Um, but before we diveinto our top story,
let's take a lookat other some news.
In the U.S. Open,Serena Williams
continues to dominatewomen's tennis.
She won her 309thgrand-slam match,
and... she's on the way ofbreaking Steffi Graf's record
of 22 grand slam titles,which is just amazing.
Wow, Serena Williams.
Her brother, Kat,must be so proud.
Um, in other news,North Korean leader
and, uh, world'sbiggest baby Kim Jong-un--
well, he madea big announcement.
REPORTER: North Korea's leaderKim Jong-un has banned
the country's citizens fromusing sarcasm
in their everyday conversation.
No, don't laugh, no.Poor Kim Jong-un.
You realize... I mean,it seems he's being a dick,
but you realize he's been hurt.
That's the only reasonhe'd do that.
Because, clearly, he discoveredthat everyone's just been
making fun of himthe entire time.
Everyone in his country's beenlike, "Yeah, yeah,
"that's, uh, the body typeeveryone aspires to.
Yeah, yeah, that's, uh... Yeah."
Why do I feel likeit all started
with Kim Jong-un's barber,you know?
It was like, "No, no, Kim,I'm not lying, no--
"everyone's rockingthe mustache as a haircut.
"Yeah, yeah. Now,you look-you look sexy.
Trust me, you look sexy."
Uh, we-we got a great showfor you tonight.
Uh, so beforewe get into our main story,
say helloto The Daily Show Band.
Thanks, guys,that was amazing. Uh...