Not Just Clowning Around

October 12, 2016 - Bryan Christy 10/12/2016 Views: 30,793

America faces a nationwide creepy clown epidemic, prompting local law enforcement to take action. (2:26)

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I know that this is a comedyshow, people,

uh, but some thingsare just not funny.

Neighborhoods across the countryon edge after a series of scares

involving people dressedas clowns.

TV REPORTER: In some cases,

luring children into the forest,

peeking into people's windows.

The sightingsare terrorizing kids

and authorities are taking itvery seriously.

TV REPORTER: In Dartmouth, Massachusetts,

police put out this PSA:

Remember, that if you wantto act like a clown,

we have no problem treating youlike one.


So you're gonna squirt themwith seltzer,

and throw a pie in their face?

That doesn't sound so bad, man.That's not a threat.

Yes, it turns out there are somepeople out there

dressed in creepy clown outfits.

Clearly, some people are going,"2016 isn't strange enough.

"Hmm.We need to spice things up.

Come on, Maurice, let's goto the mall."

The good news is, though,everyone loves clowns.

-I can't, I can't...-Those creepy clown sightings...

-The creepy clowns anymore.-Natalie's scared of clowns.

I hate clowns, too,that's the thing.

I-I-I despise... Oh, it's,it's like my worst fear.

MAN: I'm scared of clowns.

It's just the way they've beenacting lately.

Like, and ever sinceI was a little kid,

it's just, I've never reallyenjoyed them.

I have two kidsin middle school,

and they are scared to death.

That's right.

The only thing that terrifieswhite people

more than a car full of clowns,

is realizing the karaoke rapsong they picked

-has the "N" word in it.-(laughter)

♪ I ain't sayingshe a gold digger ♪

♪ But she ain't messingwith no broke... ♪

Oh. That was a mistake.

That was a mistake.

Oh, and, by the way,

if you're considering grabbingyour own clown outfit,

and joining in this madness,

well, uh, say helloto my little friend.

I'm hearing all these thingsabout these clowns,

how everybody's scared of them,

let me tell you now, babe,

I'm not scared of dang noneof you all.

If I see you, I'm gonna tazeyour balls off.

Second, since you allwant to walk around

and act crazy and stuff,I'm gonna cut your foot off,

and then when you'reon your knees,

I'm gonna slap my nippledown your chest,

and punch you in your heart,

'cause I'm not, I'm not,I'm not the one!


Oh, my word.That guy's amazing.

That guy's amaz... he's notmessing around.

I feel like he could stop anyonefrom clowning around.

Like, a lot of peopledon't know this,

but next to him in the caris James Corden,

and even he's freaked out.


James Corden's like,"Do you want to sing?"

He's like, "Don't touch my radiomother (bleep).


Everyone, I love that guy.