Thank you very much.
What a crowd.
Welcome to The Nightly Show.
Thank you. Please.
Please, have a seat.You're too kind.
You're too kind.
Thank you very much.
-(audience chanting "Larry")-Thank you very much.
Welcome to The Nightly Show.
They're correct,I am (laughing)...
"Larry"-- one guy got stranded.
Uh, so, man,last night was the start
of the Republican NationalConvention in Cleve...land.
So you know what that means,
the effort to Unblackenthe White House
is kicking into high gear.
That was...that was kind of scary.
Of course the big storycoming out of the night
wasn't Scott Baio or Benghazi,right?
Or about five different peoplecalling Hillary a murderer,
whatever that was.
It was the bigMichelle Obama speech.
Yeah. Yeah. Yes.
Yes...brought to you by Melania Trump.
Your word is your bondand you do what you say.
That your word is your bond,
that you do what you sayyou're going to do.
-Because we want our children-Because we want our children
-in this nation to know-and all children in this nation
-that the only limit-to know that the only limit
-to your achievements... -tothe height of your achievements
-is the strength of your dreams-is the reach of your dreams
-and your willingness-and your willingness
-to work for them.-to work hard for them.
So... you saw this, right?
Apparently a significant chunk
of Michelle Obama's 2008 speechat the Democratic Convention
was, like,airlifted out of Denver, right,
and-and just dropped intoCleveland for Melania Trump.
I mean, this is shocking.
I can't believe they would le...and this is even worse
than when Melania tookMichelle's "Let's Move" campaign
and turned it into her own,
"Let Us Do Motions" campaign.
You saw that.
I didn't think she'd get awaywith that.
So there you do.
Okay, I have to know,
who's responsiblefor this disaster?
Whoever it's going to be,
it's going to be their last dayon the Trump campaign.
I wrote it, and, uh,little help...
with as little help as possible.
With a little helpfrom Michelle Obama, right?
-Just a little... just a titch.-(applause)
"And I have a dream."
No. No, don't say that.
But she admitted she wrote it.
But it didn't stop the campaignfrom bending over backwards
to defend her. WatchTrump apologist/contortionist
Paul Manafort demonstratehis limberness.
You've heardall the similarities.
-How do you explain them?-Well, they're not
that many similarities.It's-it's basically three places
in the speech, and they're...it's fragments of words.
Wait, fragments of words?
Are you kidding me?No, no, no, fragments of words
are like, "Ba, ga.
Those are fragments.She took entire groups of words,
also known as sentences,
from the current first lady's2008 convention speech.
I mean, it's so obvious.But, guys, it didn't stop there.
So-- this is hilarious--
another defensecame from an RNC strategist
who insisted all of...all of her words
are-are just out there.
Melania Trump said, "You workhard for what you get in life."
John Legend said, "Work hard tobe anything you want in life."
Kid Rock said, "Work hard to beanything you want in life."
Melania Trump said,"The strength of your dreams
and willingness to workfor them."
Twilight Sparklefrom My Little Pony said,
"This is your dream. Anythingyou can do in your dreams,
you can do now."
Hold on a second.
Hold on, hold on. Uh-uh.
She even liftedfrom Twilight Sparkle?
You couldn't even stealfrom a medium-sized pony?
You had to stealfrom a little pony.
Have you no decency, lady?
But why even make excusesfor this?
It's so clearly plagiarism,right?
All right, so, in fact, joiningus now with another defense
of Melania is Trump campaignspokesperson Daniel Condone.
(cheering and applause)
Larry, come on.
This is all a coincidence.
Come on, man,it's nothing but coincidence.
People say the same wordsall the time.
No, but... Come on, Melania,
she-she liftedan entire paragraph
from Michelle Obama.
-That's plagiarism.-Plagiarism. Look!
It just happened! Come on!
I said... We said the sa...That's a total coincidence,
Larry. That's all this is.
Come on, man,I-I think you're reaching here.
Why can't they just admitthey did something wrong?
Well, uh, how do you knowthat Michelle Obama
didn't steal the speechfrom Melania?
W... How could that possibly be?
Michelle gave her speechin 2008.
Larry, um, you ever seethat movie Looper?
Was that, what,Mark Wahlberg or...
-No, no, it's Gordon-Levitt.Come on, man. Looper. -Oh.
Uh, anyway, uh, uh, you know,Joe Gor... Lev is, uh...
-he's looping through time,you know, -Right.
he's going back and forth,trying to fix stuff.
Uh, or is he goingto steal speeches? I don't know.
All right? I guess whatI'm saying is Michelle Obama
could have juststraight-up looped.
S-So,let me just get this straight,
-for you, it's more plausible-Think about it.
that Michelle Obama looped,
or time travelled,than Melania plagiarized?
Yep, that makes sense to allof us here at Trump HQ, so...
-I don't know.-Everybody.
How do I say this?How do I say this?
-You're a (bleep) idiot.-(bleep) idiot.
-Happened again! It happenedagain! Same words! -No...
You just proved my point!I guess you're my little pony,
-Wilmore, huh? What about that?-I am not your little pony.
Daniel Condone, everyone.
-Daniel Condone.-(cheering and applause)