Please welcome Jim Gaffigan!
-♪ -(cheering and applause)
-How are you, Jim?-We're like adults.
-We are like adults, aren't we?-We're adults.
-We've grown up.-We're almost adults.
We're a long way away...We met for the first time--
it was in Australia...
(Australian accent):In Australia.
...after comedy showsin a random restaurant.
-And now look at us--we're wearing suits. -Right.
-I know.-We've grown up.
I looklike I was born in a suit.
Has anyone ever lookedmore Republican than me?
I... This is what I look like.
I am so white-bread.
Trevor,people will come up to me,
they'll tell me racist jokes.
-That's how white you look?-You probably...
That probably doesn't happento you.
No, it doesn't, at all.
People will come up to me, andI... and I always think, like,
"Wh-Why'd you thinkI'd want to hear that?"
What do you dowhen that happens though?
You just laugh.
I-I don't feellike you're helping the situ...
I see it as a teachable moment!
No, it's-it'sa horrible feeling.
I love the idea that peopleare walking away going,
"Jim Gaffigan laughedat my joke. It's really cool."
Yeah, no, well, people think...They probably look at me,
they're like, "Well,if anyone would have a problem
with people with pigmentation,it would be the pale guy."
-That's what they think.Anyway... -And that's not true.
Thank you for being on the show.Thank you for being here, sir.
Good to be here.This is good coffee.
Let's, uh... let's...
let's talk about...It's not supposed to be coffee.
But let's talk about, um...
let's talkabout The Jim Gaffigan Show.
It's funny,because we-we met backstage
and we're just...we're chatting for a bit,
and then Jim says to me,he's like,
-"Have you actually watchedmy show?" -Yeah.
Why would you ask me that?
Because it's so hard!
I mean, you deal with this, too!
It's like we work so hardon these shows.
and it's like there'sa billion shows to watch,
and, so, like, if you can getsomeone... you literally...
I feel like you haveto wrestle people
and put them in frontof a television,
because we're so spoiled.
People are like,"Is it on Netflix?"
"Is it on Hulu?"
No! Sit in frontof your cable box!
You made it soundlike there's no TV
-attached to the cable.-I was about to say GD.
No, but like, I have cable.
I feel like-like...
-We all know people-Yes, yes, yes.
that don't have cable.
-And, and, I'm always kind of...-Well a lot of people are
-cutting the cord,is what... Yes. -Yeah.
And I-I sit there and I go,
"Well, w-where do you sendyour $500 a month?"
Wh... How do you do that?
Can I-can I tell you--
and this is not becauseyou're on the show--
this is genuine.
I bumped into the show.
There was a repeaton Comedy Central,
and I caught the middleof the episode.
It was so funnyin the first few minutes,
I sought to find it.
It was on TV Land on demand.
I found it,
and I watched it, and Ihaven't stopped watching it.
-You're a good man.-It is one of the funniest
episodes of TV.
-Oh, thank you.-It's one of the funniest shows.
It is truly oneof the funniest shows...
...I have ever...I didn't even check.
W-was that a true story,by the way,
-the tweet scandal?-It is, it is a true story.
So this is, this is...for those who don't know,
it's like the-the storyis basically around
-a tweet that you sent-A tweet.
and its outrage...
Yeah, we're-we're comedians.
We try and be funny,
and some of that humor is builtaround some surprise.
Or, like, uh, tongue-in-cheek.
And so I did this tweet,
and the blowback was incredible.
By the way, if you don't knowme, I'm a very clean comedian.
I talk about, like, donuts,all right?
So I'm not a flame-thrower.
Anyway, so I got...there was all this blowback,
but it was so funny,because it wasn't
that I was right or wrong,
it was just that peoplewould pile on.
-'Cause, in the end,-Yeah.
you know, human beings,
there's this tribalkind of like,
"Let's kill him!"
"Let's hunt someone!"
We all want to hunt someone!
But like, y-you see,the-the-the context is
what you said, though,you are a clean comedian.
No one even-- when the, whenthe articles were being written
about you-- no one even went,"Oh, this is not
"what Jim Gaffigan--maybe we missed
-what the tweet was about."-Yes.
No, it's just likethere is this outrage.
We-we-we, as a culture, we wantto, like, build someone up
and then we want to tearthem down, like, "Get 'em!"
I don't know, do I sound crazy?
-No, you-you sound angry,though. -I am crazy.
-You sound...-I am a little angry.
Is this-is this outrage?
I feel like to get peopleto watch my show,
maybe I should do a sex tape.
-(laughter)-I think you should.
Can I be in the sex tapewith you?
Good, 'cause if we do ittogether...
(cheers and applause)
That almost happened, everyone.
You know, if we kissed, thatwould have gone everywhere!
That would have been everywhere!
We could have done it, Jim.
I know i... how baddo we want fr... (laughs)
We do this for ratings!
We did it!
If you want to seemore of these kisses,
watch The Jim Gaffigan Show! It's really funny.
You'll find it on TV LandSunday nights at 10:00 p.m.
with encore presentationson Comedy Central
Thursday nights at 8:00 p.m.
Jim Gaffigan, everybody!
(cheers and applause)