The Cherry Sisters' Terrible Vaudeville Act

S**t Shows Season 4, Ep 11 12/06/2016 Views: 4,896

Five sisters discover that putting on horrible morality plays is more lucrative than farming. (2:52)

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- I'm Jenny Slate.

And today we are going to talkabout the Cherry Sisters,

the worst act on vaudeville...

ever...ever.

The very worst.

[mellow folk music]

Our story begins in the 1890s.

The Cherry Sisters

were living on a farm in Iowa

that had been left to them.

Their names were Ella,

Elizabeth, Effie,

Addie, and Jessie.

They had a brother, Nathan,

and he just peaced out.

He was like, "Uh, actually, definitely not.

I'm not, like, even doing this."

And all the sisters were like,

"Boo! What the hell?"

Or "heck," actually,

'cause they were very prim.

They were like,"Our farm's gonna fail.

"We truly don't get how to do this,

and we don't have enough money to operate the farm."

"Let's just try to get money from that by--

for that--am I right?"

And they were all like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Let's put on a show."

So they, like,rented out a theater.

These sisters were just, like, "We're putting on a play.

"Uh, the play is going to consist of

"a lot of segments that are boring

"and also will make you feel nervous

about what you're doing in your life."

So it would be like,

there's a young lady just, like, free in the world.

How dangerous.

And then a Don Juan comes out, and he's like,

"Ah! I want you for sex," you know?

And then a gypsy woman would come out,

and she'd be like, "Don't do it!

Don't, 'cause he's gonna take your morality."

And, like, that was, like,the whole thing.

And it was, like, baffling to everyone.

They were like, "Ha-ha.

"I can't believe these ladies showed up

and, like, even are here and, like, did this."

After they were done, they were so shocked,

because they were like, "This is an ass-load of money."

They made $250.

So the Cherry Sisters, they were like,

"We should take this on the road."

Even though it wasreally, really, really bad.

So they went on the road all across Iowa.

They did a show in Cedar Rapids.

One of their songs was called "Corn Juice."

♪ Corn Juice, let me tell you about it ♪

[laughter]- It was just like,

"What are you talking about?

"You definitely can't make juice out of corn.

Like, I've had it."

- Yeah. - "There's no juice in there."

"5, 6, 7, 8."

♪ If you're lost and you're corn ♪

♪ I will find juice

both: ♪ Corn after juice

- Beautiful.both: [giggling]

- Everyone's like, "You suck! Ha-ha-ha."

- [chortling]