Jeff Ross - Enduring Life Under President Trump

October 31, 2016 - Jeff Ross 10/31/2016 Views: 13,472

Four years after Donald Trump is elected president, Jeff Ross reflects on his work in the billionaire's administration and weighs in on the depressing state of comedy. (3:36)

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Somewhere...

(bleep)

Oh, you're-you're still there.

Oh, thank God, thank God you...Thank you for sticking with us.

That means you knowhow important this broadcast is.

Or you haven't figured out howto change the channel to Bravo

to watch The Real Ex-Wives of Donald Trump.

Listen, the point is...

-(fierce yelling)-Oh! Oh!

How dare you wakethe Roastmaster!

(grunts)Jeff Ross, is that you?

Yeah.

What are you doing here, man?

I sleep here.

Oh, man.

What are you doing here?

This is my old studio, Jeff.

This is so crazy, Jeff Ross!

Sit down, sit down, man!

Good to see you!

-Oh, well, sit-sit on the chair,Jeff, sit on the chair. -Oh.

Come on, Jeff!

Jeff Ross!

-Oh, man, I can't believe it.-(sighs)

The Roastmaster General,it's you.

(grunting)

Jeff! What the hell, man?

-What happened to you?-(sighs)

You were working for Trump.

I had a great lifeas RoastMaster General.

Then Trump got electedand he bumped me up

to Secretary of Offense.

I was writing insultsfor his Twitter account,

and... he fired me.

He said I wasn't mean enough.

Oh, man.

What are you doing here?

You're black, are you crazy?

It's dangerous!

Yeah, I-I know, Jeff.

I should have left the countrywhen I had a chance.

I don't understand why you...

why you look so bad,though, man.

What did you do?

I thought as a white comic,you'd have a good time

with no black comediansout there.

Comedy's illegal.

It has to go underground.

You can't write jokes anymore.

Although I'm working on one.

Do you know how white peopledrive all like this,

and black people don't exist?

Well, that's...Yeah, that's tough, man.

Normally, you'd have likea black person to...

-Wow.-Wow. This is crazy, Trevor.

Times are tough.

I don't know what you're doing,but I'm going to a roast later,

-if you want to come.-There's still roasts?

It's a raccoon overan open firepit.

Oh, man, Jeff, I don't knowwhere you've been living.

I've been underground planningthis pirate broadcast,

but you look like you've beenliving a worse life, man.

The worst thingabout living underground

is there's so much disease.

Although, on the bright side,

the rats I (bleep)don't make me wear a condom.

Jeff, you know you don't have tohave sex with rats, right?

(static)

Help.

Help me.

I want to die.

Trevor!

Please, give me your AIDS.

I-I don't... What?

I don't have AIDS, Jeff.

All black people have AIDS now,Trevor.

Get it checked out.

Oh, Jeff, that's a rumor

that theTrump administration spreads.

It's terrible out there, Trevor,it's terrible!

Jeff, you've been livinga tough life, my friend.

I still do comedy.

Matter of fact,Kevin Hart was downtown

at the Comedy Cellar yesterday.

-He's still around?-Yeah.

-He killed...-Oh, wow.

...a human beingand then we ate the guy.

You should have been there, man.

Well, I'm glad I wasn't.

Comedy's over, Trevor,you're wasting your time.

I'm not trying to do comedy,Jeff.

I'm trying to talk to the peopleout there.

They need to knowwhat's happening.

They need to go out and vote.

Vote? For what?

-Food!-We're all dying, Trevor.

Yeah, and that's why the peoplehave got to vote, Jeff.

Trump let all the refugees in,but only the hot ones.

-Have you read his new book?-(Trevor sighs) No.

Mein Kampf is biggerthan Your Kampf?

Oh, Jesus, Jeff.

What's that light?

Oh, calm, calm down, Jeff.

It's just,it's just an ad light.

-We...-Is that the thought police?

No. We-we've got to goto an ad break, Jeff.

We-we'll be right back.

It's an ad, Jeff.It's okay.

Hey, Jeff, look at me.

Hey. It's okay.

I'm so hungry I just want to(bleep) eat your face!