But the craziest thing Ifound out at school is that some
white people say the N word.
And not even, like, racist whitepeople,
just your regular, wholesome,pumpkin spice lovers, like...
I'm hanging out with my friendJimmy one day
watching thebasketball game.
Point guard is coming up thecourt, does a in-and-out move,
loses with the ballout-of-bounds.
Jimmy just snaps, like, "Oh, myGod.
But I couldn't even be mad,because we said it
at the same time.
Like, I wanted to be upset,
but he used it in the rightcontext, man.
I was just sitting there amazed,like, "Well, damn.
"Jimmy sure knows how to use his'niggas.'
Like--he must have UrbanDictionary'd this, man."
Now Ialso have gay friends,
and I'matell you something.
If you don't have some gayfriends already,
you need to get you some,because gay people are
unstoppable right now.
Like, I'm telling you.
It seems like they get paradesonce a month.
They getting laws passed.
They almost got Chick-Fil-A openon Sundays.
Like, I was--that lemonade, oh,my...
That lemonade is heavenly,right?
Like, it's like it's made fromBeyoncé's sweat, man.
Like, look, it's two groups ofpeople
you got to get in good with.
It's two groups of people thatrun the world.
The first group are gay people.
The second group are Jewishpeople.
So if I ever get into legaltrouble, my lawyer is gonna be
the gayest Jew I could findLike, I'm telling you,
he gonna come in the courtroomwith a nice rainbow yarmulke,
tailored Versace suit--and notjust a regular one.
Like, a suit from the closetVersace came out of.
Like, he--he won't play thepart, man.
Just walk in the courtroom allhappy and energetic, like,
"Well, shalom, Your Honor.Like..."
"Like, this is my client.
My name is Devonte Bernstein."Like, oh.
The prosecution needs a recess,man.
Didn't know he was gettingDevonte.