Military Draft for Women

May 3, 2016 - Josh King 05/03/2016 Views: 10,021

California Representative Duncan Hunter's tongue-in-cheek bill demanding that women be made eligible for the military draft receives unexpected support in Congress. (5:02)

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Now, we've been talkingabout American politics,

and sometimes it's really weird,

you know, even when it doesn'tinvolve Ted Cruz's face.

-(laughter)-Um... here's an example.

Right now, only men have toregister for the military draft.

Like, women don't.

The draft is basically likethe world's worst nightclub.

You know, there's no women,you can't leave,

and there's definitely goingto be a fight.

But recently, a congressmannamed Duncan Hunter

introduced a billthat would force women

to register for the draft.

Now the interesting thing is,

he didn't actually want womenin the draft.

He just heard people debatingabout it, and he wanted to prove

that no one would actually voteon a bill

to make it happen,so he introduced that bill.

Which, can we take a secondto acknowledge, is ludicrous.

Like, there's no...

Do voters know thattheir representatives

spend timeon this frivolous (bleep)?

Like, there are politiciansout there, campaigning,

they're like,"I'm going to Washington

to proposesarcastic legislation."

And people are like,"Are you being sarcastic now?"

"No. I'm gonna actuallyhelp you... idiots."

Like... there's real peopledoing it.

And here's the weirdest thingabout it.

This fake bill that DuncanHunter proposed sarcastically,

it actually passed.

NEWSMAN: What Hunter found out is that many of his colleagues

in the House Armed Services Committee

thought that requiring women to register for the draft

is actually a good idea.

While you may be offering thisas a "gotcha" amendment,

I would suggest that,um, there's great merit

in recognizing that each of ushave an obligation

to be willingto serve our country...

in time of war.

The HouseArmed Services Committee

backed Congressman Duncan Hunter's amendment

by a 32-to-30 vote.


I love this.

They called his bluff so hard.

Can you imagineif this is actually how women

end up getting drafted?

'Cause we'll never rememberthat it started this way, right?

It makes me wonder how manythings in American history

we don't rememberthe details of.

Like maybe with Abraham Lincoln,we don't know the full story.

Maybe he wasbeing sarcastic. You know?

Maybe someone was like,"Hey, Abe,

you should treatyour slaves better,"

and he was like, "Ha! Why don'twe just set them all free!"

"That's a great idea!"

"Yeah, I guess."


But look, I understandthat a lot of Americans

are uneasy with the ideaof women serving in combat,

because American soldiersare expected to adhere

to grueling physical standards.

You have to runthousands of miles,

you have to be ableto scale walls

and hold your buddy's headin your lap

while you scream, "No...!"

There's so muchthat goes into it.

And let's be honest; in general,men are stronger than women.

You know? That's not sexist,it's just true.

If anyone is sexist,it's nature. Yeah.

Nature's the onewho was handing stuff out,

and was like, "Okay, men,you get the big muscles,

"and you'll orgasmevery time you have sex.

"Hell, sometimes you'lleven orgasm just by accident.

"That's how easyit's gonna be for you.

"Uh, for the ladies, you getto push an entire human being

"out of your vagina.

-Have a good day."-(laughter)

But, uh...

even if men aregenerally stronger than women,

there are still plenty of women

who are physicallyup to the task of combat.

And there's no reason whythey shouldn't be able to fight.

I mean,if you asked me to choose

between Ronda Rouseyor Sheldon from Big Bang

to fight for me,I would be like, "Mmm,

"I choose-- oh, wait, she'salready ripped him in half.

"Oh, look at that.Oh, he's already...

he's already gone."

An argument that I don't get

is that womenshouldn't be in combat

because it's somehowtoo hard on the men?

Bringing womeninto combat troops

is inevitably gonna changeunit cohesiveness,

because sex is inevitable.

If you introduce a womeninto it,

you just introduceextraneous things,

such as sexual attraction...

All these 20-year-oldsand they have wives at home

and they're there and there'ssome beautiful soldier with them

in the pup tent, whatdo they expect's gonna happen?

-(laughter) -No, whatdo you think is gonna happen?

You think peopleare gonna be flirting

in the middle of a war?

Guys are shooting...(imitates automatic gunfire)

They're everywhere!Give me some fire!

They're everywhere!

So, uh,you come around here often?

Yeah? I haven't...haven't seen you before.

Give me some...!

Here's the real point.It doesn't matter

whether anyone thinks women should serve in combat,

because there already are womenalready serving in combat.

Especially in other countriesin the world, like Israel,

Canada, Germany.

And American soldiershave been fighting and dying

in "unofficial" combat rolesin Iraq and Afghanistan.

Not to mention, uh,if you want to get rid of ISIS,

women might actually beour best bet.

ISIS are actually afraidof women fighters,

that they actually would runaway from the women fighters,

because they believe thatif they get killed by a woman,

they won't go to Heaven.


I love that idea.

I... I don't knowif it's completely true,

but I love the ideaof ISIS dudes in trucks

just being like,"Today we fight for jihad

"and the glory of...Oh, no! Girls! Girls! Girls!

Run away! Run away!"