Back in Black - Getting Out the Millennial Vote

October 5, 2016 - Mark Duplass 10/05/2016 Views: 120,546

Lewis Black makes the case for millennials to vote in the 2016 election in spite of their lack of enthusiasm for the candidates and difficulties getting to the polls. (4:47)

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When a news storyfalls through the cracks,

our very own Lewis Blackcatches it

with a segmentwe call Back in Black.

-♪ -(cheering, applause)

Well, the electionis only a month away,

and with the fateof the world at stake,

I've been going to church a lot

to pray that a meteorwill hit the earth

and kill us all.


Because I've got no faithin you people.

In 2012, only55% of the electorate

went to the polls.

More Americanssaw Taken 2 that year.

And the whole plotis right there in the title.

Someone gets taken. Again!

But this year, witha decorative hate squash

just steps from the White House,

I thought surely more people

would go out and vote.

Both Republican and Democraticvoters this election season

have said they don't planto vote for either candidate.

Oh, no, I'm not voting at all.I don't like either of 'em.

-REPORTER: Will you be voting?-Uh, no.

I am not voting.

I don't thinkanybody's qualified.

No one is qualified?

Since when has that mattered?

Listen, jerk,this isn't like deciding

not to go to the moviesbecause they all suck.

Fact is, we're gonnahave to see a movie

whether we like it or not.

And that movie's gonna befour years long.

And you better hopeit's not the one that ends

with Trump nuking Wisconsin.

But it's not just apathy

keeping voters from the polls.

It's also laziness,

because, apparently,

voting is too hard.(cries)

It's very hard to get peopleto the polling booth,

because, you know what,it's a lot of trouble.

I'm not voting in 2016

unless it's easy for meto get to the voting polls.


It's too hard.

You want me to go somewhere

and pull a lever?

Why can't I votethe same way I date--

by swiping right on the toilet?

Look, I don't want to hang outin a high school gymnasium.

Well, truth be told,

I'm not even allowedwithin 200 feet of one.

But I fight off the copsand I do my civic duty.

What's it gonna taketo get you people to vote?

Hell, we've gotA-list celebrities

going down on you.

On Tuesday, November 8,

this country will make oneof the most important...

The most important...

The most important decisionsin its history.

You have a chance.

You have an obligation.

To be a part of that decision.



That's not enough?

Or does the Rock needto personally give you

a piggyback to the polls?

Now, most of these adsare the same thing,

just a bunch of celebritiestalking directly to the camera,

telling you to vote.Look at some of the nobodies

they get to shame youinto going to the polls!

(cheering and applause)

Oh, yeah,that's why I'm gonna vote--

because Don Lemon told me to.

I kid, of course.I know that's Bryant Gumbel.


Come on, Millennials!

I know we (bleep)ed things upfor you,

but we were counting on youto fix things,

not finish the job!

Is there nothingyou people care about enough

to get off your ass and vote?

Are you gonna votefor marijuana?

It's on the ballot in November.

Uh, yeah, I am planning on it.

And what about for president?

Are you gonna votefor president?

(chuckles)That's a tough one.

So you thinkyou'll vote for weed

-and not for president?-Yeah.

Recreational legalization'son the ballot.

-Are you gonna go out andvote for that? -Yes, yes, yes.

And are you gonna votefor president as well?

Uh, no.

Why choose?

Why not votefor weed to be president?

At least then, if this countrygoes down in flames,

we'll all geta nice contact high.

On the other hand,if Trump gets elected,

weed's not gonna help.

You're gonna needa (bleep) anesthetic!

And by anesthetic,I mean a suppository

about this bigthat I'm gonna shove up each

and every one of your asses!

(cheering and applause)


so listen, you dip(bleep)s!

Vote, or I'm gonna trackyour asses down!

(cheering and applause)

Back to you, Bryant.