Blacklash 2016: The Unblackening - Wild Claims from the Trump Campaign

August 15, 2016 - Julie Klausner 08/15/2016 Views: 15,948

Katrina Pierson tries to rewrite America's 2001 invasion of Afghanistan, and Donald Trump sort of takes back his "sarcastic" claim that President Obama founded ISIS. (8:52)

-(applause & cheering continue)-Yes.

Thank you very much!

Thank you!

Thank you very much!

-Thank you.-AUDIENCE: Larry! Larry!

-Thank you very much!-Larry! Larry! Larry!

-Thank you. I appreciate it.-(chanting continues)

Thank you.Welcome to The Nightly Show.

-Larry! Larry! Larry! Larry!Larry! -Thank you very much.

-Please. You're too kind. -MAN:We love you, Larry! -(cheering)

-I love you, too! I love you,too. -MAN: We love you, Larry.

I love all you guys!

(laughter)

I am Larry Wilmore.

Um, so, how was your day?

(laughter)

Um...

Mine? Yours was okay?

Well, as many of youprobably heard,

this is our final weekof The Nightly Show. Um...

-(booing)-I know. Yeah.

Four shows left, and I just wantto thank Comedy Central

first of all,for this rare opportunity,

and it really isa rare opportunity...

-doing this thing.-(applause and cheering)

Thank you so much.

And also,the staff of this show--

we have an amazing staff,you guys--

for giving it their allthis past 20 months.

Um, I want to thank, um...um, all of them here.

And especially,I want to thank all of our fans.

Let me just say, you guyshave been unbelievable.

We have the best fans in latenight, I'm saying it right now.

-Okay? Right now.-(cheers and applause)

It's the passion.

It's the passion.

Um, it really is true.

People come up, and they neversay, "Hey, nice show."

They always say, "Thank you!"

You know,it's such a cool thing.

And hearing from you guyshas really been incredible.

Even you, @wilmore_blows666.

(laughter)

I mean, you brought sucha unique voice to the dialogue.

-I appreciate that. Uh...-(laughter)

Now, when we started the show,we wanted to have a conversation

on some very tough subjects,

and we've had a lot of fundoing just that.

I mean, really,our show was at its best

when the news was at its worst.

And, uh, I'm just so proud

that we were ableto take on real issues,

and, I don't know, hopefully,say something powerful

while making people laugh andon some very, very dark days.

Um, my only regret isthat we won't be around

to cover this truly insaneelection season.

Although, on the plus side,on the plus side, I must say,

our show going off the airhas to only mean one thing--

racism is solved.

-(laughter)-We did it.

-(applause and cheering)-We did it.

In fact, in fact, in fact,I think we have a photo

from Fergusonthat was taken earlier today.

(laughter)

Yeah! You're welcome, America.

You're welcome.

But black and white aren't theonly issues out there right now.

Orange seems to be the biggestproblem facing America.

WOMAN:Yes! Yes!

So let's check in and see what'shappening with the Unblackening.

(screeching)

(yelling)

(screeching and yelling)

(screeching)

That thing's gonna haunt mefor a long time.

-(laughter)-It is.

Okay, now, last week,I made a few jokes

at the expense of Trump'sspokes-goblin Katrina Pierson.

(laughter)

Um, I don't wantto give the impression

I was picking on her justbecause she's working for Trump.

I would never do that.

-Goblin lives matter, you guys.-(laughter)

Okay? They matter.

Ugh!

But then she has to goand say this.

Remember, we weren't evenin Afghanistan by this time.

Barack Obama wentinto Afghanistan,

creating another problem.

-No, no, no, no!-(laughter)

No, Obama did not gointo Afghanistan!

Now you're just being stupidfor stupid's sake!

-WOMAN: Yeah, there you go!-Okay?

But I don't understand.What is wrong with you people?

Perhaps you're not familiarwith all the disasters

from the Bush Administration.

There was a terrorist attack.We got into two wars.

Vice president shot his friend,for Christ's sakes.

There was a horrible hurricane,which, thanks to you,

is no longer the first thingthat comes up when you Google

the words "Katrina"and "Total (bleeping) show."

(laughter)

-Okay.-(applause)

-But...-(whooping)

but... but--

sorry--maybe you were going fast

and you didn't mean to say that.

Let me give youthe benefit of the doubt.

That was Obama's war, yes.

Mmm...

But look at the confident wayshe spews that bull (bleep).

"It was Obama's war, yes."

(laughter)

Now, earlier today she admittedshe got this wrong,

after the entire world told hershe was wrong.

But here's whatreally gets me, guys.

She's the spokesperson for a man

seeking the highest officein the land.

All she had to do was be alivefor the last 16 years...

right, to have knownshe was wrong.

And keep in mind, as a goblin,

she may have been alivefor centuries.

(laughter)

All right? I'm just saying.

-(applause, whooping)-This is possible.

Also, here's the other thing.And these Trump surrogates

not only spew these lies,like, with confidence,

sometimes the bull (bleep)coming out of their mouths

surprises even them.

So to be clear, Mr. Trumphas no financial relationships

with any Russian oligarchs?

If that's what he said,I... that's what I said...

that's obviously what the...our position is.

-(laughter)-Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

The bull (bleep) is comingout of his mouth so fast,

you almost wantto hold his head back, right?

-(laughter)-(coughs)

Go ahead, man, get it out.Take your time.

(choking)

(groans) But someonewho doesn't seem to mind

the taste of bull (bleep)in their mouth is the...

is the bovine dungconnoisseur himself.

President Obama.

He is the founder of ISIS.

He's the founder of ISIS. Okay?

-(cheering)-He's the founder.

He founded ISIS.

And... I would say the cofounder

would becrooked Hillary Clinton.

Mm, mm, mm.

Please make upyour own joke there.

(laughter)

But Trump soon followedthat bat (bleep) crazy statement

by doing somethingvery presidential--

sendinga bat (bleep) crazy tweet.

All right?

(audience gasps, groans)

(laughter)

Well, but that's not sarcasm.

Sarcasm is when you tellyour friend with the ugly shirt,

"Hey, nice shirt."

(laughter)

Not sure why you would do thatto your friend

who's just tryingto get back on the dating scene

after his divorce, but...

Regardless,sarcasm is a pretty lame excuse.

But at least Trump kind ofadmitted he was wrong, right?

Obviously, I'm being sarcastic.Then... then...

But not that sarcastic,to be honest with you.

(laughter)

"To be honest"?You're never honest with us!

The end of your sentencestated the complete opposite

of the beginningof your sentence.

Do you have any ideahow confused

the middle of your sentence is?

(laughter)

(groans)

I got to Keep It 100about this election.

Donald Trumphas stopped being funny,

he's stopped being outrageous,

he's stopped beingpolitically incorrect--

he's just downright dangerous.

AUDIENCE MEMBERS:Yeah! Yeah!

(whooping, applause)

Let me tell you.

And the worst...

and the worst of it is,he's just a liar, okay?

And I don't want to hear...

(mocking):"Hillary Clinton's a liar, too."

Okay? That isa false equivalency.

Let me tell you something.

Hillary Clinton is a very smartand capable politician

who many people don't trustbecause she spends too much time

lawyering her wordsso she doesn't lose votes,

instead of telling us whatshe actually (bleep) thinks.

All right?

Donald Trump is apsychopathic narcissist who...

-(cheers and applause)-MAN: Go, Larry.

...not only has the hands of aninfant, he has the mind of one.

Okay?

(cheers and applause)

I'm just saying.

I'm justsaying.

And I apologize to all infants.

(laughter)

Okay?

So, stop comparing the two.

Donald Trump is an existentialthreat to America.

And if you love America,like me,

you have to hopethat Hillary Clinton wins

every single electoral votethis November.

-(applause, cheering)-Let me just say.

Let me make this clear.

(applause)

It's not so much that"I'm with her."

It's that I'm with her.

We'll be right back.

(cheers and applause)