Ken Bone: America's Newest Sweetheart

October 11, 2016 - Charlamagne Tha God - Uncensored 10/11/2016 Views: 124,696

Undecided voter Ken Bone becomes a breakout star of the 2016 election after winning America's heart in a town hall-style presidential debate. (4:18)

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But first, uh,let's talk a bit more

about Sunday night's,uh, town hall debate

between Hillary Clintonand Groper Cleveland.

Um... after the debate,

some people say that Trump won.

Because, honestly,he managed to distract attention

from his pussy-grabbing scandal.

And some people sayHillary Clinton won

because she made sense.

But it's clear who really won,

because in the middle of thathistorically nasty debate

an exhausted nationcried out to God,

"Throw us a bone."

And he did.

Nearly 67 million peopletuned in to the debate,

and the surprise starwas the man in the red sweater.

What steps will yourenergy policy take

to meet our energy needs?

The Internet determineda clear winner, Mr. Ken Bone.

A man in a red sweaterstole the spotlight.

-Ken Bone, you're so charming.-The legend of Ken Bone.

-Bone heads.-We all love Ken Bone.

I'm looking for him on Twitter,'cause I want to follow him.

REPORTER: T-shirts are now being sold with the caption,

"Welcome to the Bone Zone."

Welcome to the Bone Zone.

That is the first time"bone zone"

has not sounded creepy at all.

Now you call your...Come on, kids,

time to play in the Bone Zone.

Yay!

I love Ken Bone.I love this guy so much.

And it's not just me.For two days,

all of Americahas been experiencing

a non-stop Ken boner.

And it's no surprise--he's cute,

he's got a great sweater.

But here's whyI fell in love with Ken.

Because up until nowI had no idea--

honestly, no idea--why a voter in this election

could be undecided.

But Ken-- he got to my heart

and he made a good case.

I think I'm moreuncommitted than I was

when we started, I'm afraid.Uh, Donald Trump--

he might have, uh, myeconomic interests more in mind,

uh, just from a personal level.

But on the other hand,if he's allowed

to appoint the nextSupreme Court nominee,

there's a very good chancethat we could lose

some of the rightsthat, uh, we've fought for.

I do not want to seeanyone's rights taken away.

Uh, so that's what makes itdifficult for me,

is we're looking ata personal interest

-versus community interestelection. -Right.

Okay, two things I loveabout this guy:

one, everything.

Two, he's not justthinking about

his own interestsin this election.

With all the negativitywe've been exposed to

throughout the campaign,Ken Bone

seems likean actually decent person.

And also, I love that he'sstill wearing the sweater

that made him famous.

Yeah.

Which makes sense, becauseif you wear something specific

when you do something heroic,

you've got to stickwith the look.

You know right now there's a guyout there who really regrets

rescuing a baby while he waswearing jean shorts. You know?

And people are like,"Get a picture of that hero."

He's like, "No, no, wait,let me change, let me change.

Aw, (bleep),I'm Captain Jorts forever now."

But Ken Bone isn't justa ray of honesty

in this hurricane of (bleep).

He's also a one-manbasket of adorables.

I went from, last night,having seven Twitter followers,

two of whichwere my grandmother,

because she had to, uh,remake her account

when she forgot her password,

to, uh, now I haveseveral hundred.

No!

He's so fluffy!

Aah! Aah!

His grandmother follows himtwice on Twitter?

This guy isso naturally appealing.

You know right nowHillary's campaign

is just analyzingeverything about him.

She's gonna show upat the third debate

in a red sweaterand a fake mustache.

What are you talking about?

I've always looked like this.

And here's the most...

the most Americanpart of this story for me.

Since the debate, Ken Bone was--

and-and this is true--

he was even offereda porn contract.

Yes, yes.

Because porn producers--

they know what's up.

They're on the phone,they'll be like, "Listen, Ken,

"uh, either we pay youor we hire a look-alike.

Either way, the Bone porn train

"is leaving the station.

"Then it's gonna go backin the station,

"then back out of the station,then back in the sta...

"Yeah, that's right,like-like a penis.

You get it. Yeah, you get it.You get it."