I've been thinkingabout this, too.
is the worst holidayin the world.
I've done the research.
I already know.
Let me tell you something.
Mother's Dayis the second-most celebrated
holiday in the world.
Christmas is first.
So, it's...That means it's Jesus,
then your mama.
You know where Father's Dayfall at?
I can't thinkof 18 other holidays.
Do you realize
Halloween is number six?
So, that meansghosts and goblins
go before fathers?
Arbor Day is number 13.
I don't even knowwhat that is.
I just know it comebefore me.
Columbus Day is number 16.
Celebrating Columbus Day
is like celebrating somebodyfinding money in your house.
Where you get that $50 from?
I discovered itin your kitchen.
Father's... and I...and it's mothers' fault,
it's mothers' fault,'cause see,
when Mother's Day come around,
fathers goin their pocket deep.
Go in their pocket deep.
Hey, I want to get my mamasomething, you...
cash that money out.
You know what mothers do?
"Hey, I want to getDaddy something.
"Well, go in that car,there's some change
in my little cup holderin there."
Don't nobody even have a sale
for Father's Day--who has a Father's Day sale?
Mother's Day sale,it's like 30 of them.
Everybody haveMother's Day sale.
Don't nobody haveno Father's Day sale.
Who has M--Father's Day sale?
The Dollar Store.
That's how you get water hose
and jumper cablesfor Father's--
And the store's notice,'cause now, the store got
a little trick for fathers.
They make little packages,where they, it's a little box.
It give you suspenders,socks, and a shirt.
And you know what kids do?
They give you that stuffthroughout the year.
They give that shirtfor Father's Day,
them socks for your birthday,
and then they just randomlygive you something else
as, you know,they think about it.
It's crazy.Father's Day sucks.
And I'm a father.
I did all this workto be a father,
for it to suck.