Up-and-Coming Neighborhood

Babysitting Forest Whitaker Season 1, Ep 8 03/20/2012 Views: 31,271

An eccentric landlord tries to reassure some prospective tenants about the safety and comfort of the neighborhood. (3:07)

- WHAT ARE WE DOINGIN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD?

- COME ON, THIS PLACEIS IN OUR PRICE RANGE.

BESIDES, I MEAN,PEOPLE SAY THE NEIGHBORHOOD'S

TURNING AROUND.- WHO THE [bleep] THERE!

IT'S JORDAN AND KEIRA.

WE'RE HERE TO VIEWTHE APARTMENT AT 3:00.

- [laughs]OH [bleep], MY BAD.

I HAD THIS HOMELESS CRACKHEADTRYING TO SET UP HOUSE

IN HERE YESTERDAY.ALMOST HAD TO BEAT HIS ASS, MAN.

BUT Y'ALL AIN'T GOTNOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT,

'CAUSE ANYBODYTRY TO GET UP IN HERE,

I WILL MURDER THEM.

LET ME GIVEY'ALL THE TOUR.

ALL RIGHT, SO WE GOTTHESE VINTAGE WINDOWS.

THEY BEEN HERE AS LONG ASTHE BUILDING'S BEEN HERE.

[car approaching]OH [bleep]!

GET AWAY FROM THE WINDOW!GET AWAY FROM THE WINDOW!

HEY! HEY!

YOU, [bleep]!I SEE YOU OUT THERE!

YOU GET OUT THAT CAR,AND I WILL MURDER YOU!

[engine revving,tires squeal]

THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT!

SO ROLL ON,YOU LITTLE [bleep]!

ROLL ON!

MY NEPHEW, CRAIG.

HE A GOOD KID.

HE SMOKE CRACK, THOUGH.

GO AHEAD AND...

JUST, UH, JUST IN CASEHE COME BACK.

- UH...- AND I FILED THE SERIAL NUMBER

OFF THAT,SO IF YOU GOTTA SHOOT ANYBODY,

JUST MAKE SURETO WIPE YOUR FINGERPRINTS

OFF THIS [bleep].

WELL, COME ON, Y'ALL.I AIN'T GONNA BITE YOU.

BRAND-NEW CUPBOARDS.

I PUT THE CONTACT PAPERIN MYSELF HERE

SO Y'ALL DON'T GET NO GERMS.[car approaching]

GET DOWN!

[hip-hop music playing outside]

NAH, AIN'T NO THING.

I THOUGHT CRAIGWAS ROLLING BACK.

I AIN'T GETTING SHOTBY THIS [bleep] TWICE, DAMN.

WHILE WE DOWN HERE,

CHECK THIS OUT.

ORIGINAL HARDWOOD FLOOR

FROM WHEN THE BUILDINGWAS BUILT.

CHECK OUTTHIS GRAIN, BROTHER.

WHOO!THAT IS CRAFTSMANSHIP!

ANYWAY, COME ON.

[grunting]

NOW, THIS PAINTIS ALL NEW, AND--

AW [bleep].

OKAY, THIS--THIS HAPPENEDAFTER I HAD PAINTED.

FUNNY STORY, WE GOT CRACKHEADSIN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD,

AND ONE OF THEM LIVEDRIGHT NEXT DOOR HERE, RIGHT?

AND ONE DAY, HE WAS SMOKINGCRACK, JUST WENT LOONEY TUNES

AND MISTOOK HIS 9MM--

THAT'S A PISTOL, HONEY--FOR THE REMOTE CONTROL.

BUT DON'T WORRY, YOU AIN'TNEVER GONNA SEE HIM AGAIN.

[intense]AIN'T NOBODY EVER...

GONNA SEE HIM...

AGAIN.

PLUS, I'M GONNAPUT A FANCY LITTLE HOOK IN THERE

AND TURN ITINTO A HAT RACK.

NO LET'S TAKE A LOOKAT THIS BEDROOM.

WHAT THE [bleep]?

- I FOUND THIS PLACE FIRST!

- FOUND IT?MAN, I OWN THIS PLACE!

CAN Y'ALL GIVE ME A SECOND?

AAH![grunts, impacts]

YOU GONNA BITE ME, [bleep]?

I WILL CUT YOUWITH MY SWORD CANE!

AAH!

- [shuddering]

- SO THAT'S GONNA BE FIRST MONTHAND LAST MONTH'S RENT

AND ONE-MONTHSECURITY DEPOSIT.

I'LL GETTHE PAPERWORK STARTED.

- OKAY, BABY,LET'S HIT THIS ROCK REAL QUICK.

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