Pumpkin Spice Everything

October 1, 2015 - Ryan Adams 10/01/2015 Views: 57,278

Jordan Klepper, Roy Wood Jr. and Desi Lydic mark the beginning of fall by indulging in seasonal beverages, including the ubiquitous pumpkin spice latte. (4:41)

AS YOU MAY REMEMBER, THIS WEEKPUTIN AND OBAMA MET AT THE U.N.

TO DISCUSS GOING HALFSIES ON ANHBOGO ACCOUNT AND ALSO THE WORLD

STRATEGY FOR DEALING WITH ISIS.

>> DAYS AFTER MEETING WITH OURPRESIDENT, VLADIMIR PUTIN

ORDERED THESE AIR STRIKESIN SYRIA.

>> MOSCOW CLAIMS IT'S TARGETINGISIS STRONGS HOLDS BUT THAT IS

NOT WHERE THOSE BOMBS SEEM TO BEFALLING.

>> CHARGES THAT RUSSIANWARPLANES ARE NOT HITTING ISIS

THERE, BUT FIGHTERS TRAINED ANDARMED BY THE C.I.A.

>> Trevor: JUST AFTER THEBOMBING PUTIN RAN INTO THE ROOM

WEARING GLASSES AND SUSPENDERSSAYING, "DID I DO THAT?"

THAT WOULD BE THE BEST SHOWEVER.

FOR MORE ON THE DEVELOPINGSYRIAN CONFLICT, WE HAVE SENIOR

GEOPOLITICAL CORRESPONDENTJORDAN KLEPPER.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> SO GOOD.

>> Trevor: JORDAN, WHAT AREYOU DRINKING?

>> SORRY, IT'S PUMPKIN SPICELATTE.

>> Trevor: I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

>> SORRY, A PUMPKIN IS LIKE ANATIVE GORD--

>> I KNOW WHAT A PUMPKIN IS.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'REDRINKING IT ON THE SHOW.

I ASKED YOU TO COVER SYRIA.

>> DID SOMETHING HAPPEN INSYRIA.

>> Trevor: ARE YOU BEINGSERIOUS.

WHAT ARE YOU REPORTING ON?

IT'S OCTOBER FIRST, I'VE BEENREPORTING ON THE REAL BIG, REAL

NEWS.

>> PUMPKIN-FLAVORED PRODUCTS AREONCE AGAIN TAKING OVER.

>> PUMPKIN-PALOOZA.

>> SALES OF PUMPKIN SPICEPRODUCTS TOPPED $361 MILLION

LAST YEAR.

>> PUMPKIN SPICE LATTES.

>> PUMPKIN SANDWICHES.

>> PUMPKIN-FLAVORED BEER.>> PUMPKIN MARSHMELLOWS.

>> PUMPKIN-SPICED SAUSAGES ANDFLAVORED VODKA.

>> 40% OF US LIKE PUMPKIN SPICEANYTHING.

>> AND THERE'S ONLY ATHREE-MONTH WINDOW TO FEEL THAT

LOVE.

AFTER THAT IT'S JUST THE GRAYDEATH MARCH OF SPRING AND

SUMMER.

>> Trevor: I DON'T UNDERSTANDTHIS, JORDAN.

SYRIA IS EXPLODING AND YOU'REWASTING TIME ON PUMPKIN SPICE?

>> NO, YOU'RE WASTING TIME.

THE PUMPKIN SPICE IS BLOWING UPNOW.

SYRIA WILL BE BLOWING UP ALLYEAR ROUND.

YOU HAVE EVER HAD A PUMPKINSPICE LATTE IN JUNE?

IT TASTES LIKE CAT PISS.

BUT IN OCTOBER.

MMM-MMM.

IT'S LIKE YOU'RE TONGUINGTHANKSGIVING WHILE

HIGH-FIVING HALLOWEEN.

YOU BETTER GET WITH THE PUMPKINPROGRAM BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT

TO END UP LIKE THIS GUY.

>> LEN GIGANTE TRIED TO START ANATIONAL ANTI-PUMPKIN DAY.

>> WE DON'T EAT CHRISTMAS TREES.

WE SHOULDN'T EAT PUMPKINS.

>> IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT, TOSPEND OCTOBER NOT EATING

PUMPKINS AND SPEND DECEMBER NOTEATING CHRISTMAS TREES.

>> Trevor: THAT DOESN'T MAKESENSE?

>> IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT, ITKIND OF DOES.

>> Trevor: AND WHO WAS THATGUY?

>> ACTUALLY, A FUNNY STORY.

>> THE FORMER HOSTAGE NEGOTIATORFROM CHARLOTTE, NORTH CAROLINA

FEELS HE'S BEING HELD HOSTAGE BYTHE AUTUMNAL SQUASH.

>> Trevor: WOW, A FORMER HOSTAGENEGOTIATOR TURNED ANTI-PUMPKIN

SPICE ACTIVIST.

HOW DID HE END UP THERE?

>> PROBABLY NOT VERY GOOD ATHOSTAGE NEGOTIATION.

>> Trevor: YEAH, RIGHT?

(CROSS-TALKING MOCKINGLY)

BACK TO THE NEWS.

SYRIA.

LET'S GO LIVE TO THE CAPITALWHERE WE CHAT WITH OUR NEW

SENIOR GEOPOLITICALCORRESPONDENT, DESI LYDIC.

>> TREVOR, I'M HERE IN WAR-TORNDAMASCUS WHERE VLADIMIR

PUMPKIN'S AIRSTRIKES --

>> Trevor: I'M SORRY, DID YOUSAY VLADIMIR PUMPKIN?

IS THAT PUMPKIN PATCH EVEN INSYRIA, DESI?

>> NO.

>> Trevpr: WHAT IS HAPPENINGTO MY STAFF?

YOU'RE ALM PUMPKIN SPICEADDICTS.

JORDAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

>> I'M COOL, BRO.

I'M COOL.

>> Trevor: ARE YOU SNORTINGPUMPKIN SPICE?

WHAT IS GOING ON HERE.

ROY, IS ROY WOOD, JR. OUT THERE.

ROY WOOD, JR., PLEASE TELL ME,PLEASE--

OH, NO.

IS THAT A PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE,ROY.

>> BLACK FOLKS DON'T DRINKPUMPKIN.

>> Trevor: THANK GOD.

>> IT'S A SWEET POTATO LATTE.

>> THAT IS GROSS.>> Trevor: THIS IS INSANE.

>> REALLY, TREVOR?

LOOK, YOU KNOW WHAT, TREVOR.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, PUMPKINSPICE COMES BUT ONCE A YEAR,

LIKE CHRISTMAS OR JEWISHCHRISTMAS.

( LAUGHTER )

WE AMERICANS CLING TO THESEFLEETY MOMENTS, NOT KNOWING IF

THAT PUMPKIN SPICE DONUT COULDBE OUR LAST.

I GUESS WHERE YOU COME FROM, YOUDON'T KNOW WHAT SCARCITY IS.

>> Trevor: REALLY?

>> YUP.