Now, last night,Donald Trump closed the RNC
with his vision of an Americaovercome with crime,
murder, and mayhem.
Uh, he made it seem likewe're all living in the Purge,
when everyone knows thatthat only applies to Florida.
And even though I knowthat we're not living
in a terrifying dystopia,I'm not gonna lie,
the way Trump talks about thisstuff scared me (bleep)less.
Which is actually good,because I've had this thing
where I haven't been able to...
Yeah, it's really weird.Like, when Westerners go
to a third world country,it goes out.
When we come here,it all stays... It's weird.
I don't know how that happens.But, um...
but our correspondents, luckily,have been here all week,
and they can give us an ideaof what's actually going on.
So let's go live nowto Jordan Klepper, everybody!
-Jordan Klepper, who's standingby! -(cheering and applause)
Jordan Klepper,you heard Trump's speech.
What are your thoughts?
Trevor, America is under attackfrom all sides.
Immigrantsare pouring over the border
with the specific goalto murder our children.
Our smart children, too.I mean, like, the good ones.
So I don't know about you,but after that Trump speech,
I'm buying some guns.
Like, a (bleep)load of guns.
whatever will fitin the windowless van I rented.
From now on,I'm arming myself to the teeth,
-and you should, too.-Wow. Okay.
Uh, thanks, Jordan Klepper.We got Ronny Chieng standing by,
everybody. Ronny Chieng,Senior Foreign Correspondent.
Ronny, Ronny,how are you feeling right now?
Trevor, I'm (bleep) terrified,all right?
I heard that some people arearming themselves to the teeth!
To the teeth, Trevor! That's,like, the whole body, okay?
They're arming their head,shoulders, knees, and toes.
-Knees and toes?-Knees and toes!
I have no choice.To protect myself,
I got to get a gun, too.
Uh, but, Ronny,you're an immigrant.
I don't even thinkyou're allowed to buy a gun.
Look, whatever,I'll figure it out, okay?
I'll get one on eBay, Facebook,
Pokémon Go, the black market.
My teeth need to be armed!
All right, thanks-thanks so muchfor that, Ronny.
Uh, let's go to Roy Wood Jr.now, everybody.
Roy Wood Jr. standing by.Uh, Roy,
you're on the groundin Cleveland.
What are you hearing?
I'm hearing unconfirmed reportsthat immigrants
are buying weaponson the black market, Trevor!
In fact, some of them reportedto be saying
they plan to be armedto the teeth in windowless vans!
And so the black communityis out of options.
They've got to come togetherlike the Avengers
and fight back.I mean, I got no choice.
I-I got to arm myselfand my child.
Wow, okay,those are strong statements.
Uh, thanks so much, Roy.Uh, let's go now
to Hasan Minhaj, everybody,who's standing by.
Hasan, you're on the ground.
What can you tell us?
Trevor, I am hearing that theBlack Panthers and the Avengers
have teamed up to come kill ususing child soldiers.
Now, there is only one thingfor me to do.
First things first,I got to get a bunch of guns.
Then I got to go to the mosquewith my family
and just praythat everything turns out okay.
-Trevor! Trevor! -Jor-JordanKlepper coming back in.
-Jordan, what's happeningover there? -Trevor,
a Muslim militia is gatheringtogether in mosques,
I can only assume,to plot an attack of some kind
in conjunction with an armyof child soldiers
hell-bent on helping immigrantseat our children.
Not to mention,my marriage is falling apart.
W-Wait, what? You... Jordan,you've never said anything
-about your marriage.-Well, you never asked!
The point is it's incredible
how much scariereverything is starting to feel,
seemingly overnight, andit's all Donald Trump's fault.
I-I'm so sorry, Jordan.What are you gonna do?
-I'm probably gonna votefor Trump. -Wow.
Thank you, Jordan. Thanksso much for that. Thank you.
Jordan Klepper, everybody,and the rest
of the Daily Show News Team!