Welcome to The Daily Show with Trevor Noah.
I am not Trevor Noah.
I am Jordan Klepper.
Our guest tonightfrom the hit Netflix show,
Marvel's Luke Cage, Mike Colter is here, everybody.
-(cheers and applause)-Yes.
So, obviously,I'm subbing in for Trevor,
who, unfortunately,is out sick this evening,
not from watchingtoo much debate last night,
but instead, apparently,one of his dimples exploded.
Doctors say he will make a fulland very handsome recovery.
But in, in all seriousness,Trevor, if you're watching,
I will treat your desk and yourshow with the utmost respect
and dignity, so that everythingis in good shape
when you come back from whatyou're actually suffering from,
which is your heroic battlewith penis farting syndrome.
Guys, please,I know it sounds funny,
but penis fartingis anything but.
It's a very real disease
where, surprisingly,your penis farts.
It's no laughing matter.
It's stage IV penis farting,
which is what Trevor Noah has.
But while we're on the subjectof a white guy trying to fill
a black man's job,let's talk about Donald Trump.
-(cheers and applause)-Yeah.
Now, last night,he debated Hillary Clinton
for the third and final time,and the stakes were very high
for the tangerinesnatch-grabber.
In the last few weekshe's plummeted in the polls,
he's lost endorsementsfrom Republican leaders,
and now when he shouts"Here, boy,"
Chris Christie hardlyever comes.
The point is, Trump needed thisdebate to turn things around.
He had to appear presidential,dignified, unflappable,
prepared,and respectful toward women.
Let's see how he did.
John Podesta said some horriblethings about you,
and boy, was he right.
Well, let me translate thatif I can, Chris, because, um...
-You can't.-The fact is...
No puppet, no puppet.
-It's pretty clear.-You're the puppet.
-Give me a break.-And on the day...
What we want to dois to replenish
-Such a nasty woman.-the Social Security trust fund.
Is it just meor did that guy nail it?
Actually, you know whatreally bothered me
about the whole"nasty woman" comment?
The way Trump said it
as if he expects us allto agree with him.
It's like when you're in a taxiand the driver tells you
a disgusting racist joke andexpects you to just laugh along,
and you're like,"Dude, that's inappropriate.
I wrote that joke;you're telling it wrong."
But let's turn to last night'sbiggest moment,
when Donald Trump tolddemocracy,
"It's not me, it's you."
TV REPORTER: Debate night stunner:
Donald Trump refused to say
he'll accept the election results.
I will tell you at the time.
I'll keep you in suspense.
That was a disastrous answer.
Yeah, it was trulyextraordinary.
I've never heard anythinglike that.
I think it wasa terrible mistake.
He decided he wantedto get on the crazy train
and take it off the rails.
Stunning,it's absolutely stunning.
Not a total shocker.
You think a guywith his track record
of taking no for an answer
is going to care about theconsent of the electorate?
I mean, he's gonna move on itlike a bitch.
And here's how you know Trumpcrossed a line.
If you ever wondered howa TV newsman would say,
"Are you (bleep) me?"
Well, Chris Wallace gave ita pretty good shot.
But, sir, there is a traditionin this country,
in fact one of the pridesof this country,
is the peaceful transitionof power,
and that no matter how hardfought a campaign is,
that at the end of the campaign,
that the loser concedesto the winner.
Chris Wallace, tradition?
There stopped being Americanpresidential traditions
the moment Donald Trumpstepped onto that escalator.
You think President Trump's
gonna pardon a turkeyon Thanksgiving?
He's gonna stop it, frisk it,
waterboard its wifeand children,
and then feed its carcass toSecretary of Labor Scott Baio.
Now, while somecampaign traditions end,
some new ones spring up.
And a new tradition this year
is that after Donald Trump sayssomething crazy and regrettable,
all the people who work for himgo on TV
and pretend likeit didn't happen.
Donald Trump will acceptthe results of the election
because he's going to winthe election,
so they'll be easy to accept.
The thing of it is, is he didn'tsay that he wouldn't
accept the outcome, he said, "Iwill let you know at the time."
I think he'll accept the resultsof the election.
We have to make sure thatour elections are run properly.
Whatever the outcome is,he'll accept those...
he'll accept that outcome.
That's totally notwhat Trump said.
He didn't say he will accept it.
He said "we'll see."
"We'll see" is the oppositeof saying "yes."
If someone proposes to youand you say, "We'll see,"
none of your friendsare gonna say,
"Oh, my God, Tiffany's engaged."
If anything, they say,
I think Jordan and Tiffanyjust broke up.
I mean, Jason... I mean,Jason and Tiffany just broke up.
Jason's the lonely one.
Luckily, Trump took a day
to realize the gravityof his comments.
So, this afternoon he clarified.
I will totally acceptthe results
of this great and historic
if I win.
Yeah. I knew it. I knew it.
Trump is a totallyreasonable guy.
As long as he getsexactly what he wants
100% of the time.
I think we canall relate to that.
But refusing to acceptthe election results
is different thananything Trump has done so far,
because in the year that I'vebeen working with Trevor Noah,
I've learned a few thingsabout Africa.
Like, that it's not a country.
But here's something elsethat Trevor told me
just today from his death bed.
As messed upas the United States is,
a lot of places in Africalook to us as an example.
Because, at least up until now,
we haven't done thingslike this.
Kenya continuesits descent into chaos
following a disputedpresidential election there.
The opposition party claims the incumbent president
stole the election.
REPORTER: Violence erupted in Ivory Coast
when incumbent Laurent Gbagbo refused to cede power
to Alassane Ouattara after a disputed presidential election.
Come on, America.
It's not enoughthat you take our music
and our blood diamonds,
now you want our violentpolitical transitions, too?
Sometimes they getwritten in advance
and it's too late to change 'em.
And it's not...it's not only in Africa.
I mean, if you want to seehow disputed election results
can really tear a nation apart,
don't forgetthis shocking footage.
REPORTER: After accepting the award for Best Female Video,
Taylor Swift was interrupted by rapper Kanye West,
who objected to her victory.
I-I'm really happy for you,I'm-a let you finish,
but Beyoncé had oneof the best videos of all time.
One of the best videosof all time.
That feud is still going on.
Even orange juiceand toothpaste are like,
"Guys, learn to live together."