Hillary Clinton Lives the Black Experience

November 2, 2016 - Kal Penn 11/02/2016 Views: 89,851

With Donald Trump polling shockingly low among African Americans ahead of the 2016 election, Trevor explains why Hillary Clinton has a distinct advantage with black voters. (8:34)

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But, uh, let's get straightinto it, people.

The electionis just six days away,

and Hillary's lead in the pollsis shrinking faster

than a porn windowwhen the boss walks by.

Donald Trump, on the other hand,

just received his secondnewspaper endorsement.

Yes. This time, seriously,

-from the official newspaperof the KKK. -(laughter)

Which, by the way, is anextremely difficult newspaper

to read because they refuseto use black ink.

And, uh, yeah, and the mostpopular feature in the paper

is the burning crossword.

It's the same clueevery single day,

just someone saying, like, "Hmm.

"Perfectly acceptable wordfor a black person.

"Six letters.

"Starts with 'N.'

Nubian, that's it! Nubian."

But, uh, the KKK really didendorse Donald Trump.

I'll tell you one place whereDonald Trump isn't gaining

any ground on Hillary Clinton,it's with the black vote.

I wonder why.

Trump has currently two percentsupport among black people.

Do you know how hard it is

to have that few black peoplein anything?

Two percent.

You realize with hockey,

the black players make up

-five percent of the league.-(laughter)

That's hockey,that is hockey.

That's a sportthat has everything

black people are instinctivelyafraid of.

It's freezing cold,

white people in masksare chasing you.

They celebrate the goalwith a police siren.

And on top of all of that,hockey's the only sport

-where they throw you in prison.-(laughter)

-You know how insane that is?-(applause)

-People are sitting there.-(cheers and applause)

In the game, players lookingat each other like,

"Hey, man, how long you in for?

"A minute and a half.

What? I got 25 to life!"

God damn mandatory minimums."

And still, with all of that,hockey has more black support

than Donald Trump, and Trumpdoesn't seem to understand this,

as he's so eloquently said.

If African American voters

give Donald Trump a chance

by giving me their vote,

the result for themwill be amazing.

Look at the schools.

Look at the poverty.

What do you have to lose

by trying something new?

I feel likethat's the same sales pitch

they gave to people in Africa.

Lions are attacking you.There's famine.

Just get on the ship.

What do you have to lose?

Come on, folks?

-What do you have to lose?-(applause)

Just get on the ship.

It can't get worse.

Look, look, it's pretty obvious

why black people don't (bleep)with Trump.

But when it comes to Hillary,some people struggle

to understand whyshe is the candidate

with whom they do (bleep).

Uh, I looked at this,I looked at this.

And I came to realize,it only makes sense

that black people votefor Hillary,

because they relate to her.

Because, yes, Hillary Clintonmay be a white woman,

but she's been livingthe black experience.

Think about it.

She always rolls in an Escalade.

She spent most of her lifein government housing.

Her baby daddy'sgot side chick issues.

-And...-(audience exclaiming)

She even accessorizeslike a black person.

What's something that you alwayscarry with you?

Hot sauce.

♪ I got hot saucein my bag swag. ♪

Huh?

And, by the way,she did the hot sauce thing

way before Beyoncé.

Way before Beyoncé,when you think of it.

You know,a lot of people don't realize,

but-but the hot sauce thingis true.

It's not a metaphor.

Black people carry hot saucein their bags,

because, you know, of the fearof encountering bland food.

This is what happens.

You know, like white peopleleave the house,

and they go, like, cell phone,wallet, keys.

Black people are like, oh, hotsauce, hot sauce, hot sauce.

There's someone runninginto their house right now,

and they're like,"Baby, I forgot my hot sauce.

Mama, you ain't gonna meet nowhite people today, calm down."

She's like, "You never know.

"White people be inviting youall the time,

"And they be like, I insist.

"Next thing you know,I'm in their house,

"eating some bland-ass couscous.

"I'm like,where my hot sauce at?

"Just give me my hot sauce,baby.

Give me my hot sauce."

(cheering and applause)

Yeah, but you realize,you realize,

Hillary had the hot sauce thingway before Beyoncé did, right?

Hillary got cheated onand stuck with her man

way before Beyoncé did.

If anything, Beyoncé stole Lemonade from her.

Hillary is livingthe black experience.

I don't know why more peoplecan't see it.

Look at her outfits.

She dresseslike a black preacher.

In fact, in fact,when Hillary's at the pulpit,

she even speakslike the anointed.

I don't feel no ways tired.

I come too farfrom where I started from.

Amen, Hillary, amen.

Amen. Preach.

(cheering and applause)

If you think about it, Hillarywould make a great preacher.

She's always telling usto believe.

She has a ton of money but she'salways asking us to donate.

And whenever she talks,

you feel like you've beenlistening for hours.

Come on!

But where you reallystart to see the parallels

is in Hillary's life story.For instance,

what's the big thingblack people complain about

in America?White people.

Just kidding, no, no,just kidding, just kidding.

I'm not kidding.Just kidding. Um...

What black peoplecomplain about often

is that they are constantlylabeled as suspicious.

Now, that's something thatsounds very familiar to Hillary.

White America is conditionedto feel about black men.

They're scared of black men.

PUNDIT: I think many people are scared of her.

Hell, I'm scared of her.

The media and politiciansfear African Americans.

A lot of these delegates...they fear Hillary Clinton.

50% believe thatblacks and immigrants

are more prone to criminality.

The Trump base--"I think she's a criminal."

PUNDIT 2: The very dominant stereotype and perception

is one of crime and criminality.

People have always beenskeptical of her.

People just don't trust her.

Yeah.

Basically, when Hillaryand a black person

walk down the street,

half of Americalocks both its doors.

Yeah, they see a black guy,they go to the cross the street,

then they see Hillary onthe other side and they're like,

"I'll just stay in the middle.I'll take my chances

with the traffic."I'm telling you, people,

Hillary Clintonis living the black experience.

She's never been found guiltyof committing a crime,

and still, and still,she's had to suffer through

having an intimate relationshipwith law enforcement.

REPORTER: Over the past five years, police have stopped

over 300,000 pedestrians

in African American neighborhoods

on little or no suspicion of lawbreaking.

There have been nineseparate investigations

into the Benghazi attacks.

Not a single one of thesehas drawn a direct line

of responsibilityto Secretary Clinton.

I've had at least a couple dozeninstances with law enforcement,

um, that I'm pretty sure werejust predicate on... predicated

on the fact that, you know,I'm a young black man.

They're gonna keepcoming after me.

The FBI resolved all of this.

Honestly, they never quit.

They keep coming back.

Poor Hillary, man.

She's been questioned so much,that now even when

people ask her for the time,she's like,

"I ain't telling you (bleep)."

And look at what just happenedlast week with the e-mails.

Right? She's basicallybeing pulled over by the FBI.

This case was closedand now they're like,

"Well, what do we haveover here, Hillary?"

And Hillary's like,"Man, how many times

"we got to go throughthis (bleep)?

"I told you I don't do thate-mail stuff no more, man.

Step off me, Comey!Step off me, B!"

Hillary Clinton

is living the black experience.

Because now, not onlyis she being harassed

by the policeand the law constantly.

It's startingto affect her work.

She's been unemployedfor two years.

She's trying to get a job.

And now, just beforeshe gets into the building

for her final interview,the cops roll up.

And now what happens?All of America's

basically the manager lookingout of the window going,

"Why is she gettingpulled over?"

"I don't know, but, I, uh, shemust have done something wrong.

"I mean, the cops wouldn't justpull you over for nothing,

right? Oh, who else can wehire? Is there someone else?"

"Well, I mean, there is the guywith the tiny hands

and he's got, like,no experience."

"Oh, let's hire him. I mean,

what do we have to lose?"

If you think about it,Hillary's going through

the same experience thatevery black person is. Right?

She's qualified,but people don't trust her.

Her priors are coming backto haunt her.

And even if she doesget the job,

most people are gonna say, "Eh,it was a diversity hire anyway."