Spot the Africa

December 4, 2014 - Angelina Jolie 12/04/2014 Views: 438,482

Between rampant racial inequality and Ebola outbreaks, South African comedian Trevor Noah admits that he hesitated to visit a country as troubled as the U.S. (5:49)

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK TO THESHOW!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THIS IS AGREAT NIGHT FOR US.

WE'RE ALWAYS EXCITED ON THE SHOWTO FIND NEW TALENTED VOICES THAT

CAN CONTRIBUTE TO OUR PROGRAM SOWE ARE VERY PLEASED TO WELCOME

OUR NEWEST CONTRIBUTOR FROMSOUTH AFRICA, MR. TREVOR NOAH!

TREVOR, THANKS FOR JOINING US.NICE TO SEE YA!

WELCOME, SIR!>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

>> Jon: HOW ARE YOU? WE'REREALLY DELIGHTED THAT YOU'RE

GOING TO BE JOINING US.(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

AND I KNOW YOU FLEW IN JUSTYESTERDAY FROM SOUTH AFRICA.

>> YEAH, I JUST FLEW IN AND BOYARE MY ARMS TIRED!

>> Jon: OKAY. ALL RIGHT THERE,OLDIE BUT A GOODIE. VERY NICE.

>> NO, NO, SERIOUSLY, I'VE BEENHOLDING MY ARMS LIKE THIS SINCE

I GOT HERE.

YEAH, I NEVER THOUGHT I'D BEMORE AFRAID OF POLICE IN AMERICA

THAN IN SOUTH AFRICA.

IT KIND OF MAKES ME A LITTLENOSTALGIC FOR THE OLD DAYS BACK

HOME.

>> Jon: THAT'S JUST -- C'MON,ARE YOU SAYING BLACK PEOPLE IN

SOUTH AFRICA TODAY DON'T GETASSAULTED AND KILLED BY POLICE?

>> OH NO, NO, I MEAN THEYDO, BUT SINCE APARTHEID ENDED

THEY'RE NOW ALSO GETTING KILLEDBY BLACK POLICE.

PROGRESS.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: WELL THAT'S,THAT'S, LISTEN, BABY STEPS.

BUT YOU'RE RELAXED NOW, YOU'RENOT NERVOUS, YOU FEEL GOOD.

>> I'M JUST A LITTLE BITNERVOUS, TO BE HONEST.

BETWEEN YOUR COPS, AND, FRANKLY,YOUR EBOLA.

>> Jon: YOUR EBOLA, MY FRIEND!IT'S NOT OUR, BELIEVE ME, HE

MISPOKE -- YOU ARE FROM AFRICA,IT'S YOUR EBOLA, MY FRIEND.

>> NO, NO. NO,NO. SOUTH AFRICA,JON.

WE HAVEN'T HAD A SINGLE CASE INOVER 18 YEARS.

IN FACT, MY FRIENDS WARNED ME,THEY WERE LIKE

"TREVOR, DON'T GO, DON'T GO TOTHE U.S., YOU'LL CATCH EBOLA!"

BUT I WAS LIKE, "YOUKNOW WHAT, GUYS?

JUST BECAUSE THEY HAD A FEWCASES OF EBOLA DOESN'T MEAN WE

SHOULD CUT OFF TRAVEL THERE.

THAT WOULD BE IGNORANT."

RIGHT?

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Jon: SURE -- THAT, THAT

-- THAT WOULD BE IGNORANT.

YOU KNOW, I GUESS WE TENDTO FORGET THAT SOUTH AFRICA,

YOU KNOW, ISN'T, YOU KNOW, RIGHTNEXT DOOR TO LIBERIA. RIGHT?

>> IT'S 4,000 MILES AWAY.

>> THAT'S WHAT I, YEAH, I WASCALCULATING IN KILOMETERS.

>> I'M SURE YOU WERE, JON,>> Jon: THANKS.

>> I KNOW. YOU KNOW WHAT,

TO A LOT OF AMERICANS AFRICA ISJUST ONE GIANT VILLAGE, FULL OF

AIDS HUTS AND STARVING CHILDRENWHO

YOU CAN SAVE FOR JUST FIVE CENTSA DAY!

BUT THERE'S A WHOLE OTHER SIDEOF AFRICA YOU NEVER GET TO SEE.

>> Jon: YEAH! YOU'VE GOT THATVIDEO OF THE LIONS WHO CHASE

THAT BUFFALO, ANDTHEN THE CROCODILE COMES UP

AND HE GRABS IT, YOU KNOW WHAT IMEAN? AND THEN HE GOES --

>> YEAH, YEAH, AND THEN THEBUFFALO GETS AWAY.

>> Jon: YEAH, YEAH YEAH!

>> YES. YEAH, THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M TALKINGABOUT.

>> Jon: NOPE, ME NEITHER.

>> JON, YOU KNOW WHAT? LET'SPLAY A LITTLE GAME.

IT'S CALLED "SPOT THE AFRICA".

>> Jon: THIS DOESN'T INVOLVEME

IDENTIFYING ANYTHING ON A MAP,RIGHT?

>> NO, NO. I WOULDN'T DO THAT TOYOU.

>> Jon: THANK YOU.

>> JUST TELL ME WHICH OF THESEPICTURES WAS TAKEN IN AMERICA

AND WHICH IS FROM AFRICA.

>> OKAY, I GOT THIS. THEBEAUTIFUL HIGHWAY ON THE RIGHT

THERE, PROBABLY SILICON VALLEY,IT'S PROBABLY HEADING OFF TO

TWITTER THERE. THE ONE ONTHE LEFT, CLEARLY BEEN SHELLED

BY REBELS, I'M GONNA GOWITH SOMALIA, MAYBE. AND --

>> ACTUALLY, THE ROAD ON THERIGHT IS A SUPERHIGHWAY IN

CENTRAL AFRICA, THE PHOTO ON THELEFT I TOOK FROM MY CAB ON MY

WAY HERE FROM THE AIRPORT.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)YEAH, THAT'S THE F.D.R.!

TRY AGAIN. TRY AGAIN.

>> ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT. OKAY, THISONE'S EASY. ON THE LEFT THERE

THAT'S THE "SUCCESS ACADEMY" INHARLEM. ON THE RIGHT THERE WE

GOT, YOU KNOW, WE GOT HOMELESSKIDS. I'M GOING WITH IN SOMALIA

AGAIN. I THINK THAT'S MY GO TOREFERENCE.

SOMALIA. HOMELESS KIDS.

>> I'M SORRY, JON. THE ANSWER IWAS LOOKING FOR WAS

"CLASSROOM INKENYA" ON THE LEFT AND "CHILDREN

IN DETROIT" ON THE RIGHT.

LAST ONE.

>> Jon: I HATE THIS (BLEEP)GAME.

ALRIGHT, NOW, I GET HOW THISWORKS NOW. THE ONE ON THE

RIGHT THERE, THAT'S DETROIT,RIGHT? OKAY? AND THEN UH --

>> WELL ACTUALLY, THAT'S, THAT'SA SLUM IN JOHANNESBURG.

SOME PLACES IN AFRICA ARE STILLPRETTY (BLEEP).

>> Jon: ALRIGHT, I GET YOURPOINT THERE, TREVOR. BUT

YOU'RE NOT SAYING THAT THINGSIN AFRICA ARE BETTER THAN THEY

ARE IN AMERICA, ARE YOU?

>> NO, NO, NO, I'M NOT SAYINGTHAT. YOU GUYS ARE SAYING THAT.

>> THE UNITED STATES RIGHT NOWINCARCERATES MORE

AFRICAN-AMERICANS AS APERCENTAGE THAN APARTHEID

IN SOUTH AFRICA DID. THE RACEGAP IN WEALTH IN THE UNITED

STATES RIGHT NOW BETWEEN THEMEDIAN WHITE FAMILY AND THE

MEDIAN BLACK FAMILY IS 18 FOLD.THAT'S GREATER THAN THE

BLACK-WHITE GAP WAS IN APARTHEIDSOUTH AFRICA.

>> Jon: OH MY GOD.>> HERE'S THE AMAZING PART.

FOR SOUTH AFRICA TO ACHIEVETHAT KIND OF BLACK-WHITE WEALTH

GAP, WE HAD TO CONSTRUCT ANENTIRE APARTHEID STATE, DENYING

BLACKS THE RIGHT TO VOTE OR OWNPROPERTY.

BUT YOU, YOU DID IT WITHOUTEVEN TRYING!

WE TRAINED FOR DECADES AND YOUJUST WALTZED IN AND WON THE GOLD

MEDAL.

>> Jon: WELL THAT'S,YOU KNOW, BLUNDERING INTO THINGS

IS HOW WE ROLL.

>> WELL, AT LEAST WE'RE GETTINGBETTER, WE STARTED FROM THE

BOTTOM AND NOW WE'RE HERE.>> Jon: A LITTLE BIT OF DRIZZY.

A LITTLE BIT OF DRAKE RIGHTTHERE. A LITTLE BIT OF --

>> I'VE NEVER HEARD OF HER.>> Jon: ALRIGHT.

>> I'VE GOT TO BE HONEST,JON.

AFRICA IS WORRIED ABOUT YOUGUYS. YOU KNOW WHAT AFRICAN

MOTHERS TELL THEIR CHILDRENEVERY DAY?

BE GRATEFUL FOR WHAT YOUHAVE BECAUSE THERE ARE FAT

CHILDREN STARVING INMISSISSIPPI. IN FACT,

WE ARE SO WORRIED THAT MEAND SOME OF MY FRIENDS IN

SOWETO GOT TOGETHER AND ITOLD THEM, I SAID GUYS, FOR

JUST A FEW PENNIES A DAY,YOU CAN HELP AN AMERICAN.

>> Jon: THAT'S VERY KIND,TREVOR.

>> NOW THEY'RE EXPECTINGSOMETHING FROM YOU IN RETURN.

THEY'RE EXPECTING AT LEAST ALETTER A MONTH.

>> Jon: NO, I KNOW. I KNOW HOWTHAT GOES.

I KNOW HOW -- YOU HAVE TO WRITE--

>> IF YOU WANT, YOU KNOW WHAT,YOU CAN JUST DRAW A PICTURE.

>> Jon: WILL YOU PUT IT UPON THE FRIDGE? THAT'S NICE.

>> OH AND YOU KNOW WHAT? WEWROTE A SONG FOR YOU AS WELL.

>> Jon: ALRIGHT. I'M LOOKINGFORWARD TO THIS.

>> YEAH, YEAH. GOES A LITTLESOMETHING LIKE THIS

♪ FEED AMERICA.

♪ LET THEM KNOW IT'S CHRISTMASTIME.

>> Jon: OH, NO! ALRIGHT NO,PLEASE! WE CAN'T --

>>♪ FEED AMERICA EVERYBODY NOW!

♪ LET THEM KNOW IT'S

CHRISTMASTIME ♪♪>> Jon: TREVOR NOAH,

EVERYBODY!