Now before the break,we saw how Donald Trump obsessed
over the physical appearanceof Miss Universe.
Reportedly calling herMiss Piggy,
uh, which many peoplewere not impressed by,
including the actual Miss Piggy,
who was like, "Oh, I didn't hearyou complaining
when you were tapping this,Donald."
Uh, now to be...that-that's not fair.
Miss Piggy would neverhave sex with Donald.
I'm sorry, Miss Piggy.
Now, to be totally fair,
it-it's common for peoplein many fields to be held
to high standardsof fitness and beauty.
And not just in, you know,a Miss Universe Pageant.
Obviously, women face a lot morescrutiny in that department,
but even my contractfor this show
says that I'm not allowedto have certain things.
Like, I'm not allowed to rockmy trademark soul patch, right?
Uh, yeah, because apparentlyit tested badly with millenials,
uh, and baby boomersand single women,
and married women,um, and minorities,
and white people, and men,and children, uh, and animals.
But still,I miss you every day, patchy.
Uh, but even if, even ifyou grant that point.
The thing we are learningevery day about Donald Trump,
is that he doesn'tjust treat beauty pageants
like beauty pageants.
In fact, during the campaign,he treated his fellow candidates
like they were runningfor Miss President.
This year Secretary Clintonbecame the first woman nominated
for president by a major party.
Earlier this month,you said she doesn't have,
"A presidential look."
TV REPORTER: The billionaire businessman taking heat
for comments he made about Carly Fiorina
in a Rolling Stone article published yesterday.
Trump reportedly saying, "Look at that face.
Would anyone vote for that?"
Well, it turns out, no. No.
But not because of her face.
There was an endlessbounty of reasons
not to vote for Carly Fiorina
that have nothing to dowith her face.
And this beauty standardof Trumps
isn't just a personal thingwith him, right?
He applies these principles tohis professional life as well.
Here he is on stage explaininghis hiring policy
to a young womanwho has just asked for a job.
-Isn't that horrible?-(laughter)
-WOMAN: Ew. -MAN: Ew.-(people groaning)
-"Ew" is correct.-(laughter)
Experience doesn't matter.
If Trump thinks you're hot,then you're hired.
So I guess nowwe can stop speculating
about what Trump's Supreme Courtwould look like.
Only difference is,no more lifetime appointments.
As 35, you're gone.
But that waitress' appearance
is what Trump is focused on,all right?
Because that's what he does.Every time.
As The Daily Show revealedearlier this year,
this was even the casewhen Trump was asked
about his own one-year-old baby.
Now, Donald, what doesTiffany have of yours,
and what does Tiffany haveof Marla's?
Well, I thinkthat she's got a lot of Marla.
She's a really beautiful baby,and she's, uh...
she's got, um...she Marla's legs.
We don't know whether or not,she's got this part yet,
but time will tell.
(audience groaningand murmuring)
I don't carehow many times you watch that.
-It never stops being creepy.-(laughter)
It's like seeing photographsof dogs wearing pantyhose.
No matter how many timesyou look at it,
it never stops feelinglike you just walked in
on your grandma in the bathroom.
There is no context
in which Trump will notzero in on a woman's looks.
And we discovered a clipthe other day
that exemplifies that perfectly.
It's December 2004,
and America is in a tizzyover a sex scandal
in which a 23-year-old middleschool teacher was arrested
for having sexwith a 14-year-old student.
AKA, a sex crime.
And in an appearanceon a morning radio show,
Donald Trump was kind enoughto share some of his thoughts.
DON IMUS:Yeah. Well...
You know, for a man who'sso pessimistic about America,
about the world,about humanity as a whole,
Donald Trump has a surprisinglyglass-half-full perspective
on adultsbanging middle schoolers.
I mean, wow, is there anythingthat Donald Trump doesn't judge
by how hot the woman is?
God forbid America,under President Trump,
is ever invaded by Sweden.He'd just be like,
"I'm okay with this, folks.Get me a white flag
and a bottle of cologne.We're gonna take it."
And, look, let's be fair--Trump is not alone here.
Many men-- many men and manyadolescent boys, you know--
for them, hooking up withtheir hot teacher was the dream.
Not me, though, becausemy teacher was a giraffe, okay?
-It was a totally differentworld. -(audience laughs)
No, guys, don't laugh,don't laugh, please.
Because this wasthe village's smartest giraffe.
It's not like we justput any old giraffe
in charge of the classroom.Come on, give us some credit.
I only say them
because some of youbelieve them.
The point is, a lot of men
probably have the same reactionto this hot teacher story.
But a lot of men also probablyshouldn't be president.
Especially a manwho thinks life itself
is nothing more than a beautycontest where every woman alive
is a participant,whether they want to be or not.
Because let'sbe honest here, folks,
there's only one pigin this whole story.
And it's the onewho got slaughtered
at the debate on Monday.