We're coming to you fromthe University of Pennsylvania's
Annenberg Center, which means
The Daily Show is officiallyin Philadelphia, baby!
We're here! We made it here!
Week two, week twoof the conventions.
Now, uh,last week was Cleveland,
and this week we're clearlyin the manliest city in America,
uh, because everything in thiscity is about men. Everything.
It's the City of Brotherly Love.
Home of the Founding Fathers.
Yeah. Boyz II Men.
Yeah. Like, even-eventhe football team is the Eagles,
the only animalthat has male pattern baldness,
the only one.
I mean,on top of the City Hall Tower,
I saw a statue of William Pennwith his dick out.
He just has it out.
It looked like he was peeingon Philadelphia.
And here's what's so greatabout all of this:
all this masculinity,
and this city made history
by nominatingAmerica's first major party
female presidential candidate!
-(cheering and applause)-Which is so exciting!
And to chat more about it,we have a guest tonight,
the chairmanof Hillary Clinton's campaign,
John Podesta, will be joiningus, which is really exciting.
So, to get straight into it,last night was the start
of the DemocraticNational Convention.
Uh, they had bigger speakersthan Xzibit in a stretch Hummer.
I mean, they had Cory Booker,they had Elizabeth Warren,
uh, Elijah Cummings, and,of course, Senator Demi Lovato.
Uh... Eva Longoria was there,Sarah Silverman.
And this was just night one!Night one.
At this rate, on Thursday,what, they're gonna bring out,
like, Abraham Lincoln.He's gonna come out
and be like,"I came back from the dead
"to vote for Hillary Clinton
"and to see the restof that play I was watching.
This time I want to sitin the back."
So many stars, so many stars.
And, uh, just like...just when you were like,
"You know,how can they top all this?
How can they...how can they improve on this?"
is when they brought inthe supernova,
Today, I wake up every morning
in a house that was builtby slaves.
And-and I watch my daughters,
two beautiful, intelligentblack young women,
playing with their dogson the White House lawn.
I-I feel like the people cheeredearly on the slaves part.
They were excited.
"I grew up in a house builtby slaves."
And they were just,"I live in a house..." "Yay!"
"...built by slaves." "Oh, no.
I felt bad for the Republicanslast night,
because, whatever your politics,you have to admit these days
they just can't bringthat kind of star power.
They don't havea Michelle Obama.
They just have a Michelle Obamatribute act, you know?
What-what was...what was really amazing,
what is really amazingabout last night
is that it was almost a disasterfor the Democrats.
For most of the day,it seemed like the party
was gonna rip itself apartat the seams
because the day startedlike this.
REPORTER: A revolt in the Democratic Party.
REPORTER 2: Democratic National Committee Chairwoman
Debbie Wasserman Schultz, forced to resign
amid a massive e-mail leak showing DNC staffers
favoring Hillary Clinton over Bernie Sanders
during the Democratic primary.
REPORTER 3: The abrupt resignation comes after
an e-mail hacking scandal at the DNC.
Another e-mail scandal?
Oh, the Democrats get upto more (bleep) with e-mails
than a Nigerian prince.Like, what the hell?
Now, if you... if youhaven't caught it in the news,
this is what happened.Someone hacked the DNC,
possibly the Russians,leaking 19,000 of their e-mails.
Now, fortunately,there were no nudes,
but the private bits that wereexposed included messages
of party officialsplotting against Bernie Sanders
during the primaries.
So in the wake of Hillary'sprivate server controversy,
clearly Democrats have a problemmanaging their e-mail.
Fortunately, Jordan Klepperand Hasan Minhaj have a plan.
KLEPPER: Democratic convention day one,
Hasan and I teamed up to help prevent Democrats
from repeating their electronic mistakes.
It's hard to secure the e-mails,you know? It really is.
I think cyber security's gonnabe one of the hottest issues
that faces the next president.
-Do you have a cell phone?-Uh, yeah. Yeah, I-I do.
Can I see this? So...
I think it doesn't reflect wellon the Democratic Party.
Can I see your cell phonereal quick?
(gasps)Oh, my God!
-Let me get a Whiz without.-Sure.
-Do you have a cell phone?-Uh, yeah, yeah, I do.
Uh, okay, cool. This is it?All right.
Hey, man, are you with the DNC?
Thanks, guys. Good job.
And, uh, P.S., Hasanwas arrested after that piece.
And Jordan was givena stern warning.
Now... now, the Democrats...
the Democrats respondedto this leak by asking
DNC ChairDebbie Wasserman Schultz
to step the (bleep) out of here.
Uh, but the damage... the damagewas already done, you know.
Bernie Sanders supporterswent crazy.
The DNC couldn't do anythingto calm them down.
They apologized to Bernie.
They apologizedto his supporters.
Then they even asked Bernieto talk to his own supporters,
which is a good plan becauseif Bernie fans would listen
to anyone,they would listen to him.
We have got to electHillary Clinton and Tim Kaine.
This is the real worldthat we live in.
Man, you got to loveBernie Sanders.
He spent the last year
teaching people to dreamthe impossible dream:
universal health care, trillionin infrastructure, free college,
all paid forwith historic tax hikes,
and now in a room full of thepeople who love those ideas
he's coming out likea disillusioned Peter Pan.
You know, he's just like,"Clap all you want.
"Tinker Bell's not coming back.
This is real life."
And what's even crazier to me
is that his own fansare booing him.
"We love you, Bernie!
We'd follow you anywhere!"
"I think we should votefor Hillary."
"(bleep) you, old man!"
Even the birds... even the birds
landing on his podiumhave changed their tune.
Like, what the hell is going on?
All day long,
the Bernie camp,
you know, the Bernie or Bust camp,
they were marching around Philly
and down at City Hall, the Best (bleep) News Team
was there to ask just how serious
the extreme Bernie fans were.
WOOD: Ronny and I headed to Philly City Hall
to see if Bernie's plea had changed the minds
of his most hard-core supporters.
So, you agree with Berniethat you got to do
whatever it takes to stop Trump?
Which means also votingfor Hillary?
Ronny, so yeah, Ronny,let me explain this
-again to you, Ronny.-Cool.
-I'm not voting for Donald Trumpor Hillary Clinton. -Okay, okay.
Can you explain to me standingup without doing yoga?
-Thanks.-Oh, sure, yeah.
Voting for Hillary is a voteto stop Trump,
which is what Bernie wants,right?
-So you'll vote for Hillary?-Absolutely not.
What if I told you that notvoting for Hillary Clinton
will result in a Donald Trumpvictory?
I would not believe what youwere saying to me
and reject it as not eventhe point or the question
that should be being asked.
So, what question shouldbe asked?
The movement is much morethan Bernie Sanders.
So you would supporttaking Bernie down.
If that's what it takes,than that's what it takes.
That's some Game of Thrones (bleep) right there.
Ronny Chieng and Roy Wood Jr.
Thank you so much, guys.
-(applause)-You know, I will say this.
Before-before I came to Philly,I was told two things:
cheesesteaks and booing.
Like, Philly fans are notoriousfor booing anything.
In fact, when we landed inPhilly, the pilot was like,
"Ladies and gentlemen, we'velanded safely in Philadelphia."
And the crowd was like, "Boo!"
And last night at the DNC,
Bernie fans had that exact samePhilly spirit.
Hillary Clinton and Tim Kainewant to build an economy
that works for everyone,not just the people at the top.
(convention audience booing)
Hillary Clinton,because of her...
Well, like most Republicans,
he chooses to reject science.
Openly discriminate against gaysand lesbians.
That's Donald Trump's America.
Okay, can I, can I suggestsomething real quick?
Let me,let me suggest something.
I understand people like booing,
but we need some booing clarity,okay?
You can't give the same booto Hillary
as you do to the discriminationof gay people.
It's not the same thing.
I'll-I'll give an example.
I'll give you an example.
In most parts of Africa,
we have two distinctdifferent types
of expressions from a crowd.
Booing is for an individual.
You boo a person.
If something shocks youor is unbelievable, then you go,
So if someone's onstageand they go,
"People are being robbedevery day,"
-then you're like, "Aah!" -(laughter)
"And I am the one robbing you."
You got to separate themso you know what's happening.
(applause and cheering)
But this is why Michelle Obamais such a superstar.
In the midst of all this chaos,
she stepped into the boos,
and like a reverse Moses,she brought both sides together.
And what happened last nightwas in complete contrast
to what we saw in Cleveland,because it showed
that there's more than one wayto unify people.
You know, the RepublicanConvention united people
in their fear and hatred.
The Democratswere equally shameless,
but in the other direction.
Instead of fearmongering,they were hope mongering.
We must instill hopein every American.
Love and hope.
Our party hears every voice
and empowers every person.
All of us are readyfor an America
that rejects discriminationand embraces diversity.
America remainsa welcoming nation.
One of my favorite sayings--
it's an African saying,and it says,
"If you want to go fast,go alone,
but if you want to go far,go together."
That's true. That's actuallya common African saying,
but it's kind of outdatedsince we got Uber.
-You know, it's, um...-(laughter)
Now, now, when we hang out,we're more like,
"If you want to go soon,
my driver Kevinis three minutes away."
The real test, however,of the party's unity
came at the end of the night
when the Socialist sex symbolhimself got up
onto that stage to speak.
Any objective observerwill conclude
that based on her ideasand her leadership,
Hillary Clinton must become
the next presidentof the United States.
And I am proudto stand with her tonight.
-Thank you all very much.-(applause and cheering)
Wow. Just like that.
Bernie's 2016 run was over.
And it really was a bittersweetmoment for everyone involved,
especially for the liberal wingof the Democratic Party,
some of whomwere actually in tears
as Bernie deliveredhis swan song.
Yeah, there wereso many white women crying,
I thought Pinterest had died.
It really was an emotional day,
which kind of reminds meof another African saying.
(speaking foreign language)
Which translated means,
"These Americans are(bleep) crazy, huh?"