Uh, whatdo you guys want to talk about?
Anything interesting happenover the weekend?
Breaking news, a newly surfacedvideo of Donald Trump,
uh, talking about groping women.
The breaking news here on CNN,Donald Trump apologizing
for vulgar comments.
We have more breaking news nowof Republicans turning
against Donald Trump.
Breaking news,Donald Trump just moments ago
in a hotel right herein the St. Louis area
appearing with fourof Bill Clinton's accusers.
Breaking news right now,there are growing calls
for Trump to step down.
Breaking news on a Sunday night,
the debate showdowna short time from now...
-Pussy! -Pussy.-Gucci pussy. -Pussy.
(cheering and applause)
You know, I'll tell you this,
when the historyof American politics is written,
it'll be dividedinto two distinct eras,
before pussy and after pussy.
Because, since Friday,nothing has been the same.
And no one saw this coming.At the end of last week,
we were all waitingfor the debate on Sunday.
I remember, people were like,"Ooh, what's he gonna say
about his tax returns?"
And now we're ina completely different world.
It's almost as if we left workon Friday--
and we all know that we plannedto have a little drink
on Sunday night-- but thenaround 5:00 p.m. on Friday,
the Trump train came into townwith a giant keg of beer,
smashed it on our face, andwe spent the rest of the weekend
drinking and (bleep)-faced.That's what happened to us.
And I know, I knowthat everyone has seen the video
of Trump on the bus already,
but I want us to beon the same page.
So, uh,we're gonna play it again
for our one Amish viewer
who only breaks his Amishnessjust to watch the show.
So this one's for you, Malachi.
REPORTER: The conversation was recorded on a hot microphone
in 2005 in an Access Hollywood bus.
(Tic Tacs clacking)
Before we break down allof the disgusting comments
Trump madeon Billy Bush's bang bus,
can we... can we just analyze"grab them by the pussy"?
Because, honestly, I thoughtabout this hard and long,
I've never heard that phrasein my life.
What kind of persongrabs the pussy?
That doesn't sound pleasurablefor either party involved.
I don't get it.Do you not know ladies?
Like, may-maybe it's...maybe it's a tiny hands thing.
No, like, maybe,maybe he can't hold it
or caress it--he needs to grab it.
Because, for Trump, it's likea baby holding a grapefruit.
You know, people, you...we have to admit this,
Trump has officially brokenalmost every record
of scumbaggery in politics.
Like, the rulesdon't even apply anymore.
Let's be honest, like,we couldn't have even imagined
that these featswould be taking place.
Trump's scandals right now
are like when the firstblack guy joined white sports.
You know,when everything was going on,
people were like, "I had no ideathat was possible! Oh, my God!"
Oh, and-and, by the way,can we talk
about Billy Bush for a second?
Let's-let's talkabout th-this sleazebag.
Uh, I understand, I understand
that everyone has been in thepresence of an unsavory joke,
right? But there's a differencebetween laughing at the jokes
you don't agree withand being an active accomplice.
Because Billy Bush has said thathe didn't agree with Trump--
he was under pressureand so he laughed with him.
Yeah, but that's notwhat it looked like
when you see what he didwhen they got off the bus.
Here, wait, hold on.
How do you fit that much sleazeinto such a short video?
The "Two Girls, One Cup" girlsare like,
"I would not wantto switch places with her."
Trump just told Billy Bush how he forces himself on women,
and at the first opportunity,
Billy puts his pimp hat on and tries to make it happen?
This (bleep) was nuclear,
because Trump alreadyhad few Republicans against him,
but now, even thosewho had been with him
through his anti-Muslim,Mexican and black comments
said enough was enough,
because the Republicanshave won the White House
without those groups,
but there's one groupthey can't do it without--
-the ladies!-(applause and cheering)
We have a 15-year-old daughter,
and if I can't look herin the eye...
I'm a father of three daughters,and I also cringe.
Jeb Bush-- now he tweeted,
"As the grandfatherof two precious girls,
"I find that no apologycan excuse away Donald Trump's
reprehensible commentsdegrading women."
Mitch McConnell."These comments are repugnant
"and unacceptablein any circumstances.
As the fatherof three daughters..."
It's degrading to our women,
to our daughters,our granddaughters.
I love how they feel they need
to use the womenin their families
to justify their outrage.
"As a father of two girls... "
"Well, what if you don't haveany daughters?"
-"Well, as the son of a woman."-(laughter)
"What if you were just raisedby two dads?"
"Oh, well, as a first cousinonce removed of an aunt."
-(laughter) -"What ifyou don't have a family?"
"As someone who has visitedthe Statue of Liberty,
-which is a woman..."-(laughter)
The Trump tape shouldn'toffend you on behalf of females.
It should offend youas a human being, right? And...
(applause and cheering)
And it turns outyou don't even need
to be a human to be offended.
Tic Tac getting in onthe responses to Trump's video.
Trump mentionedthat brand of mints
in the videothat surfaced Friday.
Tic Tac tweetedthat they respect all women,
and find Trump'srecently-revealed
statements and behavior
"completely inappropriateand unacceptable."
I'm sorry! I'm so sorry.
First of all, kudos to Tic Tac.Like, this is insane.
-(applause and cheering)-But you know...
You know your words are badwhen even the candies,
whose only purpose isto help cover up
what comes out of your mouth,say they can't help you.
They're like, "That--we can't even fix that, man.
Don't involve us.Don't involve us."
But here's the geniusof the Trump campaign.
And this is what reallypissed me off this weekend.
He gets caught on the tapeboasting about sexual assault,
and then, they manage to spin itas something much different.
This was locker room talk.
That's what is saidin a locker room.
He was talking about itwith the boys amongst the bus,
um, like the locker room.
-I've heard much worsethan that. -Really?
Much worse than thatin locker rooms, uh, but-but...
-I don't know. That's apretty... -Much worse.
What locker rooms are youhanging out in?
That's a great question.
What locker rooms is Ben Carsonhanging out in?
-(laughter) -No.Think about this for a second.
You can't imagine Ben Carsonin the gym
or participating in any sportthat requires rapid movement.
-(laughter)-Why is he in a locker room?
There's no...Okay, okay. Oh, you know what?
Maybe, maybe he does tai chi.That makes sense.
-(laughter)-That makes sense.
Oh, and this might surprise you,
but he's actuallythe quickest one in the class.
-(laughter) -Everyone calls him"The Flash."
"Slow down, Ben!"
-And he's like, "Catch me..."-(laughter)
-"...if you can..."-(laughter)
Uh, let's-let'swork through this.
Let's work through this.
Two thingsabout that locker room excuse.
Uh, first,they're conflating sex talk
and sexual assault talk,all right?
Trying to makeTrump's comments sound normal
is not somethingthat they're achieving,
'cause, I'm sorry,that is not normal.
There is a big differencebetween saying dirty words
and glorifying non-consensualsexual contact.
Not every guy hasthese conversations.
No. That's a crime.That's a crime.
There is a big difference.
People are like, "Oh, come on.Guys talk dirty."
Yeah, guys talk dirty,
but guys are not all havingconversations
about sexual assault.
It feels like more people arefocused on, "He said 'pussy.'"
It's not about that.
It's about him sayinghe forces himself on women.
You tell me what's worse--a guy who says,
"Uh, last nightI dined with a lovely lady,
"and immediately afterwards,I escorted her back
"to her residence and proceededto caress her genitals
despite her lack of invitation."
-(laughter)-Or-or is this one worse?
"Oh, man, last night, I wasrolling with this bad bitch,
"and I was, 'Yo, you gonnalet me smash that ass?'
"And she said, 'No,'and I was like,
'Okay, no pussy for me.'"
-(laughter)-Which one is worse?
-(cheering, applause)-Which one is worse?
Now, don't get me wrong,don't get me wrong.
Neither of them is ideal,but one of them is crude,
and the otheris against the law.
-(cheering, applause)-There's a big difference.
It's not just, oh,locker room talk, locker...
No, it's not justlocker room talk.
Oh, and by the way, Trumpcan try to excuse his behavior
by calling it"locker room talk,"
but you realizehe wasn't in a locker room!
He was at a TV interview.
If you conduct locker room talkeverywhere,
it's not the locker room,it's you, mother (bleep)!
-(cheering, applause)-It's you!
It's not locker room talk.
You're saying iteverywhere you go!
and besides, everyone knows,if you do locker room stuff
outside the locker room, thenthere are serious consequences.
Yeah, you see?
That guy gets it.
Yeah. He understands.
Oh, but there is...there is good news, folks.
America has spoken.
Because somebody did get fired.
Today Show host Billy Bushfaces fallout from that
leaked audiotape with Donald Trump.
NBC says Bush has been suspended indefinitely.
Welcome to the 2016presidential election.
If you're on TVand you say something
that offends the nation,you're gonna lose your job.
But don't worry,you can still run for president.