But first, I was really,really sick last week, Thursday,
and, um, I couldn't do the show.
And can we just acknowledgefor a second
that I've moved to America,and since I've been here,
I've been to the hospitalmore times
-than I ever didin South Africa. -(laughter)
Yeah. And it's not becausewe don't have hospitals,
and if you thought that,you're racist.
Yeah, there's something going onwith the food.
Anyway, uh, I was unableto do the show,
and you probably noticedI wasn't...
Well, I hope you noticedI wasn't here.
So the show was hostedby Jordan Klepper,
who did an amazing job,by the way.
Thank you so much,Jordan Klepper.
-(applause and cheering)-Yes, uh...
Although, part of me thinks
there was one person watchingwho was, like,
"Wow, Trevor really turned uphis white half tonight!"
-(laughter)-"I like it! Yeah."
But that's not howbeing mixed race works.
I can't just turn it up and down
like the brightness settingon a TV.
Although sometimesI do wish I could do that.
I wish I could, like, turn upthe blackness or the whiteness.
You know, I'd turn upthe blackness to be cool,
and I'll turn up the whitenessto get loans. Um...
-(laughter and groaning)-But first...
But first, let's move on.It's getting started, people.
Early voting is underway.
And you know how Donald Trumpsaid to be on the lookout
for shenanigansat polling places?
Well, now,I think I believe him.
WOMAN: Justin Timberlake may be in trouble
because he snapped this selfie
while voting yesterday in Memphis.
Tennessee law prohibits photos in election booths.
The local D.A. says the matter is under review.
Apparently, it's illegal to takea selfie in the voting booth
while smelling your own farts.
To be fair to Justin, though,
that's the facemost Americans are gonna make
when they vote this year.Like...
I don't see why taking picturesshould be illegal.
Come on. We livein an age of sharing now.
That's how millennials roll.
But I will admit that sometimesit's possible to go too far.
DJ Khaled shared the birthof his son
on social media Sunday morning,
documenting his longtime fiancée's
entire delivery on Snapchat.
Putting your baby's birthon Snapchat?
That's just disgusting!
I mean, everyone knowsthe decent thing to do
-is put it on Instagram!Come on! -(laughter)
Yeah, because then you can makethe baby look younger
using the Valencia filter.Come on, people!
Work with me here!
Although I got to say,
Snapchatting the baby coming outis weird and a little gross,
but it looks super funnywith the puppy filter.
-It really, really does.-(laughter)
It works on so many levels,guys!
-Oh, my God, it really does.-(laughter and groaning)
You realize we truly arein the age of millennials now.
Yeah, where doctors are gonna bedelivering babies, like,