Old Habits - New Beginnings

  • Season 1, Ep 1
  • 04/07/1999

Eager to fit in, 46-year-old freshman Jerri Blank makes drugs for the school's most popular girl.

AND I'M A 46-YEAR-OLDHIGH SCHOOL FRESHMAN.

FOR 32 YEARS I WAS ATEEN-AGE RUNAWAY.

I WAS A BOOZER, A USER,AND A LOSER.

MY FRIENDS WERE DEALERS,CONS AND 18-CARAT PIMPS.

BUT NOW,I'M OUT OF JAIL,

PICKING UP MY LIFE EXACTLYWHERE I LEFT OFF.

I'M BACK IN HIG SCHOOL,LIVING AT HOME,

AND DISCOVERING ALL SORTS OFTHINGS ABOUT MY BODY.

I'M FINDING OUT THAT THOUGHTHE FACES HAVE CHANGED,

THE HASSLES AREJUST THE SAME.

( arrrrrghhhh )

THE HOT FRUIT ?

MAKES MY LIPS NUMB.

THAT'S THE SAME BOWLI MIXED THE GLINT IN !

( buzzing )

( deep slow voice )OKAY, LISTEN, PAUL.

WE'RE ALL AT A PARTY,

WE'RE HAVING AREALLY GOOD TIME,

( normal voice )IT'S JUST YOU AND MEAND THE TURTLE... RIGHT ?

( distorted )GIVE ME THE TURTLE

VERY LONG DAY,GIVE ME THE TURTLE...

OKAY,

PARTY'S OVER, ALRIGHT ?

I WANT YOU TO GIVE METHE TURTLE, ALRIGHT...

YOU DON'T KNOWWHAT YOU'RE DOING.

GIMME MY TURTLE.

GIVE IT TO ME,GIVE ME MY TURTLE.

OH, LEAVE THEMALONE, JERRI.

THEY'RE JUST BLOWING OFFA LITTLE GRIEF.

SHELLY !

SHELLY !

GIVE ME THE TURTLE !

SHELLY !!!

SHELLY !!!

FORE !

THAT WAS ODD.

SHELLY !

OH MY GOD !

SHELLY !

OHHHH MY... !!

WHAT HAVE THEY DONE ?!

WHAT HAVE I DONE ?!

GET OUT OF MY WAY !

OHHH... OHHH SHELLY.

FOR REASONS I'DRATHER NOT SAY,

THIS IS BITTERLY...

IRONIC.

WHAT A HEAVY PRICETO PAY FOR POPULARITY.

THE DOWNES LOST A CHILDAND I LOST A TURTLE.

WHICH IS AGREATER LOSS ?

I DON'T KNOW.

BUT I DO KNOWONE THING,

COME THIS MONDAY MORNING,

EVERYONE AT THIS SCHOOLWILL HAVE PITY ON ME,

AND THAT'S GOT TO BEWORTH SOMETHING, RIGHT ?

IT'S WORTH ALL THE WHISKEYIN A DRUNKARD'S DREAM, JERRI.

BECAUSE NO ONE CAN EVERTAKE THAT PITY AWAY.

YOU'VE EARNED IT.

YEAH, YEAH.

YOU'RE A VERY SPECIAL PERSON,YOU KNOW THAT ?

YES, YOU ARE.

YOU'RE A JOYTO BE AROUND,

YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL... INSIDE,

ALL YOU NEEDTO DO TO FIT IN...

YOU JUST NEED TODIG DEEP INSIDE

AND FIND OUT WHAT MAKES YOU UNIQUE.

JUST DIG AROUND, LIKEA BADGER IN A TRASH CAN.

A-HA, HA..

YES !

AND THEN JUST GOWITH WHAT YOU KNOW.

"GO WITH WHAT YOU KNOW."

YES, GO WITH WHAT YOU KNOW.

ALL RIGHT NOW ?

OKAY, YOU RUN ALONG,I GOT WORK TO DO.

LOCK THAT DOORON THE WAY OUT.

SHELLY !

HOW'S MY FAVORITELITTLE TURTLE ?

COME HERE,AHHHH, SHELLY...

I THINK MR. JELLINECKWAS RIGHT.

I ONLY WISH I KNEWWHAT I HAD TO OFFER.

OH BABIES,I LOVE YOU SHELLY.

YOU'RE THE ONLY ONEI CAN TALK TO.

I WOULD JUST DIE IF ANYTHINGEVER, EVER HAPPENED TO YOU.

LET'S GO GET YOU A BADGE,BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT ?

IT'S "SHELLY FOR PRESIDENT" !

HA, HA, HA !

CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT TYPE OFLOSER PARTY SHE'LL HAVE ?

( in Jerri's voice)"HEY GUYS,BRING HOT FRUIT."

( Brittany)GOOD JOKE, POPPY !

MY GOD, WE SHOULD GOJUST TO HAVE A GOOD LAUGH.

OH, HI JERRI.

OH... HI.

GOSH, THAT'SA NICE OUTFIT.

WHERE'D YOU GET IT ?

I GOT IT ATTHE COMFORT ZONE.

OHHH, REALLY ?

WELL, YOU CAN'T TELL.

WHY CAN'T WEJUST BE FRIENDS ?

BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE YOUAND PEOPLE LIKE US

ARE NEVER FRIENDS.

( Brittany )SHE REALLY THINKS WE'RE GOING TOBE FRIENDS WITH HER ?

( Jerri & Jellineck )JUST GO WITH WHAT YOU KNOW.

WHO WANTS TO GOTO A COCK FIGHT ?

I'LL DRIVE !

A COCK FIGHT ?

( Cody ) I DON'T KNOW.I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

HEY DON'T YOUGIRLS HATE IT

WHEN AIR GETS TRAPPEDIN THIS REGION ?

NO ?

I CAN MAKE DRUGS.

OH REALLY, JERRI ?

IS THAT A FACT ?

I COULD WHIP UPA BATCH TONIGHTWITH MY EYES CLOSED.

IT WOULD MAKE YOU TRIPYOUR TIGHT LITTLE ASS OFF.

OKAY, JERRI.

WHY DON'TYOU DO THAT

AND BRING IT TOSCHOOL TOMORROW,AND UH...

WE'LL JUST SEE.

ALRIGHTY,WE'LL JUST SEE.

OH, AND POPPY,

I SUGGEST YOU PACKA LITTLE BAG BECAUSE...

TOMORROW YOU'RE GOING ONTHE TRIP OF YOUR LIFE.

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