Hostile Takeover at The Daily Show

October 20, 2016 - Mike Colter 10/20/2016 Views: 41,726

The members of The Best F#@king News Team vie for executive power after Trevor calls in sick. (2:56)

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For more on the importanceof a peaceful transfer of power

we're joined by Roy Wood Jr.

(cheering, applause)

Roy, didn't Donald Trumplearn something from our show?

I mean, just today,we've seen how easy it is

to peacefully transfer powerfrom one leader to the next.

Do you wantto say something, Roy?

Bitch, you sucker punched me.

Okay, okay.

Right, but what a tributeto our great system

that we put all thatunpleasantness aside, you know?

I'm sure there wassome initial chaos

after we all found out togetherthat Trevor was sick.

-I told you Trevor was sick!-Okay.

You hit me with a chair.

Well, okay.

-We-we both said some things.Let's get... -I said,

"Why are you hitting mewith a chair?"

Okay, Roy.

-Why?-Check your-check your ego.

This isn't about you, it's aboutsupporting the winner,

no matter who they might be.

This ends bad for you.

Okay.

Great perspective there, Roy.

You know, it's a realteam of rivals here at the show,

but I'm really proudof how we've all

supported each other throughthis transition.

Let's go now to another oneof my loyal supporters,

Ronny Chieng.

Jordan, is that... is that you?

-Where-where am I?-You're in America, Ronny,

a great nation whose values meanwe don't kowtow

to authoritarian tyrants.

More specifically,you're in the boiler room.

O-Oh. Oh. Thank God.Listen, someone kidnapped me

and tied me up here, okay?I don't know who it was.

He was wearing a mask.But I can tell you

he was tall and lanky andhe had a huge head, all right?

Like, huge. Not wide, just long,like a fat banana.

-Actually, kind of likeyour head. -Okay,

you know what, he sounds like avery handsome kidnapper, Ronny.

The important thing now isthat you stay put,

and I'll come get youafter I've hosted the show.

Wait, you're-you're hostingthe show?

What happened to Trevor?

O-Okay, full disclosure,Trevor is sick,

and I had to take you out ofthe running, buddy. I'm sorry.

Trevor's sick? Oh!

I thought this was a hate crime.

No.

God, no, all right?

I'm not a monster.I'm an American.

Let's-let's just move onto Desi Lydic.

Desi, you're in Las Vegas.

Uh, unfortunately,something weird happened

with your travel itineraryand you're still stuck there.

Yeah, I wonderhow that happened.

And right before they neededsomeone to host the show.

Look, I've been herethe longest.

The guys would've done the samething if you were me, you know?

-I'll make it up to you someday.-Oh, yeah.

You're already making it upto me. I just upgraded

to the Tiger Suite. Yeah, put iton Jordan Klepper's tab.

K-L-E-P...

Wait, Jordan, how many P'sdo you have in your last name?

-It's-it's two P's. You...O-Okay, I see... -Two P's.

All right, I walked in...That is not cool, Desi.

What can I say, Jordan?I'm a nasty woman.

You are, indeed. Thanks,everyone! We'll be right back.