• Season 3, Ep 7
  • 03/30/2016

The girls have a whirlwind night on the town after subletting both of their apartments to tourists.


It's like we'rereally camping.

Even the wind feelsreal, right?

The wind's real.

It just feels like we're notin "the shitty."

If we could see the stars,this would be so...

(car horn honking...)



I used to love sleepoverswhen I was a kid.

The first time I ever sawany sex stuff

was at my friend AminaEltreebee's birthday party.

Did she... do itright in front of you?


We watched "Fear."

Mark Wahlberg, Reese Witherspoonon a roller coaster, he's like--

He's fingering her.What?

He's fingering her.


And then we allthought we had to pee,

but I think everyone wasjust really horny.

I guess I...

Still confusethat now?Yeah!

I was sleeping over atGina Pizzollini's house.


Wake up in the middleof the night,

her stepdad is watchingus sleep in his undies.

Stop it.

Eating lasagna.

I just pretended to be asleepuntil he was finished.

It was so violating.

What do you mean,"until he was finished"?

Oh, finishedthe lasagna.

But still, it wascreepy, you know?

The suburbs, there's likesome "American Beauty" shit

going onevery corner.

(tent flapping loudly)Whoa.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.Holy shit!

Hold down the base!

(tent ripping)

(car horns honking,tires screeching)

(glass breaking)

(tires screeching,loud crash)

Oh, shit!

(car horns honking)(woman screaming)

Oh... shit.

(many car horns honking)

Ab, look-- My security.(laughing)

Jesus, Ilana.

Gingershave souls!

No, I knowthey do, dude.

That isBlake Griffin!

He plays forthe N... B...


Oh, my God,no way!

We just met and really hit itoff, he's so sweet.

Oh, my God.And he smells so good.

I bet he does.

I bet he'd be a stampin my sexual passport,

'cause you know,I've never been with

someone over 6'5".Someone over 6'5",

I know!Exactly.

Oh.This is huge.

You know, listen, I'mnot gonna leave you here.

What if I make thisa threesome?

(phone alert)

I mean...One second.

You know, I really pictured itjust us first, experimenting,

but to have a dickaround, I'm down.

I don't think it takes awayanything from our friendship.

I've just been texting with mysubletter, it's not a big deal.

Hold up.

You have a hot piece alreadyin your apartment

who's obviouslyobsessed with you?

We have been texting, like,texts that could be sexts.

Also, he touchedmy nipple.

You should go homeand satisfy your bon appétit!

You know what?

I am gonna go, 'cause Ihaven't had sex in a while,

and also,this place is, like...

Really makingme horny.

This plan rules.Love you, bitch.

Love you.

Ilana, also, don't forgetto stretch!

You got it.

(toilet flushing)

(indistinctlyreading out loud)


Oh, God.

Wait, wait,wait, wait, wait.

I didn't do thatin there.

I just, like, went in andthen came right back out,

so, like,that wasn't me.

Okay, fine.

I'm clearly not gonnachange your mind.

No, it's fine.

You know what--I did do it.

Yeah, I stunkup the whole place.

Shit all over theplace, you'll see.

Totally me.

That's how I do!

I'm not washing my hands,because I didn't--

I didn't even go--I'm gonna hold it.

Get lost.

Good evening,good sir.

We are withthe Hernandez party.


(whistles loudly)

♪ 'Kay friends

♪ I'm out here gettingthis money ♪

♪ You a lame with no moneychasing all these honeys ♪

♪ I'm a CEO babyI'm so hood rich ♪

♪ Hair done nails didgot 'em saying yes bitch ♪

♪ Yes bitchyes bitch ♪

♪ Every time I go offthey like they like yes bitch ♪

♪ Yes bitchyes bitch ♪

♪ Every time I go off they likethey like ♪

♪ Hold up whenI walk up to the function ♪

♪ Looking real sexy because I'mjust trying to bump shit ♪

♪ I got all the dudesquestioning me ♪

♪ Where I come from

♪ I think that it's obvious

♪ That all these niggaswant some ♪

♪ I'm out heregetting this money ♪

♪ You a lame with no moneychasing all these honeys ♪

♪ I'm a CEO babyI'm hood rich ♪

♪ Hair done nails done

♪ Yes bitch(They like they like) ♪

♪ Yes bitchyes bitch ♪

♪ Every time I go off they likeyes bitch ♪

♪ Yes bitchyes bitch ♪

♪ Every time I go offthey like ♪

♪ Yes bitch(They like they like) ♪

♪ Yeah

♪ New York to L.A.

♪ What you gonna think

♪ They likethey like ♪♪