
- I can hear you.[clears throat]
Uh, Gene, did you startyour book report?
Capital "D."Lowercase "one."
- You read a whole bookand already wrote your report?
- Yeah.I read "The Grapes Gatsby."
- Do you mean"The Great Gatsby?"
- Okay.Well, what's it about?
It's about rich people.- Uh-huh.
- Who are in love.- Mm-hmm.
- And it's directedby Baz Luhrmann.
- It's directed by?- It's written by Baz Luhrmann.
- And the music for the bookwas done by Jay Z,
and it stars Leo DiCaps,
old Spider-Man,and Borat's wife.
- Okay, so you watchedthe movie.
You didn't read the book.
- They made a movieout of that?
- Come on.We'll start over.
We'll pick a new book.Come on.
- And what's gonna happenif I don't?
- Uh, major consequences.
- Major consequences.- Yeah.
- That sounds like a Disneymovie about the Army.
- "Major Consequences,"starring Zack and Cody!
They would be in it!- They would.
- Totally they would star in it!- Yeah!
- Hey, Chet, do you wantto go to my guesthouse
where all my underwear isand pick a new book?
- Yes, yes,a thousand times, yes.
Guess your plans have changed.