(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK.
THANKS SO MUCH.
NATION, IT'S NO SECRET BARACKOBAMA WANTS TO INDOCTRINATE OUR
STUDENTS WITH HIS SOCIALISTAGENDA.
I'VE EVEN HEARD DISTURBINGRUMORS THAT KINDERGARTENERS ARE
BEING FORCED TO SHARE.
(LAUGHTER)THAT'S WHY I'VE LONG OPPOSED HIS
COMMON CORE CURRICULUM WHICHSETS UNIFORM EDUCATION STANDARDS
ACROSS ALL A 50 STATES.
NO WAY!
DIFFERENT STATES HAVE DIFFERENTVALUES.
I DON'T WANT MY KID ENDING UP INCOLORADO'S DRUG EDUCATION
COURSE, WHICH CLASSIFIES WEED ASA CONDIMENT.
(LAUGHTER)BUT I MAY BE COMING AROUND ON
THE COMMON CORE, BECAUSE ITTURNS OUT COMMON CORE TESTING
PREPARES OUR STUDENTS FOR WHATTHEY'LL FACE AS ADULTS.
POINTLESS STRESS AND CONFUSION.
(LAUGHTER)NEW COMMON CORE STANDARDS
STRAIGHT FROM THE GOVERNMENTBEING ADOPTED IN 45 STATES AND
CONFUSING THE HECK OUT OFPARENTS.
>> CRITICS SAY THESE TESTS AREHURTING, NOT HELPING STUDENTS.
>> THE KIDS ARE ANXIOUS ANDUPTIGHT.
>> IT'S STRESSFUL.
RIDICULOUS.
I WOULDN'T ALLOW MY KIDS TO TAKETHE TEST TODAY.
THEY WERE STRESSING OVER IT ANDTHEY WERE GETTING UPSET.
>> Stephen: OH, COME ON!
TESTS ARE SUPPOSED TO BESTRESSFUL!
THAT'S WHY THEY CALLED IT ABLOOD PRESSURE TEST WHICH I ACED
WITH A 1600.
WHAT ARE ARE THE KIDS SO WORRIEDABOUT?
LOOK AT THIS MATH QUESTION.
FIND JACK'S ERROR, THEN WRITE ALETTER TO JACK TELLING HIM WHAT
HE DID RIGHT AND WHAT HE SHOULDDO TO FIX HIS MISTAKE.
THAT'S A GREAT QUESTION.
TEACHES TWO IMPORTANT WORKPLACESKILLS -- MATH AND PASSIVE
AGGRESSIVE NOTE WRITING.
IT'S GOING TO COME IN HANDY!
(APPLAUSE)FOLKS, WE ALL KNOW IT'S GOING TO
COME IN HANDY WHEN YOU HAVE TOLEAVE POST IT NOTES ABOUT PROPER
YOGURT ETIQUETTE IN THE BREAKROOM FRIDGE.
FOLKS, THAT WORD PROBLEMCOULDN'T BE EASIER TO SOLVE.
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS CHECK THESEMICIRCLES ON THE TWO-SIDED
ARROW, PUT THE NUMBERS UP IN ITAND, BING, BANG, MATH!
THE SAME THING I DO WHEN I GET ACHECK AT A RESTAURANT.
DRAW A BUNCH OF SHAPES AND TELLTHE WAITRESS TO FIND MY ERROR,
AND I FOR ONE DO NOT SEE WHYKIDS AREN'T NAILING TOTAL GIMMES
LIKE THIS NEXT QUESTION.
MIKE SAW 17 BLUE CARS AND 25GREEN CARS IN THE TOY STORE, HOW
MANY CARS DID HE SEE?
WRITE A NUMBER SENTENCE WITH AGREY BOX FOR THE MISSING NUMBER.
EXPLAIN HOW THE NUMBER SENTENCESHOWS THE PROBLEM.
THAT'S EASY.
AND IF FOR SOME REASON YOU DON'TKNOW WHAT A NUMBER SENTENCE IS,
I'M SURE YOU COULD USE A WORDEQUATION OR A FORMULA PARAGRAPH.
AND THERE'S HARD PROOF THAT THECOMMON CORE IS ALREADY OPENING
OUR CHILDREN'S MINDS TO NEW WAYSOF THINKING.
JUST LOOK AT THIS ACTUAL ANSWERTO THAT QUESTION GIVEN BY A
CALIFORNIA SECOND GRADER.
17 PLUS 25 EQUALS 42.
I GOT THE ANSWER BY TALKING INMY BRAIN AND I AGREED OF THE
ANSWER THAT MAY BRAIN GOT.
(LAUGHTER)IN FACT, THAT IS THE SAME ANSWER
I AGREED OF IN MY BRAIN.
(LAUGHTER)FOLKS, THIS CHILD HAS A BRIGHT
FUTURE.
HE'S ONLY IN SECOND GRADE ANDCAN ALREADY CLEARLY EXPLAIN WHAT
IT FEELS LIKE TO THINK.
NOW WE JUST NEED TO GET HIM TOEXPLAIN WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE TO
WHOEVER WROTE THE COMMON COREQUESTION.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.