Jedi Sex Scandal - Uncensored

  • Season 1 , Ep 7
  • 03/05/2003
  • Views: 316,838

Yoda and Mace Windu address allegations about a possible violation of the Jedi master/student relationship. (4:39)

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GOOD EVENING,I'M CHUCK TAYLOR.

TONIGHT'S TOP STORY...

OUTRAGE THROUGHOUT THE COMMUNITYAS YET ANOTHER SEX SCANDAL

INVOLVING BOYSAND MEN OF AUTHORITY.

WHO IS IT THIS TIME,YOU ASK ?

JEDI KNIGHTS INA GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY.

MANY OF THEM ARE COMINGFORWARD WITH ALLEGATIONS

THAT THE JEDI MASTERSTHEY STUDIED UNDER

REPEATEDLY SEXUALLY MOLESTEDTHEM OVER A NUMBER OF YEARS

AND THAT THE JEDI COUNCILKNEW ABOUT IT ALL ALONG,

IN SOME CASES,ENCOURAGING THE ABUSE.

TO CLARIFY, JEDI KNIGHTSLIKE YOUNG LUKE SKYWALKER

BEING SEXUALLY ABUSED BY JEDISLIKE OBI-WAN KENOBI.

OKAY, WE'RE GETTING WORDTHAT COUNCIL LEADER YODA

IS HAVING A PRESS CONFERENCERIGHT NOW AT SKYWALKER RANCH.

WE GO THERE NOW.

( reporters shouting )

YOU.

YODA, ISN'T IT TRUE YOU KNEWOF THESE ABUSES IN 1977 ?

KNOW ABOUT SEX WITH BOYS,YODA DID NOT.

TIRED YODA IS.

RESIGNHE WILL.

( shouting )

YOU, YOU.

YODA, THEN HOW DO EXPLAINTHE RECENTLY UNCOVERED TAPE

THAT SEEMS TO IMPLICATEYOU IN THE COVER-UP

OF JEDI BOY TOUCHING ?

YODA THAT WAS NOT.

THEN WHO WAS IT ?

MICKEY ROONEY, MAYBE ?

OVER THISINTERVIEW IS.

CAN WE ROLL THE FOOTAGEOF THAT TAPE IN QUESTION ?

APPALLING YODA'SBEHAVIOR WAS.

DAMN IT !

NOW THAT FREAK HAS METALKING LIKE HIM.

OKAY, I'M BEING TOLD NOW THATMACE WINDAU, YODA'S REPLACEMENT,

IS NOW AT THE PODIUM.

WE GO LIVE.

I WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY THATTHIS COUNCIL HAS ZERO TOLERANCE

FOR ANY SEXUAL DEVIANCYREGARDING OUR JEDI KNIGHTS.

( shouting )

QUESTION HERE.

MACE, DO YOU FEELTHAT THE JEDIS

WHO COMMITTED THESE KINDOF CRIMES DESERVE TO DIE ?

YES, THEY DESERVE TO DIE,AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL !

STRONG WORDSFROM MR. WINDAU.

NEWS CENTER 3 HAS BEEN COVERINGTHIS STORY FOR SOME TIME,

AND EARLIER TODAY, I CAUGHTUP WITH THE FORMER JEDI KNIGHT

WHO FIRST MADETHESE ALLEGATIONS.

MY MASTER SAID THE FORCEWAS STRONG IN ME...

AND GAVE MEA WINE COOLER.

THEN HE MADE ME WEARA BLINDFOLD

AND REACHINTO HIS PANTS TO...

"LOOK FOR THE FORCE."

ARE YOU SIGHING, OR ARE YOUJUST... BREATHING NORMALLY ?

I DON'T EVENKNOW ANYMORE !

SON, I KNOW THIS ISDIFFICULT FOR YOU, BUT...

COULD YOU SHOW ME ON THE DOLLWHERE HE TOUCHED YOU ?

POINT IT OUT.

( breathing heavily )

CAN WE CUT TAPE ?

MIGUEL, YOU HEARD THE MAN.

CUT THE GODDAMN TAPE !JUST CUT IT !

I WAS JUST YOUNGAND CURIOUS.

( sobbing )

WE MAY NEVER KNOWWHAT REALLY HAPPENED, BUT...

PEOPLE ON THE STREETHAVE BEEN REACTING

TO THIS NEWS ALL DAY.

THIS NEVER WOULD'VE HAPPENEDIN THE WORLD OF STAR TREK

'CAUSE THE FLEET COMMANDERSWOULD NOT HAVE ALLOWED...

YOU CAN'T PROVE THAT !

( screaming )

A SIMPLE STATEMENT OF PROTESTFROM AN ANGRY YOUNG GEEK.

WHEN WE COME BACK...

GAY DROID MARRIAGE,SHOULD IT BE LEGALIZED ?

THIS QUEER COUPLESAYS YES.

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