In Defense of Vuvuzelas

August 11, 2016 - Mike Birbiglia 08/11/2016 Views: 33,000

When Roy Wood Jr. and Jordan Klepper call out South Africa for popularizing vuvuzelas, Trevor defends his country against the haters. (2:39)

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let'scheck in on the, uh,

2016 Summer Games.

-Mother... -And we're back.How about these games?

It... The sports have beenterrific, Jordan,

but we cannot deny the X factor,

and that has beenthe Brazilian crowds.

REPORTER: The Brazilian crowds have so much energy

and so much volume, even in events

where silence is customary.

It's thrown some of the athletes in table tennis...

(chuckles)That's unbelievable, man.

I know.People excited by table tennis--

I can't believe it, either.

I-I justfeel like this, Jordan--

if I'm clappingfor your boring-ass sport,

you need to appreciate it.

No one's gonna beclapping for you

when you get back to yourday job at the coffee shop.

Hell, that's what you getwith these big international

sporting events-- lots of noise.

You remember the World Cupin South Africa--

-all those vuvuzelas going off?-Oh, God, that was...

Oh, it was awful. Just listeningto those South Africans

drone on and on.

Little did I know I'd soonmake a career out of that.

Trevor?

-Thanks, Jordan.-Yeah.

Let's move on.So, last...

Actually, you know what,let's not move on, no.

No, let's not move on, no.

-(cheering, applause)-I'm not gonna move on.

Actually, no. You know why...No, no, you know why?

Wait, you know why,you know why?

Actually, this vuvuzela thing

has been stuck up my assfor a while, all right?

Okay, wait, that came out wrong.That came out wrong.

No, I'll explain, I'll explain.

Like, everyone blames SouthAfrica. "Oh, the vuvuzelas.

Those vuvuze..." Do you thinkall our soccer games

sounded like that'before the World Cup?

Is that what you think that?Like, we turned on the TV

and it was like...(imitates vuvuzelas)

And we were like, "Oh, this isa good game, yeah, a good game.

I love that sound." No!

You think we enjoy the soundof a trillion bees farting?

You think we enjoy that?

No, because we never had that.

We were responsiblevuvuzela blowers

before the restof the world came.

There were maybe,like, four or five people

at every single game. Every gameyou'd go to in South Africa,

there's, like, five guysblowing vuvuzelas.

Then the rest of the world showsup to South Africa for the Cup

and then they're like,"Oh, cool, let's get drunk

and blow this forever."(imitates vuvuzela)

Yeah. And then,surprise, surprise, once again,

white peopleare appropriating black music.

That's what happened there.That's what happened there.

-(cheering, applause)-And this is what happens

every single time. Every timeforeigners come to Africa,

they (bleep) our (bleep) up,and then they leave and be like,

"Man, those guysmessed everything up."

No! No.

You always do this. This is whatthe world does to us.

You took Simba out of the jungle

and you put himin a Hollywood movie.

Now he's married to somewhite woman in Beverly Hills

and the animals have no king.

Come home, Simba, we need you.