Do-Nothing Congress - Gun Control Gridlock

June 21, 2016 - Adrienne C. Moore 06/21/2016 Views: 954

Despite overwhelming public support for stricter gun control, Democratic and Republican lawmakers fail to push legislation through Congress. (8:09)

Welcome to The Nightly Show.

Man. I like it.

Very good. Very good.

Thank you very much.I am Larry Wilmore. Thank you.

Great show tonight. Oh,from Orange is the New Black,

Adrienne C. Moorejoins us tonight, you guys.

(cheering, applause)

Those...That is an amazing cast.

Lot of good acting in that.Okay, but first,

um, after the heartbreakingshooting in Orlando last week,

I had hope that somethingmight finally happen

when it comesto gun legislation.

And, yesterday, finally,

members fromboth sides of the aisle

joined handsand voted on legislation

in the hopesof securing a safer future

for our nation's children.

I'm just kidding. It's Congress,for Christ's sake.

It's Congress, you guys.

It...They ain't gonna do nothing.

Which means it's timefor our ongoing coverage

of the do-nothing Congresscontinuing to do nothing.

New gun control measuresappear unlikely after the senate

failed last nightto pass four separate bills.

Each fell shortof the 60 votes needed.

That's right. Faster than youcan say AR-15,

the senators, one by one,methodically shot down

all four bills last night.Though to be fair,

though to be fair to the NRA,it's the bill's own fault.

If they wanted to survive,

they should havearmed themselves.

Just saying. Just saying.

All right, so let's recapthe four gun control measures,

uh, that weredefeated last night.

REPORTER: There are two versions of a measure that would

make it harder to buy a gun for anybody

who just happens to be on

the federal terror watch list.

Right, this is commonly referredto as the "terror loophole,"

not to be confused with the,uh, ill-fated children's cereal,

Terror Loops.

Uh... It's, uh...

It's like a jihad in your mouth!

Y... Yee-haw!

Jihad in my mouth?That would be horrible.

Uh, okay, so Republicansrejected the Democratic bill

because they believedit deprived Americans

of their right to due process,and they have a point.

Innocent people show upon that list all the time.

And getting off of itcan be arduous,

more difficult than getting offPottery Barn's e-mail list.

Those (bleep)will hunt you down, man.

I know. But then Democratsrejected the GOP bill

because it wouldonly block sales

to a suspected terrorist

with proof that they'll blowsomething up in the future.

What?

I mean, how would thateven work?

Um, okay, so,it says on the form here

that you'rea terrorist and...

and you're planning onblowing something up?

Uh... uh, yes, that's correct.

Oh. Um...

are you planning on doing thatin the near future?

Um... I don't know,

next couple of days.

Oh.

I'm sorry, sir. I can'tsell you an assault rifle.

Aw! Don't I getany points for honesty?

All right, next timeI'm just blowing (bleep) up,

I'm not telling anybody.How about that?

Now, while I never expected,uh, one side to roll over,

I did honestly believe that thistime, the two sides

would do their level bestto find common ground,

because even in thisincreasingly polarized

political environment,there is one thing

Americans largely agree on.

REPORTER: The question was do you favor background checks

for gun buyers? All Americans overall, 89%, said yes.

And let's break that into Republicans.

92% of Republicans

favor background checks on gun buyers.

89%

of all Americans,

and they can't get it done?

They're kowtowing to the 11%.

Hey, guys, I foundthe one minority

Congress cares about.

Good lord.

(cheering, applause)

Now... by the way, by the way,

it'll come as no surprise

that there is plenty of blameto go around.

For us to get14 Republican senators

who are under the gun,

literally, with the NRA,

I think is un...

going to be a-a stretch.

Okay, that senatorwho looks like a Ken doll

that's been microwaved, um...

um, on medium for 30 seconds--

he is correct.

I'm sorry.

And the Democratsaren't without blame, either.

As The New York Times said this morning,

(reading)

So they forced something into itthat they knew

Republicans would hate,like every gun would have to be

checked by a black lesbianclimate scientist.

They wouldn'tlike that (bleep), man.

All right, so, to review:the GOP bills were too weak

and the Democratic bills wentdown because Republicans say

any attempt to regulate firearms

violates the second amendment.

Even though the amendment's

second and third words

are "well regulated."

"Well regulated" means

"well, regulate it".

Now, The Washington Post said that even before

the Senate vote, uh,the new gun measures would fail

because the NRA's base--those against gun control laws--

are "more passionateand politically organized

than the average voterswho support them."

They called this involvementphenomenon "an intensity gap."

Uh, by the way, Intensity Gap

is right next to Baby Gapin the mall.

Uh, if you're interested.Hey, guys,

it is the most intimidatingplace to buy khakis.

Let me tell you.

So, for more on thisintensity gap phenomena,

please welcome The Nightly Show's

-intensity expert, Mike Yard.-(cheering, applause)

Hi, Mike.

Larry, thank God

that we're talkingabout this, Larry.

I mean, we haveno time to waste, man.

Wow, Mike, uh, you seem prettyfired up about this issue.

I didn't know you were so...

Larry, I have a son, okay?You have a son and a daughter.

We cannot squanderanother second on this, man.

Mike, I appreciateyour feelings,

but I have to sayyou're being a little intense.

And you're not beingintense enough!

Th-This is the intensity gapright here, Larry.

This is it, me and you, okay?

I'm over here giving it my all,

and you're over thereall bland and (bleep),

talking about, "Come on, Mike,you're being a little intense."

Come on, man!

What are you,the black Drew Carey?

-I...-Bring it up!

Get in the game!

All right, but...But, wait, but Mike...

Mike, you're just yelling.I mean, come on, man.

Volume doesn'tequal effectiveness.

Uh, yes, it does.It absolutely does.

I'll show you. Here-- uh,what are you more passion...

what are you passionate about?

Um, I don't know.I mean, I love Star Wars.

Greedo shot first.

Oh, come on, man, no, no, no.Han shot first, man.

-Greedo shot first!-Greedo did not...

-Greedo... Greedo... -Greedodid not... Han shot first!

But it was Greedo's fault, man,'cause Greedo's

just sitting there...sitting there with a gun!

Who sits there with a gun, man?!

-Aah! That's making me...-Aah!

-See? See? See?-What?

And those peopleare make-believe, Larry.

-They didn't even get shotfor real! -Oh.

-Look how intense you got!-Oh, (bleep).

-There you go.-(laughter)

That's a phenomenal point.

We care more about Tatooinethan our own country!

What the hell are we going to doabout this intensity gap?

Well, thankfully, people arestarting to get vocal

about gun control, but the NRAhas had a head start, man.

They've been saying"From my cold, dead hands"

since the '70s, man!

That intensity gap is wideas hell, Larry!

-God, you're right, Mike.-Excuse me?

(loudly):Uh... You're right, Mike!

There we go.Bring up the intensity!

You're (bleep) right, Mike!

Okay, say it with me now.

(Bleep) the NRA.

(Bleeping)

-You did it, man!-Yay!

-You did it!-You did it, man!

-You closed it!-Yes.

-You closed the gap!-Yeah.

BOTH: Aah! Aah!

Intensity expert Mike Yard,everybody. We'll be right back.

-BOTH: Aah! Aah!-(applause and cheering)

Come on!

Aah!