The presidential election,with just two weeks left--
it looks like the glovesare finally coming off.
Vice President Joe Bidencampaigning for Hillary Clinton
in Wilkes-Barre, and here's whathe said about Donald Trump.
The press always asks me, don'tI wish I were debating him.
No. I wishwe were in high school.
I could take him behind the gym.
-(cheering)-That's what I wish.
Joe Biden wants to takeDonald Trump behind the gym.
You know what that means, right?
No, really.Do you know what that means?
-'Cause I don't know...-(laughter)
I don't know what happened inyour high school, but in mine,
the only thing happening behindthe gym was people hooking up.
No, everyone knows this.There are rules.
The parking lot is for fights.
The bathrooms arewhere you get high.
The cafeteria isfor ostracizing people.
The library is for usingcomputers to look at porn.
And then, behind the gym isfor finger banging.
That's what school knows.
-(laughter)-Everybody knows that.
But you do realize, folks,
this is the level of discoursethe election has sunk to.
The press asks Biden,
"Don't you wishyou could debate Donald Trump?
Expose his extremist agendausing facts and reason?"
And the sitting vice presidentreplies,
"No, I just wantto punch him in the face."
Luckily,when responding to Biden,
Donald Trump decidedto take the high road.
Did you see where Biden wants totake me to the back of the barn?
Me. He wants it.
I'd love that.
-I'd love that!-(cheering)
Mr. Tough Guy.
You knowwhen he's Mr. Tough Guy?
When he's standingbehind a microphone by himself.
That's when he's Mr...
He wants to bring meto the back of the barn.
The back...the back of the barn?
-Biden said the back of the gym!-(laughter)
This is why you don't letold guys into fight club!
The first rule of fight club isremember where fight club is!
-This doesn't make sense!-(cheers and applause)
Doesn't make sense.
Now you realizewhat's gonna happen.
Now, Biden's at the gym,Trump is at the barn.
Just gonna be punching somerandom person who comes there.
"Aah!"Goes like, "Aah!
I just came here for the sex!"
"Oh, that's coming!That's coming."
And, look, that I know everyone,including myself
is really excitedabout the prospect
of Joe Biden and Donald Trumphaving a physical fight
because that would be theperfect climax to this election.
But don't forget-- these guysare both in their seventies.
So it'll be entertaining, butit'll probably look like this.
"Hold my teeth!Hold my teeth!
Bah! Bah! Bah, bah, bah!"
Now, beyond Trump and Biden
setting up their wholewrinkle in the jumble,
what I found particularlyfascinating about this story was
how differentlyit was presented,
depending onwho was consuming it.
For instance,if you're a liberal,
you probably heard it as a story
about how Trump wantsto beat up Joe Biden.
But if you're a Trump supporter,
you saw it as Donald Trumpstanding up to Joe Biden.
And that's really becomethe story of this election.
Everyone picks sidesand blindly defends them.
Here's another example.
Last night on Fox News, MegynKelly talked to Newt Gingrich.
Now you guys probably rememberNewt Gingrich.
He's the Trump adviser who stoleall of America's jowls. Yeah?
-(laughter) -Now, Megyn Kellywanted to talk to him
about Trump's pussy-grabbing,and Newt went nuts.
-Rough time, at least...-If Trump is a sexual predator,
-that is...-He's not a sexual predator.
-You can't say that.-Okay, that's your opinion.
I'm not taking a position on it.
You could not defendthat statement.
I am not takinga position on it.
I'm sick and tiredof people like you
using languagethat's inflammatory.
When you used the words,you took a position.
-So what I said is...-And I think it's very unfair
of you to do that, Megyn.
I think your defensiveness
on this may speak volumes, sir.
-...and we did.-And you want to go back
through the tapesof your show recently?
You are fascinated with sex,
and you don't careabout public policy.
-(laughter and groaning)-Wow. Newt. Newt!
That's really not fair.
Just becauseMegyn Kelly invites people
who look likeswollen testicles on her show
does not meanshe's obsessed with sex.
That does not mean that.
Oh, and by the way,by the way,
Newt Gingrichshould not be complaining
that anyone is fascinatedwith sex.
This is the same dude whocheated on two different wives,
and when he was askedabout his cheating,
honest to God,he gave the best answer
I have ever heard in my life.
There's no questionthat at times in my life,
partially driven by-by
how passionatelyI felt about this country,
uh, that I worked far too hard,
and the things happened in mylife that were not appropriate.
-I'm sorry. Get the (bleep)out of here, man! -(laughter)
This guy just, "Why did youcheat on your wife?"
"For America. That's whyI did it." -(laughter)
"I did it for America.My passion and my... my vigor.
"In fact, I only do itto the National Anthem.
"Which is tough, 'cause we haveto do it standing,
"and it upsets everyone elsein the stadium.
But I do it for my country."
So once again, so once again,
here was a fight, and dependingon which side you're on,
you were told the fightwent a very different way.
So, a liberal Web sitelike Jezebel,
says that Gingrichmade a total fool of himself.
And a right wing Web site,like Breitbart,
says that Gingrichexposed Megyn Kelly,
and then bench-pressed her.
Which isn't reallya good headline
if you're a Trump supporter.
I mean, it-it sounds creepy.
It sounds like Newt was like,
"Donald Trump is nota sexual predator.
"Now, put your butt in my handsso I can lift you over my head.
"Come on, come on, come..."(groans)
That's one of the downsides
of everyone consuming newsin their bubble.
You don't get the news,you get your news, all right?
There are distorted fake newsstories everywhere online.
Obama shows his erectionto a reporter.
Tim Kaine yells at his daughter.
Uh, in fact, did you hear thestory about Bill Clinton?
Where he called Trump supportersrednecks?
Yeah. There's a headline,so it must be true,
unless you hearwhat he actually said.
You know, look, man...
the other guy's baseis what I grew up in.
You know, I'm basicallyyour standard redneck.
Oh, no, he didn't...
just identify with peoplehe disagrees with
to point out what they havein common.
There's nothing there.
He called himself a redneck.
The only part of thatI object to
is Bill Clinton claimingthat he's a standard redneck.
You can't say thatwhen you're riding around
in a private jet,my friend, yes.
Unless, unless you ride that jetwhile riding your tractor.
That's the only timeyou can do that.
But at least in that story BillClinton said the word "redneck".
Uh, sometimes, the storythat riles you up
can be somethingthat never even happened.
Like, say you go on yourFacebook, just for fun
to check out who had a sandwichthat made them feel blessed.
But then, but then, because ofthings you've liked over time,
up pops an article in your feed
about Bill Clinton'sillegitimate black son.
This is a real article,a real article
that's circling on Facebookright now.
Banished Bill Clinton's son
needs your helpto reunite with father.
And here's how I knowthis story isn't true.
If the Clintons had a black son,
-they would not be hiding him.-(laughter)
Best believe they'd be paradingthat (bleep)
around North Carolinagetting out the vote.
-They'd be like, this is ourdude! -(cheering, applause)
Tell them, Darnell,tell them to vote.
That story is BS, people,I'm sorry.
You can't-- you can take anybiracial person,
throw their black and whitephoto next to Clinton,
and it'll look like his son.
I mean, by-by that standard,I look like his son.
-Ah, look, look.-(laughter)
I look, I look like...
I look like his son.
What if Bill Clinton's my dad?
And I had him on the showand I never even asked him.
I mean, I... I hinted at itwith the mug I gave him,
-but, but still...-(laughter)
Now, uh, although this isa phenomenon
that seems to happenmore on the right,
uh, it still happenson the left.
You find the occasional fakestory about Republicans,
which is weird to me.
I honestly don't knowwhy you need
to make up anything fakewith Donald Trump.
There's no fake story you need.
Is someone sitting there, like,
"Ha, ha. And then he lookedat her pussy.
"I'm sorry, what?In real life?
For instance,if you're a liberal,
you might have seena headline that says,
"Linguists have decided
"Donald Trump hasa learning disability,
because he possesses avocabulary of 200 words."
And come on, people, 200 words?That's not realistic.
That barely covers the namesof his ex-wives.
That's not a realistic thing.
And if there's one thing youcan't insult The Donald on,
it's his language skills.
You just have to watch anyof his speeches
to see he effortlessly jumpsfrom one idea to another.
Words have never impededhis mind, because his mouth
is always trying to keep upwith his brain.
We're about to go-- we lose it.
We are in the wrong directionand maybe it's gone.
Supreme Court justices,always remember that.
But so many different levels,
and when you see what happenedwith crooked Hillary today,
it was a disaster.
Who? Wh... ? Amazing.
It's like he's doinglanguage parkour.
He's just bouncingfrom one word to... oh!
-That-- oh, that's...-(laughter)
That's pretty much what happens.
It's so impressive.
Wherever Trump's brain goes,
his mouth goes alongfor the ride.
In fact, I've studied Trumpfor over a year,
and what he doesis truly amazing.
And I'm not a master at this,
but I'll try to doa demonstration myself.
I'll try and do this,I'll try and do this.
A series of words will come upon a screen behind me.
And I don't know whatthese words are gonna be.
But I will use themto give you a Trump address.
Hold on, hold on.Let me just...
Let me just get myself ready.
Get comfortable and in the zone.
All right, let's go.
Folks, I'm gonna make Americaso great, folks.
You don't understand.This nation, folks,
this nation, folks, is bad,it's bad, folks.
The nation is bad.
There is bias in the media,folks.
The media is biased against us.
And-and ISIS--oh, my God, ISIS, folks--
I'm gonna beat them so...Folks, I'm not gonna tell them
what I'm gonna do, folks.ISIS...
It's gonna be a surprise, folks.I'm gonna be...
They're gonna die bigly, folks.
They're gonna die bigly.
Bigly, folks.They're gonna die.
And then the dragons...
Folks, the ISIS...
They have dragons.I've heard that ISIS has dragons
that use moisturizer, folks.
The moisturizerthat the dragons use and phot...
I'm not good enoughfor this, man.
I'm not... I'm notgood enough to do this.
-(cheering, applause)-But you get the point.
You get the point.You get the point.
The point is this:there are fake stories
everywhere online,and the effect can be dangerous.
Especially consideringthat millions of Americans
believe that the upcomingelection will be rigged.
Because that's whatthey're seeing on social media.