Now, I'm surethat you've noticed--
oh, I hope that you noticed--that I'm all dressed up tonight,
because tonight isour final show of 2016,
and also, because I scheduled
my annual Eyes Wide shut orgyafterwards.
By the way, don't forget,if you're attending,
the password is...(speaking foreign language)
And that's a capital "O."Please don't forget.
Now here at The Daily Show, because we hate ourselves,
we have an annual tradition
of looking backat the year that was.
And 2016 is a yearthat'll stay with us forever.
This is the yearthat started with Zika,
and then went bad.
You realizeif Harambe had lived,
-he would have killed himself.-(laughter)
But let's be honest.2016 wasn't the worst year.
It was only badfor so people.
If we're honest about it, it wasbad for some people, you know.
Like, if you were black, thenthis was a bad year for you.
But for everyone else...
Okay, and if you are Muslim,
it was a bad yearfor you, as well, but for...
And if you are a woman,I can admit, pretty bad.
And if you were fromthe transgender community,
then, as well. You, as well.
Refugees and immigrants,pretty much every...
-But not everyone,but everyone. -(laughter)
Uh, other than that, everyonehad a... had a good year.
Oh, and polar bears.
Polar bears and animalsin general-- really bad year.
-So, yeah, good year all around.-(laughter)
And tonight with the helpof the whole Daily Show team,
we celebrate the end,and the end of 2016.
To kick things off, pleasewelcome Desi Lydic, everybody!
(cheers and applause)
Trevor...Trevor, you're right.
2016 was the stinky endof a baboon's ass.
And if there's one thingit will be remembered for,
it was the year of the breakup.
And we can't talk about breakupswithout mentioning the big one--
when two world powers abandonedall diplomatic efforts
and declared an endto their partnership.
What the hell, Brangelina?!
-Talk about a bombshell!-(laughter)
Although, to be fair,we suspected there was trouble
-when they adopted a lawyerfrom Burbank. -(laughter)
This was probablythe ugliest breakup of the year,
when America decidedto split from decency.
Yeah, I thoughtthose two were going to last,
but then a smooth-talking,copper-plated gargoyle
showed up,and America just lost it.
Hail Trump!Hail our people!
(cheers and applause)
Hey, Trump! Trump all the way!
'Cause black lives don't matter.There ain't no proof.
Donald Trump is your president,every goddamn one of youse.
If you don't like it, too bad.
Yeah, and that video didn't evenshow the worst part.
That guy broughta tuna sandwich on the plane.
-(laughter)-Like I said, no decency.
But you can arguethat the breakup
that started it all was Brexit,
which sounds a lot less likea geopolitical catastrophe
and more like a gluten-freetoddler in Brooklyn.
"Brexit, what did I sayabout focaccia?
That's your sister.You be nice to her."
By the way, "Brexit" isa pretty dignified name
for such an embarrassing event.
I mean, why don't I get that?
Why don't the newspapers call it"Des Parcher,"
instead of "Local WomanKicked Out of Wine Bar."
Also,I wasn't selling drugs, okay?
-I was trading themfor their cash. -(laughter)
-You need help, Desi.-(laughter)
For more news, we turnto Hasan Minhaj, everybody.
-Hasan... Minhaj!-(cheers and applause)
-Yeah!-Hasan, man what...?
What were your thoughtson the year we call 2016?
2016 was awesome, man!
Here are my three biggest2016 headlines.
Coming in at number three...
Could you believe HillaryClinton sold weapons to ISIS?
How did she manageto send bombs to ISIS
and bomb her own campaign hereat home?
Boom. Give it to me.
-Up top, right? Yup.-(laughter)
-Hasan, that story wasn't real.-Totally.
-It was unreal. -(laughter)
But not as unrealas my number two story
when reporters dug up an oldquote where Donald Trump said,
and I quote, "If I were to run,I'd run as a Republican.
They're the dumbest groupof voters in the country."
Hasan, Hasan, Hasan, I'm gonnacut you off right there.
That news storyis also false, man.
I don't thinkyour sources are credible.
-They are incredible, Trevor.-(laughter)
Especially my number one storyof 2016--
Pope Francis himselfendorsing Donald Trump.
All of those news storiesare completely fake.
You're talkingabout fake news, man.
Oh, yeah,all this stuff is made up.
These stories are fakerthan my Air Gordons.
-(laughter) -And sure,they melt when it rains,
but no one cares,just like no one cares
about whether the newsis real or fake.
Look at Facebook.Just before the election,
the top-five fake news storieswere more popular
than the top-fivereal news stories.
Yeah, but, Hasan,I don't understand.
If fake news is everywhere now,then how do we fight back?
Fight back?Embrace it, Trevor.
Come January, Donald Trumpis gonna be our president.
The next four years are gonna beso (bleep) up,
You make a good point.
-You make a good point.-Because the real news...
the real newswill actually be unbelievable.
Hasan Minhaj, everybody.
You make a good point,my friend. Thank you so much.
-(cheering, applause)-Thank you so much.
For the year in sports, let'sturn to Roy Wood Jr., everybody.
-Roy Wood Jr. in the house!-(cheering, applause)
-What's up, Roy?-What's up, man?
Trevor, this is the year
that everything was political,and sports was no exception.
Let's startwith Colin Kaepernick.
This dude put his asson the line for civil rights,
and he was so good at it.
Like, most of usjust to get notice to a cause,
we have to take to the streetsor block traffic
or join a group textand learn a chant.
Kaepernick just refusedto stand.
That's brilliant.That's a game changer.
Look, look, look.I'm protesting right now.
What are you protesting, Roy?
The-the... black (bleep).I'm fed up.
But it wasn't just Kaepernick.
Even the Super Bowlhalftime show got political.
Beyoncé reminded y'allshe was black,
and some of y'allcouldn't handle it.
Hell, they wereso shell-shocked,
they had to call insome emergency whiteness
to offset Beyoncé's blackness.
242, uh, bring in the Coldplay.Emergency Coldplay.
This is not a drill.
Next time Bruno Mars doesthe Super Bowl,
I can guarantee you, man,if he gets too black,
they're gonna hit a button,Mitt Romney gonna pop out
of the floor with a tambourine.
Yeah, but, Roy, but, Roy,all right,
you can't tell me thatevery single sports story
was political this year.
Even my team, Trevor--the Cubs, Trevor.
Nate Silver said they had thesame chance of winning as Trump.
Then the Cubs won, andI couldn't even enjoy myself,
'cause all I was thinking aboutwas, "Yay! The Cubs... Oh, God,
Trump's the president."
Look, I get thatpolitics and sports
are never gonna betotally separate,
but if it's gonna bein my sport,
then it's got to bein all the sports.
When Michael Phelps getsin the pool,
I want to see him doingthe black-stroke.
I don't know what that is,but... sounds right.
Tennis players-- look at tennis.
All they do is yell, anyway.You may as well say something
and make it count.
Bring back the McRib!
Whoa-whoa-whoa.Why is the McRib political?
Trevor, pork isa very divisive meat.
I don't even...Roy Wood Jr., everybody.
-Roy Wood Jr.-(cheering, applause)
I don't even know...I don't know why the McRib,
Roy, has to come into it.
Now... 2016 was anotherbanner year for the Internet.
Unfortunately,that banner usually said,
(Russian accent):"You've been hacked, comrade."
But to look back at some ofthe biggest social media trends
of 2016, we turned to our seniorsocial media correspondent,
Ronny Chieng, everybody!
-Thanks, Trevor. Thanks, Trevor.-What's up, Ronny?
2016 was the year ofthe stupid Internet challenge.
Let's start with the biggestone-- the Mannequin Challenge.
Yeah, the challengeof not moving
while someone takesa video of you.
Congratulations, idiots, youjust invented the photograph.
How did thislazy-ass flash mob start?
Was it like,"Hey, guys, hey, guys,
"let's find a wayfor people with no talent
"to get famouson the Internet, okay?
Trust me, you don't have to movefor this one."
That's how (bleep)this year was.
Standing still for ten secondswithout crying
is now an official challenge.
The worst part?This mannequin crap
wasn't even the dumbestchallenge of the year.
Oh, no. That award goesto the Backpack Challenge.
Kids walking down hallways
having backpacks thrownat their heads?
That's not a challenge,that's high school, all right?
Yeah, it happened to meevery day.
-I didn't train once.-(laughter)
And finally,the viral Internet phenomenon
that isthe Water Bottle Challenge.
Oh, I got it!
That last video wasfrom a high school talent show.
-(laughter)-I know. Look at the reaction.
Every dance troupe theremust have been like,
"What the (bleep)?I've been training for a year!"
By the way, you know where thattalent show did not take place?
-(laughter, groans)-Exactly. Yeah.
'Cause right now Flint is like,"Hey, how about flipping
"some of those bottles this way.
"Yeah, because here, every dayis a Water Bottle Challenge,
you flipping (bleep)!"
In fact... in fact, from now on,there is only one person
who is allowed to doany challenge.
And I don't know his name,but he's from Brazil.
-(laughter, applause)-Yeah. That's right.
See? That's viral.
That's viral.But the rest of you,
enough with theseeasy attention-seeking
-Internet challenges, please!-No, Ronny, no, Ronny,
I'm sorry,I feel like you're hating, man.
The Water Bottle Challengeis real. That's har...
It's not easy.Here, I'll give you a bottle.
Here. I've gota bottle of water here.
You try to do it.It's not easy.
-What, are you challenging meright now? -I'm challenging you
-to do the Water BottleChallenge. -Oh, yeah,
-I'll do it, yeah. -Do it,come on. -(cheering, applause)
-Do the Water BottleChallenge, Ronny. -Oh. Oh.
-Do it! -Look at me!Look how hard this is.
Oh, my God, am I gonna bea Internet superstar
-if I nail this? Oh, my God.-Do it, let's see, do it.
Oh, oh, it's a Water BottleChallenge. Whoa!
-Oh. -There, you see? You see?-(audience groans)
Wait, let me...give me one more cha...
-one more-one more try. -It'sa lot harder than it seems.
Okay, stop-stop giving mepressure. Okay, one sec.
-Boom! Yeah! That's right!-(cheering, applause)
Were you filming that?Did you film that?
Post that (bleep) right now,we're going viral! Yeah!
We're all very happy for you,Ronny Chieng.