Mitt Romney and Donald Trump's Whirlwind Bromance

Wednesday, November 30, 2016 11/30/2016 Views: 221

Michael Ian Black, Janeane Garofalo and Matt Goldich guess what humiliating things Mitt Romney will have to fess up to in order to join Donald Trump's cabinet. (2:01)

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Once upon a time, Mitt Romneyand his haircut tweeted

about president-electand popular Sunkist soda flavor

Donald Trump "Hitting on marriedwomen? Condoning assault?

"Such vile degradations demeanour wives and daughters

and corruptAmerica's face to the world."

But after a whirlwind bromance

where the pair talked aboutthe secretary of state job

while dining on-- I don't know--probably frog legs

and bald eagle wings,I don't know what they eat--

Romney said this to reporters.

He won the general election.

-Oh.-GAROFALO: Oh.

What a cuck.

-(laughter)-I'm impressed.

You couldn't actually seeTrump's lips moving

where he stuffed his handup Mitt's ass.

"I lost because it's official.

"Mr. Trump is a better personthan me, okay?

"I'm... I'm a big babywho goes poopy in his diaper,

"and Trump is my daddy.

"What the (bleep)do you people want from me?!

"I'm not enough of a monster?

"You want me to go out thereand grab a lady

"in the bathing suit areawhile drunk on caffeine?!

I have no dignity left."

(laughter)

All right, so clearly, clearly,Trump made Romney say all that,

so if he wants to becomesecretary of state,

he has to say that. Comedians,what are some other things

Mitt will have to admitto join Trump's cabinet?

-Janeane.-He will have to reveal

the Mormon who styleshis wigs and murkins.

-HARDWICK: Yes. Points.-(laughter)

Michael Ian Black.

Uh, he'll have to say,

"My carefully cultivated image

"as an elder statesmanof the GOP

"was actuallya tinsel-thin veneer

"I was willingto shove up my own asshole

in order to get a jobwith a man I swore to oppose."

-All right, yeah. I think...-(cheering, applause)

I mean, that's a paraphrasing,but yes, points.