Home Stenographer

  • Season 1 , Ep 1
  • 01/22/2003
  • Views: 89,208

A brand-new service makes your friends and employees accountable for their conversations. (2:09)

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YOU WERE AFRAID I WAS GONNA ENDUP LOOKING LIKE MY MOTHER.

I DIDN'T SAY THAT !YES, YOU DID !

NO, THAT'S NOTWHAT I SAID !

TIRED OF THISHAPPENING TO YOU ?

ARE YOU SICK OF YOURFRIENDS AND FAMILY

GETTING EVERYTHINGYOU SAY ALL MIXED UP ?

WELL, HELP HAS ARRIVED.

DON'T CALL ME A LIAR.

I DIDN'T SAY THAT !

OH, NO ?NO !

READ BACKFIVE MINUTES AGO.

JANICE: "WHAT ARE YOUSAYING, BRIAN ?"

BRIAN: "I AM AFRAID,I JUST FEEL LIKE SOMEDAY

YOU MIGHT LOOK LIKEYOUR MOM, MAYBE."

SHOULD I READ MORE ?

OH, NO, THAT'S FINE,THANK YOU.

IN YOUR FACE.

I'M GONNA GO MASTURBATE,HOME STENOGRAPHER.

WANNA WRITE THAT DOWN ?

THE HOME STENOGRAPHER.

NOW, FOR A SMALL, ONE-TIME FEEPLUS MINOR UPKEEP,

YOU CAN HAVE YOUR VERY OWNPERMANENT RECORD KEEPER,

RIGHT IN YOUR HOUSE.

WITH THE HOME STENOGRAPHER,

YOU'LL TURN ANY ROOMINTO A COURTROOM.

READ BACK WHEN THAT BABYSITTERTOLD THE KIDS TO GO TO BED.

YOUNG WOMAN: "ALL RIGHTYOU LITTLE BRATS,

"GO TO SLEEP,MY BOYFRIEND'S HERE,

WE'RE GONNA HAVE USA SEX SESSION."

KIDS: "WE DON'TWANT TO GO TO BED."

YOUNG WOMAN: "WELL, YOU CANWATCH IF YOU WANT,

JUST KEEP IT DOWN."

TO THE BOYFRIEND:"DROP YOUR PANTS, BIG MAN."

WELL, SHE'SNEVER COMING BACK.

THANKS, HOME STENOGRAPHER.

DUDE, NO MATTERHOW DRUNK I WAS,

WHY WOULD I SAY THAT I WOULDMAKE OUT WITH MATT DAMON ?

I DON'T KNOW, MAN,YOU SAID IT, THOUGH.

THERE'S NO WAY.

READ IT BACK TO HIM.

AND NOW, FOR THOSE ON THE GO,THE TRAVEL STENOGRAPHER.

BACKPACK SOLD SEPARATELY.

"I GUESS, IF IT CAME DOWN TO IT,I WOULD BANG BEN AFFLECK."

OH, MY GOD !

I KNEW IT WASONE OF THOSE DUDES.

YOU ARE SO GAY NOW !

STUPID DWARF !

TOTALLY GAY, 100%.

HOME STENOGRAPHERAND TRAVEL STENOGRAPHER,

AVAILABLE IN STORES, NOW.

( announcer )AVAILABLE IN ALL WALBOGS !

( man )♪ CHAPPELLE'S SHOW,OWW ! ♪

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