Kyle Kinane - The Whitest Thing

Kyle Kinane: Loose in Chicago Season 1, Ep 1 10/15/2016 Views: 3,543

When he was in Scotland, Kyle Kinane said something so intensely white that that he surprised even himself. (1:17)

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I was in Edinburgh, Scotland,

for a month last year,doing shows.

It was a fine time.

I said the whitest thingI've ever said in my life

in Edinburgh.

Not anything terrible,but just white.

Just white.

You know, sometimeshow you're hyper-aware

of, like,"Whoa, that was white."

Like, where youeven have to step back

after something comesout of your mouth,

like, "Ho-ho, mm."

"This tuna salad is pretty good,

but it could use a little bitmore mayonnaise, Barbara."


Thought you were morewell-rounded than that, dude.

Come on, man.

"A karaoke birthday partyon a Monday.

You're crazyfor this one, Timothy."


But then, once in a while,you just top yourself.

That's what happened to mein Edinburgh.

I think the exact phraseI used in Edinburgh, I was like,

"I can't believe this castledoesn't have wi-fi."

That was it.

It's not getting whiterthan that, dude.

That's it.

You complainedabout brand-new white shit

inside of real old white shit.

You just made a honky turducken,is what you did.