Jon Lovitz - Drug Jokes

Season 1 09/19/11 Views: 47,956

Jon Lovitz describes the exact moment when Charlie Sheen knew it was time to get straight. (0:53)

AND NOW A JOKE.

HOW MUCH BLOWCAN CHARLIE SHEEN DO?

ENOUGH TO KILL"TWO AND A HALF MEN."

[laughter and applause]

I'M KIDDING.THE MAN IS MISUNDERSTOOD.

EIGHT-BALLS OF HEROIN--BAD FOR YOU?

OR AS CHARLIE SEES IT,

THE MOST IMPORTANTMEAL OF THE DAY.

NOW, SURE, THINGSGOT PRETTY CRAZY FOR A WHILE.

HE WAS ALL MIXED UP.

BUT HE KNEW IT WAS TIMETO GET STRAIGHT

WHEN HE PUTHIS DICK IN HIS COKE

AND HIS RAZORIN HIS HOOKER.

AND DID YOU KNOW CHARLIE'S--

ACCORDING TO THE TORAH,HE'S JEWISH?

AND NOT BECAUSEHIS MOTHER'S A JEW,

BUT BECAUSE CBS PAID HIM$50 MILLION

AND HE STILLSUED THE NETWORK.

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