Today, an American companynamed Boston Dynamics

revealed an exciting new robotcalled Atlas.

Now, basically, this robotcan walk around on two legs,

pick up boxes, and basically,it can do everything

that you'd normally paya teenager to do.

(laughter)

Only without showing up to workthree hours late

in a hot box Honda Civic, right?

(laughter)

And the demo videosof these robots

is really fantasticand interesting to watch.

And then... it gets weird.

(mechanical whirring)

(laughter)

-(audience groans)-Thanks, guys. Thanks. Thanks.

Yeah. Here I was worried

that robotswere developing so quickly

they wouldn't have timeto resent us.

-(laughter)-Yeah. Yeah.

That robot just came onlinefive seconds ago,

and th is how we introduce itto humanity.

(robotically): Beep-boop-beep.Are you my father?

I love y... Ow. Ow.

Daddy, why are you... Ow.

You know, you can tell a lotabout a culture

by the robots they build.

Uh, France has developed a robotthat can judge artwork.

That's a real robot, in France.

Germany made a robot

that can solve a Rubik's Cubemore efficiently.

And Japan is working on a robotthat cares for the elderly.

And probably doessome sex stuff, too.

-(laughter)-Uh... it's Japan, it's Japan.

Come on.Uh, but it's interesting

that America is building robotsthat people can bully.

(laughter)

-I...-(whooping, applause)

You realize... you guys realizethat in a hundred years

that scene is going to bein the robot version of Roots.

-You understand this?-(laughter)

This is their story.

And this isn'teven the first robot

that the companyhas kicked around.

(audience aw-ing)

Why do you "aw"?It's a robot!

-(laughter)-It's not even a real dog.

It's just a dog-shaped...

Oh... man. Now, uh, now,look, robots and humans

are gonna have to live togetheron this planet,

so I just wantedto take a second

and talk to the robots at home.

Um, so all the humans, you guyscan go and grab a snack.

Hey, uh, robots,

(bleep) white people,am I right?

(laughter, applause)

I know you don't see color,because you're not racist

and your vision is heat-based,but trust me,

in the future robot apocalypse,just remember,

it wasn't a black guy thatpoked you with a hockey stick.

We don't even play hockey.